4 year old is obsessed with cords

[myboyscrazymom]

My 4 year old son has always been interested in cords. It started very early (1 1/2 yrs)  and it was cute - he'd play with an extra computer mouse, drag it around like it was a pet. Then started "plugging" things in to the couch cushions. We thought it was very creative of him and nurtured his interest in how things worked. Somewhere along the line it got out of hand. My husband and I seem to be in eternal renovation, so extension cords were always around. He'd ask to play with them and we'd let him take a couple and attach them together. He'd concentrate and imagine that he was doing something very important. Because we were extra worried we always reinforced that outlets and anything already plugged in were off limits. Although we've always kept an eye on him. We've struggled with this issue because he enjoys playing with a few cords so much that he would keep himself busy and use his imagination. We always new it was weird and not considered a good idea. But anyone who saw him do the stuff he did with a few cord would always comment on how amazing he was about putting them together and being so imaginative. We've taken them way on a few occasions, but they've always crept back. I know this seems hard to imagine - but he would have a box of extension cords, small fans or radios with cords, outlet strips and he would connect them in a thousand different ways and string them all over the living room and never go near a real outlet or put anything around his neck. Recently it's gotten out of hand. My mother bought him 6 cords that he was allowed to have, but he wasn't allowed to ask for any more. Well that didn't work - he weaseled quite a few more out of his grandfather (who are torn as well - is this cute or horrible?) I thought it was a good idea at first and did it at home too. The problem is he works you for more and more and more. What he has is never good enough. He turns into this other person - overly obsessed. He started to not want to go to preschool b/c he wanted to play cords. He was having nightmares about being sucked into a fan and pulled through the electric lines. He had the biggest tantrum on the front lawn when we made him come in from re-arranging our christmas decoration (all with cords). We put them away after that. Cold turkey (except my parents haven't done the same thing) and he's managing - but he brings them up all the time and substitutes other things for them - like ropes and hoses. He talks to other kids about them and they think he's crazy, so he's not relating well to kids his age. He brings cords up in conversation - says stuff like "wouldn't this be cool if it was plugged in?". He finds them everywhere (grocery store, musuem, malls...) and tries to figure out how they are plugged in. It's gotten crazy. and I just wish he were like other little boys. He whines all the time, is super emotional, very picky eater, very attached to me, and my sitter says he's anxious, a friend says he parallel plays at preschool.
I've scheduled an appt. with a child psychologist - but it's not till the end of July. I just don't know what to do till then. I"ve been trying to get him interested in other things, but cords always come up. I'm at the point where I want him to be normal so badly I get aggravated when he doesn't want to do normal kid stuff. I've looked up OCD, ADHD, Aspergers, Anxiety, Depression (which I have and runs in the family). Nothing seems to fit. Any thoughts? If this were a train obsession, it would be acceptable, but it's not and I want to do right by him. Please help...

[Sroberts14]

Hi there! I know this thread was written 14 years ago and I’m sure you’ve moved along but I have a 4 year old who I could have written this exact thing about when he was 18 months old up until present day. The cords, plugs, fans, speakers. The fascination has only grown. We’re onto circuitboards and wires now at 4yrs. I hope you see this and let me know what your son is doing as a teen? I want to get him into a STEM school but it’s a lottery so we shall see.

[Free2be]

I updated above.  I visited this page when my son was four because of his interests as well.  He is a very bright, verbose, loving inventor now, and has been diagnosed with very, very mild autism spectrum disorder by a developmental behavioral pediatrician. He struggles with nonverbal communication, social cues, and impulsivity, but excels in intellect and empathy.  I wish we had pursued a professional opinion earlier as it might have helped him access services that would have reduced social/behavioral issues.  If your child engages in a lot of pretend play and enjoys pretending with character figures, he might just be a budding engineer.  If you are concerned, consider checking out http://www.firstsigns.org/ where you can see videos comparing typical and atypical developmental responses to situation, a validated screening tool (MCHAT) and more.

[DirigLanders]

Echoing many of the other comments here - in fact, I found this post because I am frantically searching for answer;  my 4 year old is 100% completely obsessed with cords, wires, hoses, and pipes. He configures and assembles for hours (good!), but he plugs things in too (so bad!), and that is why I'm nervous. Anyway -- any updates from those who have traveled this journey before?

[Sandman2]

Yes, I also would be really curious to hear how this has worked out for others.  
   One thought I had is have you tried introducing him to other things that can be joined together to build things like LEGOS?  

[karamegan]

Kids go through many stages. I dont think it's weird. My son likes cords too. He plugs headphones into our phones. As long as he isn't hurting himself I wouldn't worry. If your kid was obsessed with super heros the way he is with cords you wouldn't think anything of it. I wouldn't see a psychologist. Don't let them tell you there's something wrong. Don't put your child on medications.

[Free2be]

If anyone else is having this issue, please consider having your child evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. Our son displayed many of the behaviors noted here.  Because he is so very bright and verbal, he didn't fit neatly into a 'box' but it appears now (almost 7) that he is 'just barely' on the autism spectrum.  With age, different social/academic demands occur and small differences become more and more apparent. With an earlier diagnosis, we might have been able to get him OT, social skills and emotional regulation help earlier.  

