10 yr. old g.daughter's angry behavior and bullying

[samijo1]

My g.daughter is 10yrs. old, she is very hyper. She gets in these moods when she doesnt want to do something that she is told and she become angry, hits, yells and just is impossible. Telling people to shut up being very rude. She was not treated like this at all ever. She also when she wants something she takes it away from the other children and if they dont give it to her she hits them. (not with kids other than her brother and sister). When we tell her to go to bed at night it is a fight getting her into bed. She doesnt get hit or anything, she is grounded and privilages taken away. Then getting up for school we have to ride her to get her to get ready for school. Now sometimes she goes to bed sometime very easily, and she gets up ok sometimes. We dont understand. We dont know how to handle this behavior. We are at the end of our ideas. We want to help her, we have taken her to the doctor, the pills didnt work out. we are now seeking counciling for her with a professional to try to find out what is going on with her. I ask her when she is in a good mood what is going on with her, she says that she can not help it. She is embarrassed by her actions. She is a loving child. A middle child of 4. She has an older sister that she loves and wants to be like. She is 14yrs. She is a big influence to the 10yr. old. She jealous of the 10yr. old for being pretty and smart. Sometimes the 14yrs. is mean to her. And I see the 10yr. old acting like the 14yr. old but worse. wow...dont know what to do about this. Never had this problem with my children. the 10yr. old's mom is crazy with what to do with her. Do not want  her drugged up on medication that will cause her side effects forever.

[jdtm]

I ask her when she is in a good mood what is going on with her, she says that she can not help it. She is embarrassed by her actions  --  your words

This might be a clue to what is going on - I'm not sure counselling is the answer; it is possible that you might be dealing with a mental health issue.  By the way, the correct medication in the correct dose does not "change" or "drugs up" a person; it only corrects them.  This is not to say that this child requires medication - just that one should not fear "correct" medication.  By the way, what was the diagnosis (albeit incorrect) for the "pills which didn't work out"?   Just wondering ....

[margypops]

Reading this I would say check out the family/sibling dynamics, you say the 14 year old has a lot of influence on the 10 year old,and reading your last few sentences I would say you have a gut feeling and you know this is copied behavior and she is upset by the behavior of the older child , so focus on making the relationship between them better, the child with the problem is the jealous one ...