16 year old daughter

[oldmum]

Our daughter has always been outgoing and has made friends well (don't know if this is relivant), but hasn't had a boyfriend yet. Suddenly within the last year she seems to hate being touched.

If you tap her on the shoulder, she will finch away from you. During a bowling game she knocked down all of the pins for the first time, so a group of her friends gave her a celebratory hug and she looked very unconfortable, and almost pushed them away. She will come up to me and give me hugs but then if I come up to her whilst she is say on the computer and touch her hair, she seems to automatically finch away from me.

She won't tell us why, is there anything wrong?

My husband keeps touching her on the shoulders, the hair ect and says that this will stop her doing it. Is this the right thing to do, or will it make it worse?

[April2]

Maybe she's just not real huggy. My daughter is just like that. If I try to give her a hug, she flinches or pulls away or just stands there stiff. But she will come up and give me a hug sometimes. I guess she just has to be ready and in the mood! Teenagers can be kinda moody. I would still give soft touches but not linger. Maybe a pat on the shoulder or quick hug.
It's hard to tell if something in particular happened when she won't talk to you. Just keep talking to her. Keep the communication lines open. Ask her how her day is, what happened, did she meet anyone knew, etc. If this is the only thing that you've noticed that's changed it could just be teenage hormones. You know, sometimes they just don't want to be with their parents. Sometimes they might even think they don't like them very much. It usually passes. I know I was kinda like that as a teenager.
Keep talking to her but don't pressure her. Just let her know you're there for her always and that she can count on you. Best wishes.

[ksanden]

not saying to to make you scared but has she ever been touch in the wrong way. have you ever asked her if anyone has ever done anything to her.
ksanden