11 month old-sleep pattern

[Lilyb]

Hello all,
My son who is 11 months old has started to really get attached to me to a point that he follows me everywhere around the house. He throws tantrum when i drop him off daycare in the mornings, and he wakes up constantly at nights to make sure I am sleeping nearby(or at least that is what i think because he goes right back to sleep as soon as he hears my voice!). I was wondering if wnyone else has had this experience? Is this a phase that will pass or am I spoiling him?
Thanks
Lily

[Lilyb]

Thank you ladies for your comments! Margypops, I know exactly what you mean when you say someday I will miss this attachment:) I keep reminding  myself that, but I also need to get up in the mornings and go to work an his night time habit doesn't help:(
AHP84, thank you, I am trying to follow your instruction. Hopefully he will sleep throught the night.

[margypops]

I still think that you are soo lucky ...he is so attached to you, good luck  

[AHP84]

I also have an 11 month old son. His behavior is similar right now in the clinginess department--he wants to be wherever his daddy or me are, preferably holding him. The clinginess is due to his age and it is a phase. My oldest son, who is now six years old, went through the exact same thing when he was between about 10-14 months old. I think it's because they're learning how to become independent, but they're not confident enough to follow through on their own with their independence yet. Everything is still very new and unknown to them.
About the sleep issue...
My 11 month old has only recently, per this last month, gotten into a sleep routine. Between birth at 10 months however, I think sleep was a foreign concept to him, lol. He was waking between 2-7 times on average every single night, just wanting to have some form of physical contact and reassurance from us. He's breastfed, so he co-slept with us in an Arm's Reach bassinet (so not in our bed, but beside it) until he was 7 months old, then we moved him to his crib. The bassinet was great in that if he cried out for comfort, I just had to reach over and stroke his head or hold his hand...
Then once he was in the crib, he wanted that same reassurance every...single...night, ALL night long. I had weaned him of nighttime feedings at 7 months old, so beyond that point, he simply wanted the physical contact and verbal reassurance. Needless to say, it became very frustrating and draining...the last thing we felt was lucky that he wanted us in his frequent waking moments every single night. Luck would be sleeping through the night, lol!
There is hope, though. Here's what we had to do. I won't lie...it was a tough challenge and it took at least two months to get this routine truly working.

- Make a bedtime. For us, our son will be in his crib by 9 pm.

- About a half hour prior to bedtime, make a relaxing and soothing routine. We do a bath, lotion massage, a dab of lavender oil on the forehead and chest, dress in jammies, snuggle up in our bed for nursing with dim lights, and bedtime music or total quiet.

- Transition baby to his crib at the designated bedtime.

- The first few nights, he's likely to cry when you walk away. Give snuggles when you lay him down and tuck him in, then maybe rub his back for a few minutes. I did this for no more than 5 minutes. Then walk away. Let him cry for up to 10 minutes, then walk in and reassure him without talking, just shhhhh sounds. Do not pick him up. Try also to avoid much eye contact. Let him hug you by standing in his crib, then lay him down. Do this for less than 5 minutes. Then walk out without looking at him or saying anything. Repeat this until he falls asleep. It may take up to an hour, it may take less.

- Throughout the night, when he wakes up, don't respond to him for about 5 minutes. This will prepare him to begin to self-soothe. Then when you go in to reassure him, do not talk to him, just shhhhh sounds again, and do not pick him up. Repeat the same process as putting him to bed. Let him cry up to 10 minutes, then reassure him for 2-3 minutes without talking or picking him up and very little eye contact.

This routine begins to work in about a week. During the first few days, you'll be up and back and forth a lot. Then by the end of the first week, he should be falling asleep within the first couple attempts to reassure him. After that, he will probably fall asleep on his own in less than 5 minutes if he wakes up and cries out for you. Eventually, he will randomly start sleeping through the night, and a full night's sleep for all of you should start happening within a month.

As a side note, we helped with his initial soothing for bedtime by getting him a microwaveable heated teddy bear. You can find these online at Amazon.com. You heat up a rice or bead pack in the microwave and then put it in a velcroed pouch in the bear. The warmth and weight of the bear is like having someone's body heat snuggled against him. We don't need to use the bear much anymore, but for the first two weeks we did, and it really helped by placing it against his hip or ribs.

I can say that this has at least been working for us. I hope it can help you as well.

[margypops]

oohhh lucky you, and yes it happens a lot whats better than mom and Dad ,so allow it to happen , its a good thing, trust me there will come a time when he becomes independant and you will miss it ....