my stepdaughter is 7 yrs old. when her father and i started dating she was 4 going on 5. at that time she didnt do many things on her own, put her coat on, try to get her boots on, ect. things that i think a 5 year old should be able to do or at least help do. she would actually refuse to at least try and then have a huge tantrum if you pushed the subject. i guess mom and dad use to accomodate her every want, but i am not the type of person to listen to that, so she started getting timeouts and alone time. after a while that didnt work anymore, so we started to take things away, favorite toy, games, movies ect. that seemed to work for us (her dad and i).we havent had any problems in a long time. her mother still to this day has terrible problems with her tantrums. her mother has tried a reward program with her, a chore list, ect. her mother still doesnt not stick to "her guns" a lot of the time and does not follow through with her consequences. i feel that is her problem, and she needs to deal with it, because she wont listen to my husband or i. The only thing is that she is in school and her tantrums and bad behavior have traveled to school and her daycare program with her. she has actually been in school for 2 weeks so far and has been threatned to be kicked out of her daycare because of tantrums and outbursts. her tantrums use to be just the "normal" 2 yr old stuff...crying, yelling , kicking at things. now they have esculated, she will lock herself in the bathroom (at school), hide behind things, refuse to come out. she does relatively well accedemically in school, has had minor tantrums, but is very bossy, and tries to be the center of attention all the time. we only have her parttime, and have no problems at school or home when she is here, but her mother is at wits end and has no idea what to do with her. if you have any advice pls let me know.