[Jmcallahan55]

Help!!! I am having the same problem here and would love an update from parents. My son has the same cord addiction and has for a couple of years. He is 4 now. It got better for a while and came back full force recently. He is acting up and having horrible tantrums. This is not his normal behavior. I am so stressed and worried. Any info or updates would be helpful, as my situation is almost identical to most of yours.

[Sandman2]

    Very nice reply.  Thankyou!

[vjacky]

HI to all the other mother's out there with boys who are obsessed with cords, strings, rope, in essence, long things. Our 6 year old son has the same obsession and has had it since he was 18 mo. old, if not earlier. He does relate well to other kids, he's learned that other kids arn't into "long things" like he is. He use to be quite shy, but with acceptance and a good 2 and 3 day a week program for socialization, he's just like every other little boy. I read once that, OCD behavior is when some one is fixated on a problem, not something they love. We have strong engineers in our family, and after watching his behavior for 6 years I think he (and maybe your boy) is interested in the Connections. He, like others, rather than connecting blocks he likes to connect wires, and string, and cables. (He has a whole tool box and drawer of them) They've never been used aggressively. So, I say, watch and wait. As long as he's not hurting himself or anyone else, give him what interests him, you might be surprised how your support of his interest allows him to work on the special gift that he has. Of course, I'm no therapist. But, with regard to my sons childhood obsession with "long things", at 6 he knows more about energy, electricity, and how cables work than most adults. So keep answering his questions. Feed his passion, but like other writers suggest, keeping a good balance in life too teaches us all how to cope and have a good life. ALSO, I would be curious to find out what happened with the original writers son....

[Sandman2]

    It might help him to calm him self.  Does he seem to have any sensory issues?  Things that he is very sensitive too. - foods, noises, textures, lights, etc?

[curiousmom1]

I just wanted to see how this situation has turned out for you. Our 2.5 year old son is also OBSESSED with cords, plugs, etc. He was diagnosed with Autism 6 months ago but is extremely high functioning. He has a vast vocabulary and is well adjusted in most situations, he just LOVES cords. He too is a different child when he has them, much more calm and creative. They seem to really sooth him. If you ever resolved this or got some good direction that you would like to share I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

[khoke88]

awewwwwwwew this is my son too.

[khoke88]

My son too is extremely high functioning.
Please let me know how your son is now?

[specialmom]

Could you substitute with something safer and acceptable?

[Vic2112]

Where is your son at now with this?  You completely described my son in regards to remote controls/cords/outlets/fans.  I am worried about him, but I do realize he is only 2.  Did anything change as your son got older?

[specialmom]

I think your child has a vivid imagination and that is actually a sign of great intelligence.  He probably had fun with his 'game' the first couple of times with the cords and now when he sees one, he thinks back to that game and wants to play/have fun again.  I honestly would not worry unless it is something he could get wrapped up in and choke himself.  But he sounds deightful, full of interesting ideas.  Celebrate that!

[shiloh4]

My son is 3 1/2 and has been obsessed with cords for the last 2 years. He is only ok without them when he finds a similar obsession. puzzles, duplo, geomag, train tracks, zoobs, dog leashes etc. Anything he gets hooked on connects. Its all about connecting. He will play with these things for hours a day for months then hes over them and goes back to the cords. I have put all the extra cords away in a bag and he constantly asks for them. He doesnt know what to do if he cant have them. And everywhere we go, hes seeing the cords for things and thats all he wants to talk about. We go to a pet store and he spends the whole time staring at all the cords for the fish tanks. He has major meltdowns if anyone touches what hes connected. It has to be just the way he says and he plays all kinds of imaginary games with them. the cords can become anything for him. we dont have a wii but he pretends to play one with the cords and a portable dvd player that doesnt work, he plays posty man games, catches dragons, pretends its a cd player and asks me to request songs. So i'm also wondering if this is healthy or gone too far. If i let him loose with the cords, they are connected from one end of the house to the other! I'd love to hear from anyone who has either moved past the obsession or had something positive come from it.

[pinkyrural769]

we have the exact same problem as you with our 4 year old son.He was diagnosed with autisim a year ago at the same time that he started this obsession  He steals cords,extension cords etc.. anything related to electrical cords. He has tantrums when we take them from him ,he will even lie to get access to a room where they are kept. Its driving us literally crazy we have smoke coming out of one plug because he tore a Christmas light out of the wall socket . We have unusable DVD players,radios.lamps,computer cords,alarms clock. pretty much everything he touches because the plugs are bent ,damaged so we totally sympathize with u . He manages to find confiscated plugs so the whole safety issue has gone out the window and we feel that its an endless situation, we are sure that he's been electrocuted at least once  and our social worker seems to be helpless in this situation .

[jennybinindy]

My 4 year old son was recently diagnosed with ASD.. high functioning. And he is obsessed with cords as well. And anything that uses a cord. He has meltdowns sometimes when we take them away. It's crazy.

