ready to surrender

[irislita]

I am sorry family...but i need to vent.i was sick for the last 2days.it all started when i had the last walk with my sister on saturday.in the end i was walking up stairs when all of a sudden i felt an earthquake feeling in my neck and an awful pulling.i started imediatly to have breathing issues,i broke out in sweat and could hardly walk anymore.since then i just feel like a piece of crap.i rested 2days and thought i am better.my bf got sick today and i decided to do the shopping and buy fruits and stuff for him.i am freaking as i was not even able to do shopping.my balance is so of and with every step i make i get so nautious...and lightheaded.what the hell am i here for.i am a useless piece.i checked again with the appointment with the specialist.needless to say i had to send papers again as they got lost once.he didnt review my case yet.i do understand he is head of surgery and chiari specialist here and in a lot of emergency surgerys,but i cant stand waiting anymore ... I just need to have a simple date in my head.i am sorry to vent...but i feel my case is going nowhere....but worse

[linnielou232]

For me asking for help really was hard for me and I had a very very wise pastor who asked me how it made me feel when I did nice things for other's thoughout my year's of growing up,  That was me as a person, pleasing others and finding things to help them.  When it came down for me needing help I didn't know how to except it until I was approached with this question and I searched my heart and found how wonderful it made me feel doing things for people.  He said to me.  "The people who want to help you and do things for you want that  feeling that you had in your heart. It gives people joy to help others".  He then said.  "Let them have that feeling".  I  now understand.  It's a good feeling to know we all can help each other.  I hope this makes sense.  I just know it helped me to understand it is ok to ask for help.  It's a good feeling to help others.

Good day, Linda :)

[irislita]

Oh linda u r so sweet...i have to get to know my new better and see signs coming and give up like u said to overdo on a good day...as u also pay the double for it....and i am on my way to ask people for help and especially accept the help.thanks for ur answers.hope u r doing fine

[linnielou232]

I'm going my my 2nd anniversary june 9th and I have to say I did the same as you.  I do this to myself all the time and it upsets me and my DH all the time.  When we have a good day we want to get everything done just in case we have a bad day tomorrow.  Which for myself I set myself up for it.   Having Chairi does require moderation.  I was gardening over my my DD house yesterday and half way through I stood up and said. "I'm Done. I can't do anymore".  Now a yr ago I couldn't of done this.  I would of gone on until I was really suffering then lay in bed for 2 days.  So please when you have things that you need to do please do it moderatly.  Ask for help if needed.  When I'm in stores I still ask people to help me lift items that are over 20 pounds.  There are alot of people who love to help.  Also I agree with you about your doctor.  We all know they are busy, but you are worth some time.  I think persistant is the #1 word in finding answers with Chairi, just keep doing what you are doing.  Best of luck.
Linda :)

[irislita]

Ok selma u might be right.i did a lot for a chiarian last week.plus i am sick and feel strange in my stomache.thanks for ur words.always apreciate it.

[selmaS]

  Hi....I know u do not want to hear this, but u r over doing it...u had a few days of over doing it and rested for 2 then went shopping, which is lifting and in florescent lights...ugh....check to see if there is a shopping service there...but , I would suggest u not do that for a while...some things r not for u, right now u need to heal...and some activities or chores will affect u still....we all heal at diff rates and one thing we ALL NEED is patience to wait...it is not easy....but we will have set backs if we do not.

I am not saying to wait on the Drs I am saying wait on doing all the things u feel u should be doing or feel u might be able to....don't!

Sometimes we look for answers of what is wrong, and Drs can not see that we need more time to heal....as someone watching so many try to get back to life as fast as possible for over 4 yrs, let me tell u that back fires.....with each yr that passes u will see u have improved from the yr b4....so if u can see if from yr to yr, where r u on that time line? How far post op?

[irislita]

Thanks for ur answers really.while others are on bbq or at the beach i.have my 3rd day in a row in bed.the health system in spain is for me doubtful.i have the public and privAte inssurance.i have been with at least 3nl,3ns and a hand full of other doctors and no one has really brought me forward.useless info and i have the feeling i have more info than them altogether.the problem is really that there are only few specialiat.my specialist is only in a public hospital...underpaid,overworking.i have no choice than waiting as he is the only one really interested in this condition.
My pApers are already there now,but the secretary told me he is sooo busy...he just doesnt have time.i am calling after them that they already know my voice...she promised me to try to get me scheduled asap...i will get on their nerves till they give me a date.i really lost a lot of shame with chiari...i feel i really have a little piece that is not discovered yet and not until all the experts in this world tell me theres nothing more we can do....i cannot surrender.i brought back into places my thoughts and i will fight for my answers...my pcp is sometimes overwhelmed by my knowledge and told me oh i see...u r a clever girl...u dont just accept the answers until its logic...hihi...thanks again...its taking everything out of me this chiari...but u all know it...and on days like this i am wondering how people still run their familys and jobs...guys i admire u all

[Sexybare]

As I said before, we are two peas in a pod, with all these issues after surgery. Keep fightin, dont give up. And we have to continuously bug the dr. wish we lived close to help one another out. Stay strong.  Dana

[Viva001]

Im sorry that you have to deal with bureaucracy when you're unwell.  Can someone help you?  
How is the health care in Spain?

[Rahe28]

Vent away beautiful.  It is so hard when you are waiting and waiting and waitng. I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. You are so brave and such a good person. Go ahead and get that paperwork to them again....and just call all the time. YOu know how persistent we have to be....and if that doesnt work....go to his office and just sit there until he sees you or they give you a date. This was what I had to do with Dr Tender.....should have know he was not right for me. ANyway....i know it is hard to just wait in limbo. Please remember to take things in small doses to try and avoid the symptom outbreaks. My best wishes and love to you my friend. I hope that you start to feel better. I wrote you back...but i think it deleted my message. I will re write  it soon.