9 YO daughter

[ace45]

I need to know how to discipline my 9yo.  If she is told no, she screams and yells and says please dont hurt me even though we arent even touching her.  I am in fear that the wrong people will hear her and the police will come and take us always even though we dont hit her. We discipline her by putting her in the corner or take things away for her or ground her. When she is told no on something she is a completly different child.  She is great in school no problems with her there, at her sporting event she give 100%.  I praise her when she is good with a one on one thing or family (my husand , my son, her and myself) like walking at the beach or taking a walk  in the neighborhood or playing cards.  I dont know what to do with her....she is mean to her friends but they keep coming back, her brother who is 2 years younger then her is so mad at her he wants to trade her in for a new sister.  How sad is that?  I love my daughter uncondtionally but Im losing my mind.  I start to blame myself where did i go wrong....Up until lasst year she just started really hugging us.  I hug my kids and tell them how much i am glad they are my kids and tell them I am proud of them every day.  I try to complement them everyday because I feel that is important.  Please tell me what to do for the sake of both of my kids.  I dont want to lose hwe when she gets older.
Thanks

[margypops]

PS Just a thought is she copying any friends have they "smart Mouths' Children do like to copy especially if it seems cool or clever, how do her friends speak to their Moms , have you  heard. perhaps time to listen to the girls and thier attitude.

[margypops]

You sound very loving and caring in your Post, I doubt if you will ever lose your Daughter,you are really trying, I wonder if you are trying too hard, kind of overkill, how about you take a step back and when she yells and misbehaves treat it with nonchalence, dont respond to her, sometimes parents and kids get into a war of who can win.Before she yells things like' No dont hurt me' walk away, what triggers the out bursts see if you can ignore her before they start.Standing her in a corner is okay ,its the time out system and I know that can work, make sure she stays there till she is quiet and says sorry,if she is mean to her friends dont have them to your house till she is nice ,less words and more consistancy is the key here.