Behavior

[zaza256]

I have a 4 year old boy who is shy around people he does not know . He is not doing well recently at the creche  his behavior has changed. He is so shy and scared to go the creche refused to talk to the teacher he cries a lot at creche and does not talk much ,differnt story at home joyfull kid will tell me what they did at creche He likes reading at coluring read out loud but at creche is a defferent story  now they cant give me a progress report because he cries all the time

[margypops]

This is not good for your boy zaza my honest opinion is that you take him out of the school if the principal wont change the class or teacher,this teacher should not be with young children.I am glad you realise and know now what is happening to him, this is demeaning and belittling, it is called Bullying this teacher is out of control..Please speak to the principal of this place and if they can't or wont do anything then remove him to a better place.Reasure him as he will be feeling bad,you are a good mom doing all she can for her child .let us know how he is doing ...

[zaza256]

My son does use bathroom by himself and can eat bu himself but I was told that last week he wet himself when asked to stand up he does have friend at the creche he said they laugh at him it hurts me a lot

[zaza256]

My 4year old is the only child he does have friends at home and my sisters kids when he's from the daycare he will tell me everthing that they did. like today at the creche we were doing shapes and he will ask for the book and will do it together again he likes to read  a lot. learning to write but when he is at the daycare he's asked to do anything he just freeze and cry and other children will start laughing at him.she is so afraid of the teacher . I asked the teacher to try and bulid the relationship with him  becuase she said she could see that my boy is so afraid of her First he would ask my son to sit close to her,second they will do one on one section with him until he again confident and trust again my part would be to insure him that his teacher loves him and he is only teaching him and that he must trust him. today he went with his book to the creche to read to the teacher and he said he will do that and I spoke to the teacher too to try that today. MY OPINION I THINK THE TEACHER SCREAM AT HIM AND EMBARRASED HIM BY LETTING OTHER KIDS LAUGH AT HIM SHE EVEN WENT FAR AND TOOK HIM TO SMALL CHILDREN CLASS HE WILL LEAVE HIM THERE IF HE DOES NOT SPEAK TO HER I THINK THAT BREAKS MY SON SPIRIT

[margypops]

My opinion ..stands .....your post to me did not seem like 'severe anxiety" for one thing as I pointed out you could find out what is happening at the day care as this is where he is unhappy ,in fact you say he is a happy child at home ..The other point maybe that he misses you if he is at daycare many hours . Has he any siblings ? ..

[jdtm]

In my opinion being shy does not make for an anxiety problem as many children are shy ..

margypops - the difference between being shy and anxiety is function.  Shy children can function in social settings; children with anxiety cannot function in social settings.  The poster said that her son is not speaking to the teacher, cries all of the time and is a totally different child in the home.  This child is not functioning in the school setting  (according to both the poster and the teacher).  Shy children, although perhaps hesitantly, are able to speak, interact and play and enjoy school.  My guess is that this little boy is also not able to use the washroom or even eat while at school - the total body freezes and shuts down.

The seriousness of anxiety is that if a child is hurt or ill or in danger, he would not be able to get help.  Children with anxiety simply "freeze".  I personally know of a child who broke his leg while at school - did not even cry and never mentioned to anyone the incident until he arrived at home.  Another little girl almost drowned in a public swimming pool because she got in the deep end - unable to even cry "help".  Two small children from our support group got on the wrong bus and rode around several times before the bus driver noticed that the child never disembarked.  If a stranger abducted or even approached a child with severe anxiety, the child would do and say nothing.  Anxiety is serious and needs to be treated.  Hope this helps clear up some misconceptions ....

[margypops]

I would find out what happens at the creche, thats a day care I think ...do they play with the children are the children stimulated enough ,this teacher he doesnt like , why ,ask him what happensthere, how many hours is he in Day care .?In my opinion being shy does not make for an anxiety problem as many children are shy ..

[jdtm]

Your posting sounds like severe anxiety - the behaviour of "not talking" is the main criteria for Selective Mutism.  I might suggest you google the site "selectivemutism.org" and read the FAQs to see if the descriptions remind you of your son.  If so, then pull down the tab "Find Help" and read the information listed.  There is also lots and lots of information under the tabe "Resources" which should again offer some insight and advicde.  Please don't be hesitant about taking your son to your family doctor as early intervention is very important.  Children who are selectively mute suffer from severe anxiety, but with proper help the outlook is excellent.  All the best ...