toddler masturbation

[dido45]

My little girl is 4 1/2 years old.  She started rubbing her self against the car seat belt and on little seat at the day care when she was about 20 months old.  She started doing that right after i was applying a cream her doctor prescribed to put on her outside her genital.  She didn't have an oponing so i had to put it on her daily for about a year.  I stopped the cream after she was okay and the area opened up.   She continued to do that.  At home she lies on the her stomach, put her both her hands between her legs on her private area and masturbates. She stops when I catch her.  I told her not to that because it's not appropriate and little girls are not supposed to do that.  I asked her why does she do that, she says I like it.   Is this sexual?   Is this normal? I get very mad when I see her doing that.  Im really worried.  Should I do something about? telling her not to do that is not helping.

[electricstorm]

If you tell her that masterbating is bad and not for little girls to do that could be detrimental to her later sexuality. She may also see it as having to do with being a girl, that it's something boys can do. I used to do that for stress relief. I may have started it because of sexual abuse, but I doubt it as I was sodomised not really fondled much. I think it's a stress release. I would tell her that it is something private to do in her bedroom. Not because it's bad, but because it's something that is personal for her and no one elses buisness. My Dad put twin beds in my room and if I did it behind the second one even if someone opened the room I wouldn't be embarassed. Later when I felt confused and bad about it he told me that I just started younger than most people, but everybody does that. He said he doesn't know anyone who doesn't they might say they have never done it but most likely it's a lie. When I got caught again when I was 12 and was very embarrassed and upset as I then saw it as a sexual thing. Later Dad came back and told me not to be upset and that he wasn't mad at me. He laughed saying thats the safest sex you can ever have. I hope thats all your doing when your 16. I have had many relationships, but due to Dad's frank words and advise I am 24 and have never had a child. I'm not ready and I know how to protect myself. Despite years of abuse from my stepfather thanks to my Dad and Stepmom I can have a normal sex life. Also my mom had a word to say to me when I was very little and got nervous and masterbated without thinking about it. It was 'orange' but you could come up with any word. When mom would say that I would stop and not be too embarassed nor would the company present.

[margypops]

I agree that some of this is normal curiosity ,if it becomes excessive and has formed a habit maybe get her checked out again, otherwise play it down, if anyone ever suspects child abuse, ask the child specific questions as if you simply say, has anyone touched you there ,they nearly always say no or I dont know ,sometimes the perpetrator tells them no one would believe them or they'd be in trouble. to Linda  how was the old boyfriend good to her did he buy stuff or take her out?

[Angelinthemorning]

I have a 2 year old who has shown interest in her "who who" since about 15 months old.  We were told by our doc it is normal b/c it feels good, and it's just like any other body part.  They stick fingers up nose, eat their toes, etc.  
I personally would not tell her "don't do that".  Here's what we've done and it seems to be working...
If you see her doing it, explain to her that she needs to do it in private (her bedroom).  Also, be sure to tell her it is her's. This lets her know it's something only she can touch like that. Hence the name "whowho" for our daughter since she's only two.
I'm sure she'll forget but, if she does just gently remind her she needs to go to her room to do that.  We've found most the time our daughter doesn't want to leave the area we're in and she just stops.
Children are naturally curious about everything and although this can be shocking, I wouldn't worry unless it becomes excessive.  Or starts causing problems at daycare.

[linda633]

It's me again, Linda. My granddaughter does the same thing. Mostly i noticed when she's in trouble and sent to her room. She's been doing it for a couple of years. It got better for a while, but been noticing she started again. Not as often tho. Mom has new boyfriend and she has Never liked him. Misses the old boyfriend who was really good to her.Dad was out of picture for a couple of years. Now the every other week-end thing.She also has eczema, which i've tried everything for! Dr. says she'll probally outgrow that too.I think it is a stress factor.what do you think? Thanks, Linda

[dido45]

Her dad and I are divorced for 2 years now.  We have mentioned to the doctor and he said not to worry about it because it's just a temporarly thing.  He asked who lives in the house besides the three of us.  It was just us.  Now it's just me and her.  She doesn't do that at school because's she embarrassed.  I had asked her and she always tell me that she doesn't do it there. (I had talked to teachers to monitor and let me know). Nothing so far.  Her dad had to buy a different carseat that doesn't have the belt between the legs.  he also talked to her about it and she said to him that likes doing that because it feels good.    I was told not to worry about it as long as there's no sexual abuse(i'm positive there isn't).  she doesn't do it everyday. never in front of people. Im monitoring that. but it just bothers me because it's too early for that experiment.

[margypops]

If it is excessive I would take her to see your Doctor as there may be other factors, does she go to school or day care ,ask the teachers how she is doing there, has she any of these behaviors when she is at school. What else happens in her life does she have visitation with her Dad if you arent together ,Family etc give us some more information about her life.