Savas! How art thou? heh..
Lisha, sounds like your cats is acting tired because of the spaying procedure. Some cats do not take anesthesia lightly, and spaying isn't the same as neutering. Spaying can cause the cats to urinate themselves, be a bit listless or act tired for days. It also causes appetite loss. So, I would not be surprised if one or both decided to refuse eating for now. Keep them calm. Make them rest. Give it time and follow your vet's advice.
As for declawing, if the paws are healing fine, like you said I would not worry about the paws getting an infection. Are they getting antibiotics and pain killers? Don't ever let them leave the house. Some cats with claws get traumatized when they get lost. Be patient. Give them re-assurance and love. Did you do all four paws? Or all 8 paws?
That's a hard question to answer. Cats do sometimes have a personality change from being fixed.
As to declawing, many cats will react badly to finding themselves without their main defense mechanism. Some never really recover from declawing amputation procedures.
All you can do is be patient, loving, understanding and hope your kitty will adjust.