My 8 year old pees her pants during the day

[Fejrednal]

My 8 year old daughter frequently wets herself because she does not want to stop what she is doing to go to the bathroom.  She has done it at school, at home, at friends homes, pretty much anywhere she is.  It does not happen all the time.  When my wife and I question her she says she just couldn't hold it.  Any suggestions?

[mummyoftwo747]

it is reassuring to know it is not just us going through this, tried lots with my nearly 7 year old daughter who seems to leak urine through the day, not a full pee so that her trousers are wet etc usually but very strong smelling damp knickers at the end of the day. just been looking for advice, took her to the doctors who thought she was fine and will grow out of it, she does get thrush often and I often suspect urine infections because of how strong dmelling her urine is and that her skin is often burnt by leaked urine. just been given cream to soothe these issues. Have been told we can get a mat with an alarm to help her realise when she has peed at night as dr believes it is just that she is a deep sleeper that she wets at night and this might help establish a routinem will let you know if it helps but dont see how it will benefit during the day, we have also been told to get her to ;double void' so she goes to the toilet then goes again after 5 minutes to make sure she fully emptied as may stop when desperate urge has gone and rush off without waiting til fully finished, hard to make sure she has sat on for long enough, though I ask her to sit on the loo when she has finished and think of a chorus of a song before standing up and wiping. hope these things are helping but damp knickers still a regular occurance. As for poop accidents, she never has these but my cousin who i was close to growing up did, her mum tried everything, once even losing it and chasing hitting her with a carrier bag full of tins because she had done it for the second time that day, Sometimes we could tell she needed to go because of the way she held herself but either she wouldnt, or sometimes she would and her mum would make her sit there for half an hour crying, then she would still have an accident later. her mum made her stay on there for hours sometimes because she wanted to be able to praise her for going on the toilet and wondered if it was a phobia and tried to break it. anyway it turns out that all the rewards and punishment, sticks of liqourice and beatings in the world wouldnt have helped because it finally got taken seriously by the doctors when she was at high school (her mum had taken her regularly about it up to then but was told no problem or mildly constipated, hence the liquorice) and it turned out that she needed an operation which stretched her anus, it had been really hard for her to go and extremely painful up to then but she hadnt been able to know that that wasnt the same for everyone because it had always been that way, so because it was painful and hard to get it out she had to wait for her body to force it out, the pain caused the stance that made us know she needed to go but even then she hadnt had control over when it came, after a small operation and 3 days in hospital her life was changed, she went from nervous girl to confident adult. Her mum felt awful about what she had put her through, but then she didnt know the problem and didnt want her stinky dirty and bullied and couldnt understand why she couldnt control it and blamed her own parenting for it happening. Because of this I dont want to punish my daughter or make it a huge issue if she really cant help it but I am keen to know if there are real causes for this leaking and to do what I can to solve it for her.

[mstek]

This sounds just like my daughter....Has the situation improved...please give me some hope, because I am at a loss and feel hopeless

[katie0997]

To everybody on here:  When I was 8 years old, I started wetting my pants in school.  I have no idea why I did it, but other children in my class started to too.  My mom had a feeling it was because our teachers started asking us to "hold it" until they were finished teaching a lesson, and then let us go only during our lunch, recess, or after they were done talking.  We also had only two hall passes (one girl, and one boy) were only aloud out at one time.  This was not the reason why I was doing it, but I'm not sure about the other students in my class.  I don't know how many others were having the same problem.  My mom had taken me to the doctor, but I don't think anything came of it.  I really highly recommend taking your children to counseling/psychologist (not for medications, but to find out if something else is going on).  Your child could be going through something else you are completely unaware of.  I continued to have this problem throughout elementary, and into middle school.  I'm not sure exactly when it stopped, but I know sometimes I still have problems.  I would only have the issue if I was at school, or in a public setting (including day trips with my family, or while I was away for a full week at summer camp). Once I reached middle school, it stopped happening at school, but it would happen other times, like summer camp. Since then I find I only have issues when I am in a situation where I can't stop what I'm doing for one reason or another.  I used to work as a veterinary nurse at an emergency hospital.  We would have long shifts (12 hours) that would end up extending into over time (up to 16 hours some days), it was extremely busy, stressful, and we were never given lunch breaks, or even coffee breaks.  There were times I ended up wearing a diaper to work.  I have since left that job, for more reasons than one, and I am going to therapy (age 27). I never had a problem pooping my pants, only urinating. I haven't had a problem since I left that job, and started therapy.  I really wish I had done this a lot sooner.  My mom never punished me for it, but I knew she would get angry about it.  I really don't believe punishing a child for doing something like this is effective way of managing this at all.  I think it is embarrassing enough that it is happening as it is.  Clearly this is something your child doesn't want to happen.  You, and your child, just have to find out why.  I don't believe this is something that is normal, in any case, with a child of 8 years or older.  Maybe it is more common in younger children, I don't know.  Either way, there is a reason why this is happening, and if your pediatrician can't find anything medically wrong, then I would highly recommend seeing a child therapist.  

