Is it normal to want to know more about more birth parents?

[FarrahCole]

I am a 14 year old girl, and I was adopted at the age of 9. I have 3 sisters. I have been in foster care since I was a baby. I would visit my birth mom when I was in foster care on Thursdays. I don't remember much about her. My mom does not want to talk about it. I don't understand why though. My question is: Is it normal for a kid to want to know more about their biological Parents?  Please help.

[AAG1989]

This is totally NORMAL! I found out I was adopted as an adult I was in my 20s. Your moms reaction is unfortunate, but very normal, is due to fear. Fear of you abandoning her or loving her less than your biological mom. However, is important you understand that it is YOUR life, not hers. As well as make her understand that you love her above all no matter what - it should be the case, since she is raising you and providing (taking care of) for you. Its crap that you can't love a non biological son/daughter the same as a biological one. You have to understand your mom, but she also has to understand you. Talk to her calmly, DON'T demand answers, she needs her time too. I believe you can only retrieve your biological parents when being above the age of 18, so theres not much you can do now. If it comes to it that your mom becomes stubborn and does not cooperate and you get to the age of 18, then get some counseling and get someone to talk to your mom with you present. For now that you are 14, just tell your mom you understand how she feels, ask her  if she is afraid of talking to you, and reassured her! but make her understand that, that is YOUR life and you have a right to know that this will not mean you will love her less. This will make you guys get closer. Goodluck!! Never feel ashamed or doubtful of your feelings, and truly look deep in you to know why and what you want to know, is it for the right reasons? You are so young take it at a time.

[AAG1989]

This is totally NORMAL! I found out I was adopted as an adult I was in my 20s. Your mom's reaction is unfortunate, but very normal, is due to fear. Fear of you abandoning her or loving her less than your biological mom. However, is important you understand that it is YOUR life, not hers. As well as make her understand that you love her above all no matter what - it should be the case, since she is raising you and providing (taking care of) for you. It's crap that you can't love a non biological son/daughter the same as a biological one. You have to understand your mom, but she also has to understand you. Talk to her calmly, DON'T demand answers, she needs her time too. I believe you can only retrieve your biological parents when being above the age of 18, so there's not much you can do now. If it comes to it that your mom becomes stubborn and does not cooperate and you get to the age of 18, then get some counseling and get someone to talk to your mom with you present. For now that you are 14, just tell your mom you understand how she feels, ask her  if she is afraid of talking to you, and reassured her! but make her understand that, that is YOUR life and you have a right to know that this will not mean you will love her less. This will make you guys get closer. Goodluck!! Never feel ashamed or doubtful of your feelings, and truly look deep in you to know why and what you want to know, is it for the right reasons? You are so young take it at a time.

[flyingfish1988]

This is VERY normal. I am adopted (was two weeks old) and so was my sister. We were always told we were both adopted and were raised by a wonderful couple. But, we both always wondered who we looked like, if we had any other brothers or sisters, etc. I started searching for my birth parents after my first child was born and found both within six months. My sister took a few years longer but found her birth mother as well. Neither of us regret it and our parents (who raised us) were very understanding and supportive.