12 year old suddenly pooping in pants

[Tryin_My_Best]

I am beyond frustrated.  My 12 son suddenly began pooping in his underwear!  It did not begin here.  This issue first began about 10 -11 months ago when he stole a couple of diapers and actually pooped in them.  He tried to hide/dispose of them.  When confronted he seemed smug and would try to find humor in the incident.  I immediately sought couselling and seen the family physician.  (My son is ADHD & is on medication that has been very successful through the years).  Both professionals assured me that this was a short term thing and figured the incidents would not occur again - however it did.  He even pooped on the floor of a public bathroom.  Again we seen the doctor and continued with the counselling.  Again I was told that this was not my son's character and it would stop.  Out of frustration, I no longer took him to the home where he was stealing the diapers.  Then about 3 weeks ago I found hidden underwear that had been pooped in but the poop had been removed.  I am constantly paranoid and worried about his behaviors.  I am always rushing home after work so that he is not alone and so he cannot do such things.  I am scared to have him around places where he has access to diapers out of fear that he will again use diapers.  I have had numerous conversations with him and he continually assures me he stopped.  I have tried being patient and supportive to the best of my ability.  Finally with the last episodes, I handed him his soiled clothes and made him wash them and put him in charge of laundry duty explaining that I had potty-trained him when he was two and that I was not going to clean up his mess.   My son has never had bed wetting issues, he has never had accidents, and has never presented such a concern.

I feared abuse of some sorts, but with all professionals and myeself, he claims that nothing has ever happened.  His father and I divorced when he was about 4 and both of us are remarried.  His father and wife have 3 sons of their own and my husband and I have no children.  My son resides with my husband and I however visits his father for the weekend every second week as well as shared holidays.  Both his fathers family and my husband and I have a great relationship and often visit for an hour or so when weekend visits occur.  We try very hard to work together and support each other in all issues including discipline.

I am at my wits end and no longer know how to handle the situation.  My son has already began puberty.  He does fairly well academically and has quite a few friends.  He is very athletic and plays soccer and football at school.  He has been struggling a little more recently with solving conflicts with his peers since he seems to blow things out of proportion and is oversensitive to having his feelings hurt.  His teachers tell me that he shows no behaviors that are really much different from many of the other boys other than him taking things so personal.

Does this mean there is something mentally wrong with my son?  Are these behaviors a possible phase?  They are very disturbing to me especially since my son and I have always emphasized hygiene and a clean home.  I am so worried about him but feel so powerless on how to help him!

[Joshthehelper]

Your son id doing the same thing i did when i was his age. Sadly its s tough thing to get rid of. My mom had to actually buy and diaper me for like a month and after that i had no intrest in them. So thats my suggestion. You should try that see if it works. Apparently for me it was some sort of weird mental fixation that i had to fufill to get rid of. So try that but if it is something bathroom related. Seek a urologist soon. I been to one recently being 25 it helped reasure i was fine

[phil20]

I don't think something is mentally wrong with your son. I think he's just trying to get some attention from you. Maybe his diaper addiction is to have attention from you. Diapering  is a kind of attention the parents give to their children when they are young! Maybe that's what your son is looking for. Maybe is it because of the separation of his father and yourself ? Kids can sometimes be really affected after a separation. He's trying to find some love out of there!! I think you should talk to your son, be with him more often, and try to be interested by what he does, what he likes, etc. That's what I think. Maybe is it a problem too ? Maybe your son has a poopy problem but doesn't want to tell you ? He might be shy to tell you! That would explain why he is stealing diapers and why he is pooping in his underwear ? Then you should visit a doctor to make sure it's not a problem. And if it is, then you might have to diaper your son ? At that age it's not easy! You'll have to talk to him about that, and if he would agreed to be diapered. Or maybe is it just a fantasy ? Who knows...  I hope this helps! If you want more help or just talk about anything, just message me at : ***@**** !

Phil