Avatar universal

Confused about paternity

My girl friend cheated on me may 11 and 12 and then had sex with me on da 14 and as days goes on around June 9 I noticed she having pregnancy symptom and I said less go check if ur pregnant at the hospital the test came back negative so we went back on June 15 for another one it came back positive so they said she may conceived on may 30 or june 1 at that time they said she was about 3 or four weeks pregnant so now currently July 21 2021 she is about to be 9 weeks can the guy she messed with on the 11 or twelve be the father and got her pregnant because me and her had sex on may 14 and so on so what's the probility of me being the father
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13167 tn?1327194124
I don't know what's going on.  Is that standard - due to COVID?  Or did she tell them quietly she didn't want you there?
Helpful - 0
Have no clue
Probably covid
13167 tn?1327194124
This is so confusing.  Brooklynguy,  I don't see where you say you got a DNA test.  Has that been edited out?   Did you go with her to the sonogram?  
Helpful - 0
Yea but she said they can't let me go in
Avatar universal
She did NOT get pregnant from the earlier May intercourse. She got pregnant around May 30th. Sperm cannot live from the 12th to the 30th. You are the baby’s father.

Helpful - 0
O I now seen your response thanks you think so
So like mid but if she conception on 30 don't count two weeks back from May thirsty or jun 1 because she got positive test jun fifteen and the ninth she didn't
O so don't count backwards from the thirty because that what I was doing so when you think I should count backwards from
Okay so mid means somewhere in the 20 something right
There is no counting back at all. Ovulation/conception happened on the 30th of May.

Let’s put it this way. She had sex with Man A May 12th. This sperm would have lived until the 18th of May, after this date, it’s LONG GONE AND DEAD. The 18th is way before her conception date of the 30th of May.

You had sex with her the 14th and “so on”. So all the sex you had with her at the end of May is what got her pregnant. Conception normally happens with sex 2-3 days before ovulation. So doctors said she conceived May 30th, did you have intercourse around this day with her? I’m assuming so and this is when she got pregnant.

I know this is all sort of confusing, but all medical evidence points to you being the babies father. Early ultrasounds are accurate in early pregnancy, especially in the 6th-8th week of pregnancy.

Don’t let your mind tell you otherwise, it’s just anxieties. This is your baby. Congratulations!

Lolllllllll u just made my day
Okay update this is the 16 week and sonogram shows baby legs is long I'm 5.6 babymotha is 5.3 how is the baby legs long don't get it the sonogram says third trimester
Stop over thinking. You had a DNA test, it said you ARE the father. You need to maybe think about seeing a therapist.

Dosent sonogram suppose to state her name and how many weeks it doesn't state none of that
Where did she get the scan done? At her OB office?

Yes, normally it should have her name and GA on the scan picture. But if she went to a woman’s clinic it could potentially not have to have anything on it.

Remember, you had a DNA test. Ravgen is a great reputable company. Dna doesn’t lie.
134578 tn?1642048000
Probability is 100% you're the father, though it doesn't have anything to do with sex on May 14. It has to do with the "and so on" as you called it, after May 14. If you are the only guy she had sex with since her mistake on May 11/12, and if you continued to have sex with her through May and into June, hey, you're the dad.

Here is why, and this will be a little long, but please attend. Basically, the doctors said something to you in medical terms that don't mean what they sound like in plain English.

The count of a pregnancy used by doctors and nurses is called GA, which stands for "gestational age." It is the count in weeks, like 9 weeks "pregnant" or 9 weeks "along." This might sound to you and me like they are saying "9 weeks since conception" or "9 weeks since the sex that caused the pregnancy." But that is not what they are saying. When a medical person uses a number for pregnancy in weeks, it means "since the first day of the woman's last period." That starting point is around two weeks earlier than conception.

Medical science uses the first day of the last period as the start point of the count because it's a big, obvious signal, and in the days before ultrasounds, it was the only signal they had. (A woman would see her doctor when pregnant and ask how far along she was. The doctor would ask when her last period came before she got pregnant.) They began to calibrate the count of weeks to begin with day 1 of the last period, even though they knew a woman having a period is not yet pregnant. It was the only thing (before blood tests and ultrasounds) that they had to count from.

That kind of count of the length of pregnancy is still used today by all medical people, ultrasound techs, textbooks, Lamaze teachers, "What to Expect When You're Expecting," and the whole medical world (despite more modern ways being available to assess when conception actually happened). The GA time frame starts on day 1 of the last period the woman had before she became pregnant, and goes 40 weeks. A full-term pregnancy from conception to birth is only 38 weeks long. The first two weeks of the 40-week GA count are to back things up to the last period so the count can begin with it. Conception doesn't happen until around day 14 of the GA count.

