my son

[worriedmother802]

my son is 6 years old me and his father seperated a year and a half ago and his father was realy abuse to me last year i took a trip to new york and my son was at my sisters house and she has for kids 3 boy and a girl she called me when i was in new york and told me she found her youngest son who is 21/2 years older then my son naked together and nether of the boys would say what was going on well they both got in trouble and was talked to about touching other peoples privits then last night my son told me that his cousin who is 8 years older then him had been humping him when his dad would leave him over there to stay the night when he had to work but he said that this is something this is what they did together well i called his father and he filped and wanted to talk to my son when he got on the phone with him my sons story changedand he said that it was 2 of my sisters kid and his fathers sisters son so he said that all three kids are doing it i dont know what to do or beleave because of what happend when i was in new york and because my son tells so many things since my and his father spit up pluse he gose to a consler and i have never been told this by him or that my son ever talked to him about any sex acts
a scared mom who dont know what to do

[specialmom]

Let me just say that I may have had the ages messed up a little---------  but your thoughts and mine are the same.  I agree one hundred percent with your decision.  I think the enviroment and your ex's reaction sounds unsafe for your child.  I did realize that the cousin humping him was age 14 (8 years older than your 6 year old) and that is unacceptable.  I'd give your boy the benefit of the doubt that it was really happening coupled with any other issues you see.  

I'm glas as well you have your boy in therapy.  Keep things calm and consistent at home and maybe stick as  close to him as you can. Don't leave him unsupervised with friends or relatives------------  after having something like that done to him, he could try to do the same to another child.  (the cycle).  You need to be around at all times until he is past it.   good luck

[worriedmother802]

no you read this wrong my son is 6 his cousin is 14 and i contacted the child protection department today to make shure that this never happens again to my son or anyone else and my sisters son and my son are the same age but i as thow there is more going on in that house with his father then i know and my son will no longer be going to his fathers untill the courts hear this case i am so scared of what may be going on and this is a real hard thing to deal with i just pray and hope my son is going to be ok

[specialmom]

Do you know the mother of the cousing who is 8 years older?  I'd call that mother and I'd talk to that cousin myself.  I'd do it quickly and see if you can get any information.  I'd also leave a flat and heartfelt warning that if you EVER hear of anything occuring again that you will call the police.  And then I'd call the police if you hear it again.  A child that is 2 years older is a lot different than a child that is 8 years older--------  .  None of this sounds healthy.  No no no ----------- do not leave him at your sisters again.  Sorry if you need a break, but you need to find a better arrangement.  And I'd make it clear to Dad that you are taking action with this.  That you will be addressing this with the counselor----------  that you give the benefit of the doubt to your son as every parent should.  What if he is being molested?  Certainly his father wouldn't want that.  So, perhaps his dad can step up and try to protect him as well and not take him to the cousin's house when he works.  Maybe he shouldn't have his boy when he works.  Does he get a day or so off a week?  But I'm afraid quite an unstable situation has been created for this poor boy on all fronts.  I'd keep him in counseling and watch for any changes in behavior.

By the way----------  child on child molestation usually occurs because the one doing the molesting was molested themselves.  It is a viscious cycle and it is terrible.  Always best to try and stop the cycle.  

Good luck

[benjimom]

I would mention this to the counselor and see if she can get him to talk about it.  Also, I would not send him back to this home again, esp unattended.