2 yr old daugther

[Polly1014]

Is it normal for toddlers to allow other children to touch them in private areas? My daughter allows my son, who is younger than she is, (he isn't walking yet) to touch her private areas. Is this behavior normal, since they are curious and learning what body parts they have? Should I be concerned?

[Sandman2]

   So if I understand you correctly, while you were watching, your 10 month old son touches your two year old daughters private parts.  First your son has no idea what he is doing and I doubt that your daughter does either.  And since you are watching, you can certainly stop that .  But since both are fully clothed, and neither of them have any clue what is going on - I would not worry about it at all.

[Polly1014]

Well unlike some parents, I am able to be at home with my children 24/7 and I  watch everything they do whether it's during playtime or even during meal time. There is not one minute that goes by without my children being supervised.

[Polly1014]

No I'm not describing a scenario of my child getting naked, if so, I would have stated that in my question post.

[Polly1014]

Well she is fully clothed 24/7. You can touch someone buttocks and/or vagina, while they are fully clothed.

[Polly1014]

My child is fully clothed.

[Sandman2]

    Along with RockRose's questions.  How do you even know this is going on?  A two year old is not the most communicative adapt witness.  What did she say?

[RockRose]

In rereading this original post,  I'm curious about the particulars.  Your daughter should be clothed during the day while she's playing,  so how is this baby even getting access to her private parts?  And what "two" private parts does she have?

When you say should she be "allowing" the baby to touch her private parts I'm having a hard time imagining how a baby could have access to them with out her actually initiating the whole thing by getting naked and placing his hands there.  Is that the scenario you're describing?

[allmymarbles]

What they are doing is normal but not socially acceptable. When they are together, or with others of their ages, keep them clothes and supervised. With mild reminders and prevention they will stop doing it.

[RockRose]

Polly,  when you say your daughter goes over to relatives houses, does that mean you leave her there for extended periods of time?   Don't do that.  If you want to visit for an afternoon that might be okay,  but don't drop her off and think all will be well.

[Polly1014]

I do monitor my children during play time of course since I have a 10 month old. They are always getting into everything so I have to be alert while they play. I don't tell my son that it's the area is 'no,no' because he is so young and does not know what he's touching. So I tell my daughter that no one is to touch the area and that it's no, no. But nothing seems to work or help. But my daughter does go over a relatives house (sister-in-law) and they have older children, 7 (girl) and 10 or 11 (boy). I don't think that their play time isn't always supervised because we have had a problem of my daughter displaying disgusting dance moves in which she learned from the 7 year old daughter. We discussed it and the mother (sister-in-law) didn't know anything about it.

[specialmom]

Do you monitor them during play time?  Why aren't you telling the younger child who is under the age of 2 (?) no as well?  I had two sons that are 15 months apart and age and I remember when they were 2 and 1, I monitored all the time and set boundaries for both.  I guided them in what was okay and not.  If one of my sons touched another, I'd say no no and then both children would know it isn't allowed.

I wasn't thinking sexual abuse at first unless she has had alone time with older kids that this could have occurred with her in the role as your younger child.  

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, she's two and he's even younger so I doubt it is anything is 'going on'.  However, you can begin to set a boundary and redirect her.  NO one touches there.  So, put a stop to it but don't make a big deal out of it.  good luck

[Polly1014]

I've given her multiple consequences for this behavior, but it doesn't seem to work or help the behavior. During play time, she allows him to touch both of her private areas. Would there be any signs of sexual abuse in which I should be able to see? I stay at home with my children and I haven't seen any physical signs of sexual abuse, but I am not sure if anything ever occurred.  

[MarkLakewood3367]

I think that you need to teach your daughter proper boundaries by giving her a consequence the next time this behaviour occurs.  If this behavior continues even after consequenting the behavior, you might want to have her evaluated by a mental health professional to rule out sexual abuse.