my sons behavior

[ilovemykidz]

my three year old son has become a different child.. he used to go to bed on his own and was very cuddly and sweet.... and now he swears at me, hits me, throws things, and he refuses to sleep alone. please help i dont no whats wrong

[ilovemykidz]

thanks for all the advice, i hope this is just a stage and i can get him out of it very soon.

[specialmom]

Hi, I agree with jdtm.  That was very insightful advice.  I will tell you that on occasion when I know that my child is acting terribly and it is because they are upset with them, I will pull them on my lap and give them a long, snug hug.  Every time I've done this, my little guys have burst into tears and melted like babies.  You'd be surprised what all they carry around inside of them-----  and their immature emotions come out looking mad.  I also use phrases like "when you call mommy that name, it hurts my heart."  My kids get talk like this.  I also say when they are doing the right thing and are sweet "you make my heart happy".  It is okay to have absolute rules in your house (and I'd put no hitting, cussing, etc. on the list) but knowing when your child is actually in need of nurturing is important too.  You can discipline with love.  It works just as well as disciplining with anger.  Good luck.  It is really hard to find the right balance.  Keep trying though, it will be worth it in the end!

[ilovemykidz]

i recently started just sitting down with him and talking to him and asking what the problem is.. if he just misses mommy or if hes mad at me for somthing and he dosnt talk to me he just shrugs his shoulders and hugs me and then he will go play.. i dont know what im doing wrong.. but maybe your right maybe he needs to see a counselor.

if anyone has any other advive it would be greatly appreciated!!

[jdtm]

does he just hate me?? --  your words

No, I doubt that very much.  If it is any consolation, children tend to take their frustrations out on the person with whom they feel the most safe.  Your son has had a lot of changes in the past short time and maybe, it's almost too much for him.  So, I suspect he is reacting negatively to the one who will always be there for him.  Next time when he acts up, try doing the opposite to what you have been doing.  I wish you the best ....

[ilovemykidz]

He goes to my sisters house and he just started preschool this year so he does that tues and thurs... i dont get y hes very nice to everyone but me, my sister says he awesome when im not there and the teacher at preschool said hes a very well behaved child and he gets along with everyone there.. does he just hate me??

as for the language its hard to say where he gets it ( i know probably some from me and his father cuz everyone slips up every once in awhile) he will repeat anything anyone says even if its on TV.

[Shauhncy]

That sounds like a need for some major counseling to me.

Where does he hear that language? You need to find out where he's hearing talk like that, and make sure it goes away.

Is he in daycare?

I would try to find out a really good child counselor and see what's bugging him.

Until then, I would definitely discipline him for treating you that way with taking away something he likes, or making him sit in time out. Consistently.

[ilovemykidz]

his father and i were split up for about a year, but we worked it out and were now back together and have been since Jan.

it dosnt just happen at night... its actually very strange one minute he will be just fine and telling me how much he loves me and the next im a F@$&er!! and he just screams at me!1

[Shauhncy]

Have there been any big changes in his life recently? A split with you and his dad?
A daycare/babysitter change? This age often displays their negative emotions by hitting. Could he have picked up this kind of behavior from someone else? Are these things only happening at night? If so, maybe he had a bad dream one night recently and now he's very upset at bedtime.