Sweet 8 yr old boy; upsetting talk!

[rswmom]

Is this normal or should I be worried?  My son has been a model child since birth.  He can not be sweeter.  He was the only child in kindergarten to be accepted into gifted and talented.  He now has two younger sisters and he loves on both of them like loving siblings do.  His squables have been normal in my mind. I am often told from other families, teachers, and church volunteers that he is one of the best behavied children.  He just finished 1st grade and received the highest scores someone in his grade could receive.  His teacher told me that he is reading on a 7th grade level and is one of the best students she has ever had.  However, in the last 3-4 months he has said some disturbing things that have me worried and I am seeing (while not regular) mood swings usually triggered by an event (like he got in trouble or did not want to do what the family was proposing to do.)  When he gets in trouble, he will cry and say that he has a terrible life or he wishes he was never born.  He has never been in trouble for hitting, but recently hit his cousin and a neighborhood friend after they verbally mouthed off to him in a squable.  It is almost like he cant express himself in words.  Last night, he said he hated his family and wanted to die.  When everything is fine and he is not upset or in trouble, he seems and acts fine.  He is kind of shy, but has never really had trouble verbalizing himself normally before.  I am very worried and upset over these comments.  He comes from a loving family and we are so proud of him and all he has accomplished so far.  How do I help him not to feel this way or is it possible this is his way of trying to get a reaction?  If it was a mood disorder, would I have seen signs before now?

[rswmom]

Wow!  Great feedback!  Thanks everyone.

[benjimom]

I know those comments must be hard to hear, but I would say if he doesn't appear depressed all the time then not to worry, you might mention them to your doctor and see what they say.   He may have heard those statements somewhere too.

[rswmom]

We have wondered the same thing.  We are proud of him, but our expectations are less about academics and more around being polite and loving.  We are proud that he reads so well, but his sister reads at a normal average and we are just as proud of her.  All three of our kids have their own wonderful, but different qualities. Having said that, it is good feedback to make sure we are not emphasizing academics too much.

[AnnieBrooke]

If I had to guess, I'd say he's feeling the pressure of being a model child whose family is all so proud of him and all he has accomplished so far.  That has to take a big toll on a kid who carries the weight of everyone's pride and expectations on his shoulders.  Have you ever said to him that he can just be a kid and it is OK if he does not read at a 7th grade level and always get the highest scores and get into gifted and talented?  Even if intellectually he's able, emotionally he might still be younger and wanting to be just a kid with no expectations.