For you, this means that if your girlfriend's doctor, nurse or ultrasound tech told her she is at almost 9 weeks, conception was about 7 weeks ago. As of today, July 22, 7 weeks ago was June 3. This fits with you two being told earlier that conception was around May 30 or June 1, since you did say "almost" 9 weeks and not "exactly" 9 weeks.

If conception was around the first of June, sex earlier in May didn't produce the pregnancy, not even May 14 with you. It would have been sex (presumably with you and no other candidate) at the end of the month.

You can check what I'm saying by going over it with the doctor. Just be sure not to fall back on phrases like "How far along is she?" because all you will get is more stuff using the GA, and that confuses things. Either ask when conception was, or if that's too direct, ask for the baby's estimated due date. If the estimated due date was based on ultrasound evidence, you can use it and count back from it 266 days on a calendar, and that will give the estimated conception date.
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But I think she was ovulating on the 11 or 12 can be the thirteen around those days
Although the doctor said she got pregnant around May 30 or June 1, you think she was ovulating no the 11-13 of May, because ... ?
I think she was ovulating those days I'm not sure but less say she was would it be possible she got a positive pregnancy test on da fifteen of June
Why do you think she was ovulating on May 11-13? Is it just because you are concerned about the sex with the other guy? A doctor has already told you that she ovulated around May 30-June 1.

Has she had an ultrasound yet? Did they give her an estimated due date from the measurements of the baby on the ultrasound?

If the test came back negative on June 9, that is more evidence that she didn't get pregnant May 11-13, because the test should have come back positive by then if she got pregnant almost a month earlier.
Estimate due date they said is Feb 20 2022
So when did she conceived then I'm lil confused
Did they give her the estimated due date after they looked at the baby on an ultrasound and measured the baby? If so, the estimated due date of February 20 suggests conception was around May 3o, and will be pretty close, maybe off by one day.

Or, did they give her the estimated due date because when she took one pregnancy test it was negative, and when she took the next one 6 days later, it was positive? That's proof also, just not quite as strong as from an ultrasound. It also suggests May 30 for conception.

If she's in her tenth week now, an ultrasound would be helpful if she hasn't had one yet.

If she waits to get an ultrasound until after her 12th week, doctors will say a date "plus or minus 7 days" if asked what conception date the ultrasound suggests. The further along the pregnancy goes, the wider this range will be. This is because over time in a pregnancy, some babies grow faster than average and some grow slower. In her 10th week the margin for error is really narrow, but by her 20th week the range could be pretty wide.

Does she have a regular ob/gyn? If so, she should ask for an ultrasound like tomorrow or next week.
So all this still leads to me most likely being the father ?
The doctors said she got pregnant on the 30th through the 1st. And I've told you that you're 100% the father based on the information you have provided, and explained that GA is calculated with an extra two weeks at the front when the woman isn't even pregnant yet. You haven't answered the question I asked about whether an ultrasound was done, so there is no more new data to discuss. But there is no reason to question she got pregnant the 30th-1st.

If the issue is that you simply won't believe you are the dad because the event on the 11th/12th has taken on oversized importance in your mind and gotten mixed with worries about paternity, (or perhaps you are not clear that sex on the 11th/12th can't produce a pregnancy conceived on the 30th-1st), no more parsing the dates will help you than has already been done in depth above. Maybe you will be more convinced by the doctor if you ask very specifically, when was the baby likely conceived. (Or maybe you won't listen to the doctor, you certainly haven't so far.) But you can ask every time you go in, if you think it will ease your mind about the paternity part of the issue. (Just be sure to use the word "conception" or "conceived" when you ask, so you won't get into that messed-up confusion about what 'weeks pregnant' means. )

Please separate your fears or anger at your girlfriend's behavior from any scenario in which you are not the dad. They are two different things. You being upset comes from her behavior that one time, not from any realistic question of when conception was. If she is remorseful and will never make such a mistake again, work on accepting that. If you were her only partner around the 30th-1st, you are the dad, and it is a separate issue than whether you're mad at your girlfriend, so work on that separately. Talk to a counselor about how to get past it, and talk to your girlfriend about her behavior and what it meant for the two of you.

