Does my 7 year old daughter truly hate me ? Or is this manipulation ?

[Avalau]

     I am a single mother of a newly 7 year old daughter who is also an only child . Her father's involvement in her life is currently and since she has been a year old is maybe once a month and the longest length of time he has had no contact was for a 4 month period . Just giving you a bit of background info . My daughter and I moved in with my parents 2 years ago due to addiction issues . I put myself into detox a few days after her 3rd birthday but she and I at the time lived alone ( only her 1 year of life her daddy lived with us ) very comfortably in a beautiful rental home on the water . Due to my previous addiction I was finacially bankrupt . I have my own business and have for 22 years and currently . My financial situation is currently back where it's suppose be and even more . I am recovered now but her father is actively using and lives in an enviourment not suited for children . He and I get along good , and I do whatever I have to do to insure that she has some contact with him but always I am present . Although she is only 7 I am as honest as I can be in explaining her fathers illnes . She loves her daddy and only encourage contact .  With that said ,,My daughter is a very well behaved , polite , well mannered child . Still wetting the bed . 3 times or do a week . And in the last maybe year or so she gradually has been using manipulation ( I think ) to control her surroundings . She manipulates me to the degree that I think she hates me . She tells me all the time that she wishes she had a better mother , she won't go to sleep , she majes me lay next to her for at least 11/2 until she falls asleep . She is angry at me often . It just aweful to go threw the abuse of her every night guilting me ? She is very spoiled but like I said she is do good except for when it comes to wanting all of me all of the time 100%. Even get very angry if nice to her friend ? Her cousin? , my mother , anyone that I  even spend time with ? I work but am very good at balancing both .  Am I thst evil ? Does she have abandommet issues , anxiety , or is she just a spoiled brat..   Lost ??

[Avalau]

Thsnk you for responding , I do not and have not had a boyfriend since she was born . I am very aware of the consequences in doing so due to having a pernicious mother myself growing up.  I am though ready to find someone to share my life with . Reading my post may give the perception of my character not be be stable but I am smart , very conscious of my surroundings and a very attentive parent. I appreciate your thoughts and advice..

[AnnieBrooke]

I really mean it about you not having boyfriends.  That's all it would take to throw her a huge life curveball.

[AnnieBrooke]

I vote for abandonment issues in the sense that the people she would ordinarily have grown up relying upon were not there at key times in her life (you due to addiction, and your husband pretty much all the time).  That would make any child anxious.  Whether or not she will grow out of it with your newfound sobriety it will probably take a while.  I'd let her sleep with me (so I can get some sleep) and give her as much reassurance as possible.  No boyfriends, but it is OK to be kind to others that you love, such as your mother or your nieces and nephews.  How stable of a routine have you developed?  It seems to me you are not there yet, if you see the anxieties of a child (who has valid reasons to feel anxious) as attempts at manipulation and being spoiled.  She is more likely really fearful.