4 year old hyper activity

[snadge]

my sister is 30 and she has 3 kids and is single , she has a daughter and two boys - one of the boys is really hyper and she has had enough and really cant cope - he is about 4 year old or something (sorry poor memory im on hep-c treatment)

she says he constantly winds her up and is hyper - he climbs on everything and falls and hurts himself - broken arm not long ago - she awakes to find flooded kitchens etc - stuff like that...

she has had him at Dr's who just say its Behaviour Problems and pass her on to some nurse whos trying to get her/him into a Support Group... she also signed a form to get the younger boy into day care so she can have time away from them Both? (the daughter is at school) - as far as I know the problematic child is supposed to be at pre-school but i dunno if it lasts all day - i know he kicks his heels

....here is a quote from my sister

- "Some of the things he does is constantly climbin i mean 6 to 8ft high, breaks everythin, smashes stuf, hits me and siblings, runs out house tries other people door for their house or car if its open he wil go in, jurt laughs in ur face. doesnt sit stil, hangs off curtains anythin u can think of he wil do. opens upstairs windows wide open hangs out of them!"

i dont get too see her much but talk on facebook -

is there anything she can do? she says she done all the E Numbers with the GP....
is there any meds that can help calm him down?

thanks in advance

[snadge]

thanks for your advice - I told her a year ago when it was all happening then that she should watch what she feeds him and take them too park - she says she done e numbers thing etc and uses sugar free juice but everytime ive been down they eating sweets from shop - everytime she goes to shops she has to buy them sweets - as far as I remember anyway

But I agree with what your saying 100%

She is out on the drink a lot, sometimes 3-4 nights a week and she I think she uses that as a 'vent' for her pent up stress from kids - but as you know this is all self-caused if she not prepared to get out and about with the kids to park and REFUSE them sweets that generally over time they will "slowdown" or at least be burned out and sleepy by 7pm or whatever!

Wished I could do something to help but I cant - I dont live near them and I myself am on chemo-like treatment at moment and have no strength so I cant even step in for her some days which is annoying

[specialmom]

Some 4 year olds are pretty hyper.  What your sister needs to do is just go with it and find some outlets for his energy.  He needs to be outside whenever possible running, climbing, jumping and swinging (very calming).  A park is awesome for this and is free.  The other kids would benefit from this as well.  I think the support group and couseling will be beneficial for your sister as she does sound like she could use the parenting help.  I don't mean to be harsh by that, but she has three children whether she likes it or not and needs to learn to cope.  Just blaming the child won't help her but actually allows her to not do what needs to be done here.  Again, not meaning to be  harsh.  She's the parent and he needs her to help him.

With that said, my child has a developmental delay called sensory integration disorder that looks pretty hyper at times.  Medication will not help.  (and by the way, there is no magic pill that will fix behavior.  It takes lots of work.)  His therapy which has drastically changed behavior involves lots of physical stuff (hence, the park idea for you).  The more active he is, the better his behavior.  They also have early intervention preschools through local school systems in the US.  Your nephew could be evaluated through this.  (but, ADD/ADHD shouldn't be given as a diagnosis until a child is at least 6 as kids before this time are well known for hyperactivity and not being able to focas).  

I wish your sister and nephew all the best and it is kind of you to want to help her.  Good luck to you all.