7 yr old has screaming fits

[MyBoyz]

I have a 7 yr old son who suddenly will begin screaming when things don’t go his way. It has been causing quite a bit of trouble at school I was told by close outside observers that I consistently am giving him too much attention so when he doesn’t get that very focused attention he becomes very frustrated. Example, I was on the phone the other night to my sister. Usually when my son comes up and asks a question she says I stop what I am doing and answer him, hence i get the spoiled comments. Well I decided to see what would happen if I asked him to wait. First time he said ok and quietly walked away. Two mins later he returns with the same question, I ask him to wait till I’m off the phone. He huffs and stomps away (which he knows will upset the neighbor down stairs). 3 mins later he returns (at this point I’m almost done talking) and I calmly ask him to wait once again. He throws his paper he was working on across the room, stomps on the floor, growling the whole time and starts screaming. I get off the phone, and tell him to go to his room. He says with defiance NO. I pick him up and take him and set him on his bed explaining that when he calms down he may come out and we will talk. I walk out and he grabs the detachable stairs on his bunk bed and begins banging on the floor while screaming. Unable to ignore that I walk back in and in a still calm but firm voice I tell him to stop. He screams NO, and continues to scream and telling me it’s my fault. These episodes have been happening since he was a young child I would say about 4 or 5. They usually last about 30 mins to an hr depending on wither I can distract him or not. The last two weeks they have gotten worse. He has asthma and it’s that time of season. I find that if it’s not sleep or a cold, they tend to occur more in asthma season of course that is if its not just being spoiled. I would like to think it’s that simple but I fear the worst. What advice can you give with what little information I can give?

[stassy]

This all sounds so familiar!!! My daughter freaks if she has to do something she doesn't want to do. We don't know how to handle it. She hits my husband (her stepfather) and throws chairs around and just freaks. I don't know how to handle it. I hold her if she is hurting herself or others, ( mostly her stepdad) and otherwise I let her go. When she does this, she is not herself. She doesn't seem able to stop. She can't be reasoned with.

  This morning she was getting ready for school and it was going well. She was visiting with the boy I take care of who is the same age. Then it was time to go. She asked me to check for spiders in her shoes and my husband leaned over and asked if they were Michaels. Well that ruined it! She freaked because obviously her shoes look boyish. I tried to get her to put on her black boots, but she wasn't wearing any black so it wouldn't match!!!

  She freaked and then my husband ( against what I wanted ) held her down and forced her boots on and then forced her to the car. She got out and pounded on the door, which he had locked. I was ticked with my husband too, and so I got in the car and dropped off the other kid, and then drove around with her and came home. She stayed home. When she makes up her mind I can't make her do anything. I am a very good parent, she gets a lot of attention, and we do lots of family things. The thing is if I had forced her into the school she would have been screaming and I can't take that!

I feel like our marriage is in jeapordy and we haven't been married for a year yet!!!  I love my husband dearly, but we are at our wits end and are no longer in agreement about how to deal with her, We are in line for family counselling with a psychiatrist and still searching for answers.

[highmaintenancekids]

Hello There,
Please look into several (not just one) websites that discuss Asperger Syndrome.  You may be very surprised.  My son is gifted with ADHD and Asperger Syndrome.  I know what you are going through.  We were compensating for his behavior for years not realizing it.  Heard all the he is spoiled, etc. etc.  Please check into for your sanity and his, nothing lost if you don't think he has the symptoms.  They don't have to have every single symptom to have it.  They are so inflexible in their thinking, and once they go into the meltdown, they can't pull themselves out of it.  My son started to become so depressed because of being so angry all the time and getting into trouble at school and home.  Now he is doing fantastic because of the right diagnosis, medications, and appropriate behavioral interventions.  We can still have some issues due to the inflexibility of his thinking, but it is still way better than where we were a few years ago.  

Good luck to you.

PS.  Don't listen to family, friends, or the school until you do your own research, and find the right child pyschiatrist, not a pediatrician.

[babygirl6152]

Is he taking Albuterol as I do - during asthma season?

That stuff even makes calm little me into a nutty wiggle worm-  I have seen the most well mannered children climb the walls on Albuterol (Proventil) to the point where we as parents, we'll even give one last look at the spoon full of medicine and ask "IS it worth it?" He will surely go nuts" I had to give it to my child a few times and YES it is worth it because he breathes better and he feels better in the long run. I did notice when he was old enough to take an inhaler form of Albuterol that the sided effects diminished quite a bit.

Other than that- I would say these sort of outbursts are totally unacceptable. SO if he is "spoiled" as you say- you are the perfect mom to fix it- because you sound wonderful- Just my 2 cents.

[margypops]

I note you said you' decided to wait to see what happened,' this sounds as if you were expecting an out burst and were in fact feeding it,and would know it was going to get out of hand ,the best way would be to say to him: I am busy I will be off the phone in 10mins (set a time) and stick to it, tell your sister your son needs you to help him, but you have set the time frame. Tell your son that the time will be that and then carry on with your conversation. Reading your Post I feel there is some need for better Parent/child interaction.The banging of the Stairs to his bunk bed sounds like a lot of frustration going on, as he is in a bunk bed has he a sibling?