In short, probably you and she have issues to discuss and work out ways to get past. But there is no hint that the baby came from her transgression.
Last time she went for and ultra sound was July 14 and they said 8 weeks 3 days now today is July 29 2021
When she went for the ultrasound on July 14, did they give her the due date of February 20, 2022 at that time?
They said the 21st
They said the 21st
What I am asking is if they said the due date after seeing the embryo on the ultrasound.
They said the 21st of February
Yes after seeing the embryo
OK, then, everything adds up to conception on May 30, then. The ultrasound was early enough in the pregnancy to be pretty precise.
And by "pretty" precise I mean it could be perhaps one or two days off (of May 30) but not more, that early in pregnancy. This rules out the sex on the 11th.
What you mean rules out the sex on the 11th so the time she cheated it can be the other guy got her pregnant right
The eleven and the twelve I'm assuming
All the medical input you are describing points to the 30th for conception.
So it could be either guy here got her pregnant right
No. The other guy was too early.
So the conception date matches after her mess up and lead up
Cause if it was those days then she could have conception before and positive pregnancy test before the dates I provided for you right
Cause if it was those days then she could have conception before and positive pregnancy test before the dates I provided for you right remember I said the 11 and twelve so I'm guessing those days was to early so the conception date on thirty most is me then
Yeah, I think that explanation of the count of pregnancy in weeks probably didn't help you any.

You have medically sound information that makes everything clear:

An ultrasound early in the pregnancy, and
A doctor that has read the ultrasound and THEN told you when the baby is due, and
A time period that you know you were the only guy (i.e., any time after the 12th)

You're the only person who could be the dad.

The doctor told  you conception was on the 30th-1st.  Conception, not the first day of her last period. Counting back 266 days from the due date of February 20/21 gives you the estimated day of conception, which as the doctor and ultrasound show, was the 30th of May to 1st of June. You were the only guy sleeping with her then.

Did that explain it? Because I think somehow we might be talking at cross purposes.
Im pretty much sure I'm getting the picture lol so should I be prepared or not be prepared so over all so from the thirty like the other person say do not count backwards from the thirty of may
Right, the doctor and ultrasound say she got pregnant on May 30. No counting backward from there, they mean May 30.

And you are right, if she had gotten pregnant earlier, the pregnancy test on June 9 would have come up positive, and it didn't.
When I type in may 30 on the conception calculator it says 2 weeks what that means
If you put February 20 or 21 into a conception calculator as the due date, it tells you that May 30 was the estimated ovulation day (which is also the estimated conception day).

It will label that day "Day 14" of the 280-day GA pregnancy time period even though it's the day of conception. Day 1-13, she wasn't even pregnant. That's how the GA count works. As a result, the woman gets told she's 2 weeks "pregnant" on the day she gets pregnant. Sorry this isn't clearer.
So all those these things they say from the day she had sex during her mistake on the 11 and 12 wouldent dat sperm stay in her prolly till da eighteen or so but then again she concept on the 30
That sperm would be dead, dead, dead long before the 30th.
She went ahead to do a pre invasive pre natal test is that a good thing they took blood and my swab you think that's what a good idea think it will come back a match ?
No response we shall see right just wanted to no what you guys think
Do you mean a non-invasive prenatal DNA test? If it was with a well-respected lab, it will come back a match. Good labs include the DDC and Ravgen.
Yes ravgen
No problem then.  :-)  Since you went to the gold standard of DNA labs, you'll get your paternity confirmed.
Update guys dna came back as like what you you said  job and thankssss
Great to hear! I’m glad everything worked out in your favor. Congratulations! Enjoy every moment with that beautiful child.
Not unexpected, but delightful information to get all the same. Have fun being a daddy!
Thanks guys appreciate it alot
What does a real ravgen DNA result paper looks like
I think you are really mistaken in being so concerned. If you can't trust the situation, you can't, but everything you described points to you being the baby's father, and did even before you got the test results. If you have a copy of a report from Ravgen, you could call them and fax them what you have and ask them if it is legitimate. But whether or not, the dates you have named say she got pregnant around May 30, and a Ravgen test wasn't even necessary.

As I said above, please separate your fears or anger at your girlfriend's behavior from any invented scenario in which you are not the dad. If you were her only partner around the 30th-1st, you are the dad. That is a separate issue than whether you're mad at your girlfriend, so work on any anger the situation has caused separately and don't mix it with invented fears about paternity. Talk to your girlfriend about her behavior and what it meant for the two of you, and talk to a counselor about how to get over your anger if you intend to forgive her. Don't make up scenarios and drive yourself crazy.
Don’t fall victim to your own thoughts. You were swabbed and your girlfriend had blood drawn. Your results are correct. Don’t second guess everything.
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