Behaviour

[Hebburnlass]

Hi all, I'm looking on a bit help here, my son is 7 be 8 this year he's such hard work & has been from the age of 3. The older he's getting the worse he's getting. I just can't control him at all. Daily he calls me & his step dad fattys tells us to shut our big fat ugly faces he tells his sister to zip it bare in mind she's not even two yet he rips his homework up he won't eat anything if he doesn't decide on what we have if he decides on what to eat he eats more then us but it shouldn't be that way he should eat what gets put down. He spits all over my house in our faces. He nips bites punches & kicks us he's bust his step dads nose twice now. He slams doors kicks doors walls toys. Threats to break his sisters toys all the time. He got an Xbox & a tv for Xmas & he throws things at them he's picked Xbox up and dropped it on the floor if we go out in the car he refuses to put his belt on he hits us while we're driving he try's to get out the car while we're driving we even put child locks on back doors but he try's windows. He refuses point blank to tidy the mess he makes after his temper. Nothing works at all iv tried everything I do t like smacking but I have smacked his bum a few times & he just laughs at us. Night time he refuses to go to bed or even sleep I get him up for school 7am Monday to Friday but he doesnt settle until after one every night. I'm fisically drained his sister try's to copy as well. Iv been to doctors & have been going from age 4 but I'm just not getting anywhere I do know for defo he has learning difficulties but it's the behaviour side I'm really struggling with. I just don't know what's wrong with him & I feel like I'm failing as a mother feel like I can't cope I cry daily because of him & often wonder if he's going to be like this when he's olderhe just doesn't have respect for us at all. Is there anything I can do

[Hebburnlass]

I have another caf next week see what comes of that then I will be ringing docs again I need something done desperately I'm losing patience now. It's not doing my son any good or me. It stresses me out and makes me anxiousness all the time. Thanks for your help tho x

[skepticalpeach]

If you aren't happy with the progress his doctors and therapists are making tell them that, calmly. If that doesn't change anything go find a new doctor. Don't give up!

[Sandman2]

   Sleep is extremely important.  Definitely try the melatonin.
   You need to find out what is going on at school.  Sit down and talk with his teacher.  A doctor will never help you unless you can show problems going on in two places.  He has now been at school long enough that the teacher should have a good idea what is going on.  Then find a good child psychologist and get him tested.

[Hebburnlass]

Iv took everything away from him that he tries to brake but he doesn't care. Iv spoke to the doctor about everything but not getting anywhere with it ATM I'm going through children & young people service & school nurse & doctors plus other professional help but I don't seem to be getting any where at all. Its horrible to say but sometimes I feel like giving up with discipline as I just can't control him. This behaviour is an every day thing for him he may have an hour of being good but it does never last long x

[skepticalpeach]

If he is throwing things at his tv and Xbox you should just simply take them away, immediately. He should only get privileges if he is being good. He doesn't seem to understand that there are consequences for his actions.

The sleep loss will definitely affect his behavior. Have you spoken to his doctor about this? There are no pediatric sleep medications but your doctor could help you figure out a good sleep routine and melatonin dose. Have you thought about seeking private therapy for him? He sounds like he needs a lot of one on one help.

[Hebburnlass]

He has ups & downs in school sometimes try's to push the teacher too far. He's not as bad in school to what he is at home. He's only just moved school 5months ago he likes this school better then the last one. The last school had real problems but wouldn't admit to the people at our car meetings. They described him as perfect, my argument was how can a school describe a boy perfect when they pulled me in every other day about fighting my final straw was he stabbed a little boy in the hand with scissors then cut the boys jumper! How could they say he's perfect?! Iv been having behaviour troubles from him being 3 things have only got worse & I feel totally useless not knowing what's wrong or how I can help him with the problem. Sleeping isn't any good at all he's only just fell asleep & it's 2am we have 5 hours to sleep. It's getting beyond a joke. Thanks for replying x

[RockRose]

How does he do in school - does he behave there?

It's really hard to tell what's going on with him - whether he is angry about his life,  or is repeating things that have been said to him,  or whether he might have a mental illness or behavior disorder.

Is his biological father mentally ill?