Hi all,
My best friend has 10 and 7 year old girls, and twin 4 1/2 year old boys. I have known her for 8 years, so have witnessed many years of behavior from her children. I am very concerned about her twin boys and have tried to discuss it with her, but she seems to not take it seriously and changes the subject. The boys are not neglected as far as basic needs, but I wonder if she is as nurturing as she should be. Her mother was an alcoholic and a terrible parent and I don't think she received any positive feedback as a child. I feel that both of the boys are emotionally and verbally behind other children their age. I realize that all kids are different, but they also display behavior that is disturbing and unnatural for their age. Every outing we go on (mall, restaurant, pool) just confirms my fear that their is something seriously wrong with one, if not both, boys. As an example, yesterday we went to eat at a restaurant; me, two of my daughters (almost 4 and 20 months) and my friend and the twin boys. The boy that concerns me the most has been around me at least 50 times over the years and still will looks away and will not answer me or acknowledge anything I say to him. Yesterday I said hello to him at the table after we sat and he looked away as usual. I tried to make him laugh by asking him if I could tickle or kiss him. He got very upset and pushed his chair form the table while grunting (basically yelling) his disapproval. He does not communicate as a child his age should. He grunts, yells and will use two or three word requests/responses- no complete sentences that I have ever heard. I left him alone and after lunch we went outside to walk around a bit. My daughter and his brother were playing and something upset him and he started the grunting/yelling again. My friend (his mom) said that he thought we were making fun of him; I guess because we looked at him and asked him what was wrong. He went on to yell for a solid five minutes as she had to carry him to the car. She told him that if he did not stop she would take him home. He kept screaming "I stop" for the five minutes and began kicking and shoving things when she finally got him in the car. He yelled for another two-three minutes there and finally stopped. My friend tried to talk to him but he just shook his head and would not answer her as to why he got upset. This type of incident has happened to various degrees many many times since I have known him. It is not your average temper tantrum. Trust me, I have the two girls I mentioned earlier and a 5 year old also; we have dealt with our share of tantrums. I think there is something emotionally or mentally unstable about her son, but can't find anything on line that meets all the behaviors he exhibits. I don't think he has autism based on the symptoms I have read. His mom just gets past these episodes and I guess doesn't realize how serious they are. Also, the boy goes to preschool three days a week and has had some problems with the teachers, but nothing that has made them counsel his mom (to my knowledge). I would love some feedback on what you all think might be going on. Thanks if you read this long story!