[Jessica2375]

I wouldn't try and tell Einstein to paint a Picasso

" i yam what i yam" [Popeye]

[cmon_now_people]

Where are the dad's in all this?   Every kid I know growing up was obsessed with something weird.  That's what they do.  Also, don't be so afraid of the crying fits because guess what- they need to learn how to deal with life and process those feelings so when they get older and the boss says "no, you can't do that - just do your own job" they can deal.  Also, a well known child development expert once told me that kids that age don't even know WHY they are doing what they are doing and can't explain it in grown up terms, so when they are asked it stresses them out even more and they become anxious.  The best is to limit it/schedule it like someone mentioned, and then do not make a big deal out of it or even talk about it any more than you would regular topics.  
It's not a syndrome- it's just part of growing up and small minds forming and understanding the world ( and how their parents react to them!) Come on now people!

[kc90204]

i can't believe that i have found other parents experiencing the same issues-- that i have been concerned about!!!  i have a 2 year old that is completely infactuated with plugging cords in and out of the outlets!! we have tried every cover and safety that we know of and he still finds a way to get through the safteys!!! he does not play with toys only electrical cords -- and his new obsession is taking batteries out of the remote control and keeps putting them back in--out and in !!! im trying to figure out if he is just interested because he's trying to "figure things out"--or if this obsession is something that i should be looking more into. he does say many words-- but he definetly babbles alot more than he speaks clearly--the problem is also that if i try to keep him away from the cords or the batteries and try to direct his attention towards something else then he throws  extreme crying fits-- hes devastated-- and not just for a minute. i really hope that someone can also give me a clue as to if this seems like normal behavior for a two year old boy or not. he has been doing this type of behavioral thing with all out tantrums since he's been 1yr.

[maky158]

While reading this, I thought Aspergers as well. Then reading the other posts, I thought maybe just a simple obsession. Anyway, if it's that bad, get him tested. Not a big deal. I agree with ames67. how about setting aside special times each day for him to play cords? That way he learns to balance. It will tough at first and maybe a struggle, but if you stick to this new schedule, eventually it should work out. Have you tried introducing him to other things that maybe he can find interesting? Then you can shuffle things around with him. A little time doing this, a little time doing that. He needs you to teach him balnace. That way he doesn't become obsessive in general about stuff.

[momco]

Wow.  My son too!  to the T.  (and HZ Mom).  My son's teacher in his ECFE class just expressed concerns about him displaying 'autistic' symptoms, (empashisizing high-functioning/ aspergers).  We proceeded with the recommended assessment.  2 of the 3 tests were positive by negligible scores.  The team of professionals admitted he likely wouldn't be clinically diagnosed.  I love my son's creativity and passion for how things work.  The questions and obsession with cords can be overwhelming at times.  How is your son?  Please offer any progress or insights you are willing to share.  Thank you and take care.  Momco

[HZMom]

Oh my gosh! You just described MY 4 ...soon to be 5 year old son!!
My husband and I feel the same way as you do.  I am more 'concerned' than my husband but, my son usually wants to plug them in. Finally we have him asking us to plug THEM in as he knows we will take them away if he plugs one in.
My son would play with cords, ropes, hoses and anything he can tie up and string together all the time if we allowed it. He has done this since he was 18 months old. I thought he would outgrow it but, not so. I, too, want to encourage more social play. He will socialize but, often wants his friends to do the same with cords, etc...and they are not interested.
It frustrates me. He is  a very bright, articulate  and very strong willed child. He constantly tries to negotiate everything and come up with a "better idea".  He's a loving child and challenging at the same time. He has issues with social space and often interferes or 'bothers' others as they play. He has difficulty playing by himself and involves himself in whatever another child is playing with even if he really is not interested in what they are doing. He has a need to invade others space and often receives negative feedback. It's heart breaking at times.   He is an extremely busy and active child. He will keep you on your toes at ALL times.
I just wanted to let you know we have the same concerns with cords...thught you may want to know.
Good Luck and I hope to hear more if you end up seeing a specialist.
Concerned Mom of 2  

[ames67]

Well there seems to be extremes on either end of the discussion. I think it is a good idea to take him to see someone. I am in the mental health field and I thought Asperger's as well, especially if he is having difficulty relating to other kids (Asperger Syndrome by Tony Atwood is a great little book on the disorder). But without a thorough evaluation its hard to say. In the meantime, try scheduling the time he is allowed to play with cords, same time each day, or maybe just on the weekends and have it also be a reward for good behavior. Work it to your advantage while still allowing him to be creative, but you need to get the grandparents on board as well. Hope this helps.

[Agiesmom]

I'm wondering...why have you ruled out the possibility of Asperger's Syndrome?

[myboyscrazymom]

I guess my biggest fear is that he's obsessed to a degree that is unhealthy. He literally turns into a different child when he gets his hands on cords. it's starts innocently but then he can't get enough, nothing is good enough, he won't do anything else. I'm worried that it's effecting his ability to socialize with kids his age.
I don't want to kill his creativity, or imaginative thinking which is why my husband and I have really struggled with this - we are both artists (I'm in design and he's a craft artist), so to shut that down would truly be a sin. But I want him to be able to socialize too.