6 year old daugther acts out dont care what anyone says

[lfw080911]

I have a 6 year old daugther who has anger issues.When she is told no by her daddy or me she doesnt seem to care.Its like she dont understand the word no.I can put her in her room and the corner but the whole time she is there she punches the walls and kicks them she screams on the top of her lungs.If she gets mad in the car while im driving she will unbuckle and stand up in the seat and try to open the door.She tells me i dont love her if she dont get her way.Im scared she will hurt her self one day.She was never like this untill avout 2 years ago she told my grandmother my father was touching her so i called the cops and reported it.i had to take her to some experts and they questioned her but she wouldnt talk to them.I believe my daugther 100% and I hope one day she will tell the right people so my father can be stoped.I dont know what to do anymore she wont listen to anything I say.Please I need HELP

[JEWLSS]

she could have ODD or PTSD

[Sandman2]

   Wow, difficult problem here.  The possible child abuse really does add to the problems and I think some of the above have good suggestions.
   Let me add that you cannot really expect kids to show they care when they are disciplined.  Nor should you care if they don't show it ( in fact if they do, chances are they are faking it).  The whole idea with discipline is to change their behavior.  To do that it takes about 3 weeks of consistent, immediate behavioral reinforcement (timeouts, etc.).  It is very possible that because of what happened to your daughter that you have been a little reluctant to discipline (very understandable) and the consistency has not been there and she has learned from that.  And if she is a smart little girl, she will trial and error very quickly to learn what works for her.  The fact she is saying, " i dont love her if she dont get her way."   Does indicate a certain degree of manipulation on her part.  It always amazes me how quickly kids learn how to ring our bells.    And, of course, if she has been molested then there is a lot more driving this behavior.
   There is a great book called "love and logic" by Fay and Cline which gives a lot of good ideas for changing a childs behavior.
   Also kids really don't know how to express anger.  This can be taught.  There are several sets of books aimed at the 4 to 7 years old group that are meant to be read aloud to them (several/many times) and practiced with them.  A good example would be,"Cool down and work through anger" found here - http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_b_5    and you will find other good suggestions as you scroll down the page.
    Finally, she is 6.  Was she in school or pre school this year.  Did the teachers have similar problems with her anger?   Hope some of this helps.  Best wishes.

[Sandman2]

   Not sure who you are responding to?  Ifw never mentioned corporal punishment and really not sure there is any abuse of power going on from her post.  But if you are responding to Ifw, a child psychologist is a good idea as child abuse is very difficult to deal with by yourself.

[samari10]

honesty i don't believe in corportal punishment and i don't believe that's the way to get through to your kid. If you can't sit down and talk to her to make her understand you' you need to go to a child psychologist to teach you how to talk to her . I was able to talk to my son and we didn't have this abuse of power going on........ perhaps maybe perhaps you too are abusing your power, it's not a lot of fun if parent's are always saying no no no and maybe as a result of not enough positive role playing, like museums and libraries and swimming and things that you do together as a family. You're child is screaming out for help!!! Don't get mad and punish her, get her the help that she needs from a trained professional.  

[Nighthawk61]

Great answer adgal, don't allow the experts to dismiss you, you will find a therapist that gives this the required attention if you keep fighting for your little girl. You must control you child for her own safety. You need family counseling asap so that your little girl understands that you must say no, first for her safely, but secondly to set appropriate borders for her, so she can grow into a happy adult.  It seems to be a trust issue. she choosing not to trust the adults in her life. This is collateral damage to the abuse that she has suffered and is a good indication that it did happen.  I'm glad that you trusted your instinct and provided support for her when it happened.  Unfortunately she would not admit it to authorities, YET, you must get her to the point that she does admit it to authorities so that your father can be charged in some way so that it is at least on his record. You have a duty to do that. That being said, i'm so sorry that your father is like he is. I'm glad that you never experienced any of this when you were younger yourself. I remember when i allowed my 18 month old son into my abusive (physically) father's presence, just once, and what did he do, hauled off and slapped him right out of his high chair , in a restaurant. I wish i had of charged him~~ nobody ever did, and he went to his grave never reaching his bottom, never knowing what he actually was responsible for. I wish i could have been the one to help him recognize his flaws for his own good. Maybe he could have gotten help. But, i would never allow my child to be the guinea pig again!!! Best wishes to you. I'll add you to my watch list in case you ever feel like talking. This is going to take the long haul to get this straightened out, please know that if you reach out here there will be people for you. If you wish to send a personal message you can do that too. I'll answer your message. But, please feel free to vent as much as you can, i'm sure that it will help.

[adgal]

If her grandfather was touching her innapropriately, then chances are she needs help to deal with the emotions around such an event.  I have seen a lot of very very angry kids who had been touched or molested.   Heck, even adults don't deal well with sexual abuse.  I am so glad you believe her.  I'm sure she knows that, but in my opinion she needs more help then you can provide right now.  Don't allow the "experts" to dismiss you.  Get her help and keep fighting until they do.  I feel so sad for her and am glad she has a strong momma who stands up for her.  Keep going until someone is willing to help her.  All the best to you.