Kitty gets scared and loses his lunch...and more!

[aprilheartskitty]

I have 3 cats...2 are brothers (Clapton and Titus) that I have had since they were 6 weeks old (now 5 years old).  The third cat (Aeon) was a new addition in summer 2007, we received him at 6 weeks (now 1.5 years old).

Titus has always been more scared of noises, strange people, new places, etc...whereas Clapton is very easy-going and will hang out with anyone.  Aeon has always been the most aggressive cat, but has his moments of kindness.

We have always had a problems with the cats marking their territory, but once we had Aeon fixed a few weeks ago, everything was going great.  Then Titus got out of our apartment and was missing for 2 days.  We found him behind our apartment building, after an exhaustive search in our neighborhood the whole weekend.  Since we re-introduced him into our apartment....it's been hell on earth.

Aeon will not leave Titus alone, and is on the offensive all the time.  Stalking him and backing him into corners and under furniture.  Titus and Aeon have always had a love/hate relationship but this is completely different.  Aeon has gone so far as to take big patches of Titus's fur and Titus is to the point where he is hiding in corners, being so scared that he loses his bowels and throws up or defecates on himself.

We have purchased a Comfort Zone air diffuser (as recommended by our vet) to calm everyone, but there is no stopping them.  At this point, we have Aeon in one part of the apartment, and Titus is in another, completely blocked off from each other...but we can't keep living like this, our apartment isn't that big.

Is there something that we're missing?  Why is Titus getting so scared he loses control and why is Aeon so set on making Titus so miserable?  What can we do to keep the peace in our apartment?  We're at the point of wanting to give away one or both of them, just to keep our sanity.  

[Mrs_Savas]

To begin with... are they neutered?  If not, then doing so will no doubt make life much easier.

Cats have a complex social hierarchy and sometimes they have distressing ways of establishing order.  In my experience, as long as they are neutered, you should be able to resolve the issue with patience.  

Make sure not to punish or scold Aeon.  You will increase the level of hostility and confuse him - remember in the cat world he's not doing anything wrong or abnormal.  He's just an alpha male type, not a bad cat in any way.  

You will have to let them spend some time together or they will never work it out.  Aeon has to make his point and be satisfied and Titus has to feel safe and know that his home isn't threatened.  Try to get the point across that you love them both, but that Aeon is not to hurt Titus.  

I understand how frustrating and difficult this issue is to deal with and there is, sadly, no quick fix.  Just understanding and patience.  

[catcaretaker]

I would try petting both cats, and then rubbing your hands with the smell of one cat to another, to transfer the smell of both cats.  Then put the cats together and you pet them, to transfer smell of cats to another, plus your scent, as "mother cat".  Continue to separate the cats when u are gone, but put them together when u are home, and pet them together, giving them the smell of both cats, plus yours. They should start to realize you are the "mother cat", and work it out.

Otherwise, the two cats will have to fight it out, and establish who is in charge, it won't be pretty, but it will solve the issue.  They will fight, but one will become the winner, and the problem will be over.  If you don't want to take this final step, then prob best to have someone else own one of the male cats fighting.

Catcaretaker

[Monkeybuttorama]

it's possible that the kitty who got out is so covered in now smells that he no longer has the "pack" smell, you might want to try rubbing each cat down with the same towel, especially scent glands,repeatedly over a couple days to renew the "pack" smell

or it might just be that since the two cats never completely got along, and you are in such a small space, that the more aggressive cat was actually happy he was gone and is now angry that he is back.. to me it sounds like a territory issue.. and the scent thing may help, or it may not.

cats are more solitary animals, and when you put too many in too small a space, they get frustrated, angry, sometimes even hostile..it's like putting two people who hate each other alone in a room for days, weeks, even years.. you can't force them to like each other, and now that the behavior's been started up, it may not stop..

I wish I could give you better news about it,but from what I've read and my own personal experiances..
I do hope it resolves, and I do hope everything works out for the best