620916 tn?1221537976

step child problems

Hi am with someone and he has 2 children and we have an 11 month old too, his sons are 13 and the other 9, it feels as though we are constantly fighting about the 9 year old as he is disrespectful, rude and spoilt, I believe in punishment i.e. rewards and taking things away from him when he is being unruly, my partner on the other hand feels that if he just talks to him he will understand please can someone help as it is making our house a war zone. I get on very well with the 13 year old and love his company I just can’t help but resent the little one for all the chaos lies and problems he is causing. My partner says that imp wrong for interfering as he has raised the older one and that I am new to how to raise a child that makes me really mad as it feels as though he is speaking down to me. I’m at the end of my tether I feel like grabbing him and shaking him some times.

This discussion is related to My 8 year olds behavior problems help.
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603946 tn?1333941839
will not work til you two are on the same page. I feel sorry for all of you- get help /nanny 911
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Avatar universal
I believe in parents that work together will always come out on top. When you and your partner can't agree on how to controll your 9 yr old only confusses the child. I am 26 yrs old and my husband is 44 I have several step children ranging in ages from 25yrs - 10yrs old. From one step parent to another try sitting down with your step-son and in a clam voice and with an open mind and see if he will open up to you and tell you why he is so angery and why he has issues with you and see if you and your partner can agree on a solution of punishment. I hope things get better for you.

P.S If partner is talking down to you let him know how you feel he might not know he is doing it.
Helpful - 0
601045 tn?1291292518
Step children can cause many problems in relationship unless you work together and compromise on the parenting.  My DH has two children from his first marriage that live with us but they are much younger(1 and 3) so it was easier for the kids to adjust.  If you are raising them with him, you both need to sit down make the rules of your house and then sit the kids down and go over them.  Tell them what the punishments for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior will be.  Then you and your husband have to stick to it.  Consistancy is the best policy. To help things, treating them like your own instead of step children could help as well.  I hope this helps.  Best of luck to you.
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