punishment for not being affectionate to a parent

[reb1942]

We learned that occasionally, our granddaughter will not kiss her mother goodbye when the mother leaves for work.  She is normally a very affectionate child and this issue happens every once in a while.   When she does it, our granddaughter gets a "time out" on the chair for this behavior.   While the child should kiss her mother goodbye, we maintain that punishment for this "offense' is unreasonable.

I guess as grandparents, one could say it is not our business however, we care about our granddaughter and do not want to see her given punishment.  

Any advice regarding how to handle it?   Thank you

[supermomma531]

I don't think it matters if the lady is a daughter or a daughter-in-law. What matters is how to handle the situation properly. Maybe if worded correctly, you could suggest a few different ways of how to handle this. How old is the grand-daughter anyhow? Maybe she's old enough to feel too old to give her mom hugs and kisses good bye. If she is a teenager or something, it could be too cool for her to show affection. If she's little, maybe she's upset with her mother over something. Have a talk to the mother and see what is going on and also talk to the grandchild. See if they'll tell you why they are behaving like this. Sit down as a group and talk about the situation and concerns. Try to come up with a plan to make the situation better. Maybe the child feels like there is too much being expected of her and maybe she's angry with her mom about it. She definitely should not be getting punished for not hugging and kissing her mother. She needs to be talked with and asked her opinions. I hope this helps. Ask her why she doesn't want to be affectionate with her mom. See what she says.

[jdtm]

Any advice regarding how to handle it? --  your words

Depends - is this your daughter or daughter-in-law?