[ronnie81tx]

Hi!!! I just wanted to tell you foremost I definitely feel what you are going through to the T!! We are going through the same thing with our 10 year old daughter. The Dr. said there is nothing wrong with her and it feels like the more praise and redirection I do she gets more careless. She is my stepdaughter and I maybe thought that she did this because of being traumatized in her past. She was given up by her mother and also sexually abused by the boyfriend. She went through foster care before she came into the care of my husband her father. Since then she manipulates to get her way, lies, accuses people of touching her more often. She also sleep walks, and bed wets as well as during the day. She even has bowels and walks around like nothing. It has been a journey, but we haven't given up. I have high hopes that she will come around, sometimes I just don't know where to start. I do pray for you child as well, thank you for letting me know that I am not the only one. God Bless You!!

[jannell0408]

I am so glad I decided to google this. I am dealing with many of the same issues. My son will be 8 this year.  This has gone on for about 4 years now. He does not wet during the night time. Ironically, many nights he gets up to go to the bathroom. I tried taking things away, threatening pull-ups, which I was about to go buy tomorrow. He has seen doctors over the years.  He had a sonogram last week. Nothing appears to be wrong. His pediatrician still recommended taking him to urinologist.  I am angry and sad all at the same time. I wash clothes daily. He just started hiding underwear.  I found three pair behind his bed and I was so upset that it has come to this point. Some have suggested counseling. He claims that he can't tell that he has to use the bathroom until he has to go really bad. On the weekend, he once used the bathroom (b/c I sent him) 3x within 1 hour. I will definitely pray for all of you.  I just don't want him to get to the point where he gets teased. We have had some changes in our lives. I am not oppose to seeing a counselor. I don't know. I am off in the summers so, I will be home with him and hopefully can really focus on this. Good luck to all you in the struggle!

[Rasec05]

Wow.. it is good to know that we are not alone.  Same symptoms as most everyone.. She is 8, she also suffers from constipation, she also pees her pants at school and at night and does not seem to care. She cannot offer a reason when asked why.  She also does it more when she is doing something she does not want to stop doing. We also took her to the urologist.  NO problem with her bladder (as opposed to what some folks have posted here regarding underdeveloped bladder) and the urologist blamed it on the constipation.  For a while, I sent her to school with pull-ups, but she begged me not to send her with pull ups because kids did see them and started making fun of them.  She is also starting to get teased because she is wetting herself.  She was doing well for a while, at least during the day (we would still have to have her wear diapers at night), when she was taking Miralax.  I mean, her panties would still smell like pee, but at least she would not get completely wet to the point she would need to change.  This lasted for about 3 to 4 months, but a couple of weeks ago, my wife stopped giving her Miralax to see if she would be ok, but she isn't.  She started peeing again. She is back to taking Miralax and I am hoping she gets back to not peeing at least during the day.  I also read what is in the link from webmd that someone posted: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/enuresis .   This is also very interested because it says that it is hereditary. My wife had that problem and through Elementary school and even until 8th grade and just like webmd says it typically happens, she just grew out of it.  My wife says that the reason she used to wet her pants is plain and simple -- SHe just did not want to go to the bathroom out of laziness.. pure and simple..  I guess all we can do  is deal with it until they grow out of it.  I just hope the teasing at school does not cause here other problems.