A father masturbating in front of his 19 month old son.

[atmen7]

I had a situation with my daughters now ex-boyfriend, who lived with us including there 19 month old son. My husband had come out from the bedroom to find the boyfriend masturbating in the living on the couch, watching porn on his cell phone. The problem with this is his 19 month old was playing three feet away from him. My husband was shocked but really not sure if what he saw was what he saw. My husband grabbed the baby and put a movie in the bedroom to keep the baby from being in the room with not being sure. Well, being a 19 month old and active, the baby tires of the movie and runs out into the living room. My husband right behind the baby rounds the corner to find the boyfriend again masturbating and watching porn. Then again grabs the baby being sure of what he saw this time and keeps the baby in the room. This happened again a third time. My husband not sure what to do informed me of the situation when I got home. I then informed my daughter of her boyfriends actions with his child in the room.
Long story short, we kicked him out, made a report, and was slapped in the face to find the detective dropping the charges. The detective compared this to a mother or father taking a bath with there child. I know this isn't right. More ought to be done. Not even a indecent exposure ticket. Scott free, and come to find out he is trying to file for custody of my grandson. We are in the process of getting her full custody, and trying to have supervised visitation set up for him. I guess my question is they made us feel like we were over reacting. What should we do? And should we keep pursuing charges?    

[margypops]

You are not over reacting, absolutely bad behavior whilst a child is in the room apart from the point of why was he not giving the child full attention.This is an old thread now but I hope you did pursue it, it  says a lot about the kind of person he is to be able to do this with a child there .

[mumsie351]

Oh you are SO over reacting.  The 19month old doesn't see the masturbation as sexual. I went through a period where I was wearing a strap-on under my clothes all the time and our family doctor said to let my daughter see it.  She was 3 at the time.

[CharityHall]

WOW. You are absolutely doing the right thing here!!!! That kind of behaviour is completely unacceptable in front of a child!! The issues, confusions, and problems that can arise from a situation like this can be so very damaging (emotionally and physically) to a young kid who isn't NEARLY old enough to have any healthy understanding of anything of a sexual nature...  I am outraged that the detective just dropped the case like it was nothing at all!  This is a small child we are talking about here! And people wonder why some kids grow up to have severe sexual disorders, addictions, and behavioral problems! I mean seriously!

[Ashelen]

I agree 100% with aid821...this is inappropriate and most likely damaging...keep pursuing charges and push until something gets done. tell your daughter to stand up for her baby and look for a legal advocate...someone who deals with these cases and knows how the law works (to work WITH a lawyer) who can protect the child's interests.

[aid821]

you are NOT over-reacting! and yes keep pursuing the charges. That kind of behaviour is definitley innappropriate in front of a child. God only knows what might happen if he does get custody of him.