difficult behavior

[teababy]

hi, i have a 15 yr old daughter who is bipolar she has been in a residential treatment center for 3 years. she has a mind set of boys,fighting,gang banging,tatoos is selfish and not considerate of others feelings. as her mom its really hurtful and hard and would like to know if theres any other way of i guess instilling values,morals and get her on the right track. thank you  

[shanta35]

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was younger. I use to have the same attitude on life that you said your daughter has.  What you have to understand is that this is a chemical imbalance which has nothing to do with the morals and values you have instilled in your child.  She has them and are fully aware of what you expect of her.  Its just that she has impulsive actions and moods. It is hard for a child to control certain things when they really don't understand that they really have a problem and she needs help.  Over the course of 22yrs I have on and off been in therapy and on medication.  But not until recently have i discovered that I need therapy and my decation in order to cope on  daily basis.  I dont want you to feel that you have failed as a parent. We as parents can only hope and pray that the morals and values that we give to our children are going to be used.  

[ladeanjanel]

Ask her doctors to double check her diagnosis against Impulse Control Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.  I don't know much about your daughters behavior/treatment/progress, but it sounds like after 3 years she would have made more progress than this.  As far as instilling virtues/morals, alot of that will come with TPP (time, patience, and practice).  For some, there needs to be an unforseen event to make her "snap out of" her selfish behavior.  It took everything for me....my mother would take me to a farm to work whenever she could, she would take me to the local womens shelter to volunteer, I would have to babysit severe special needs kids under her supervision for no pay....  What really drove the point home was when she passed away and at 17, I realized that what she was trying to teach me was more important than everything I had originally thought.  I hope your daughter doesn't have to learn the hard way.  Best of luck to both of you.

[ladeanjanel]

I was diagnosed at 13 ad BPD and after taking the meds and counceling for 12 years they figured out I am Bipolar II, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Impulse Control Disorder and Severe Depression.  BPD is most commonly used in teenagers because it is difficult to figure out extacly what is going on that will continue after adolecent years.

[jdtm]

Bipolar?  Maybe.  Google "borderline personality disorder" to see if these behaviours  more closely resemble those of your daughter.  If so, there is some help.  Sometimes a child is diagnosed with bipolar when, in fact, the mental health issue is a personality disorder.  Most mental health professionals are very reluctant to diagnose personality disorders as BPD until the teen reaches adulthood and so, the original diagnosis is often incorrect.  Just wondering ....