Help me I am suicidal

Question

Hello, please help me I am suicidal. July 30 I saw my period but it didn’t last for complete 4 days my boyfriend and I have been trying to have a baby but it was not working out.

May 23 I did a home test it was showing a faint and positive line.
Went to do a blood test may 29 it was negative 

June 6 I got my period again 
July 3 I got my period but wasn’t flowing so well 
Again July 30 I got my period but didn’t come out well at first and also didn’t last 4 days as usual.
Fast forward to August 6 I made a terrible mistake of my life, had sex with guy A with pull out method who is not even worth it
Fast forward to August 9,10,probably 12 and 13 I had sex with my partner and my flo app say my ovulation is day is 12 of August and some others say my ovulation date is 13.August 20th I had sex with the Wrong guy again using condom the first time,and went again the second time, but I got pissed and we stopped and he didn’t ejaculate.
September 6 I did a blood test and scan the ultrasound says I am 5weeks and 3days. And says my EDD is May 8 2023
Fast forward to my other scan it’s says my EDD is May 7 2023 (8weeks and 3days)
Another scan says EDD is may 6 2023
Did another scan at 12 weeks it says EDD IS MAY 3 2023. 
Now I am 19weeks and 5 days
Now I am so confused. I can’t stop thinking about this whole thing I have nobody to talk to my mother is late my father is irresponsible. I have made the worst mistake of my entire life. And I hope it doesn’t cost me my chances of being happy. I have really suffered a lot in life pls help me so I don’t end up taking my own life

AnnieBrooke · Accepted Answer

Well, first things first. Your scan at 12 weeks won't be anywhere near as accurate as your first two (nice and early) scans, some doctors even say "plus or minus 7 days" when they are talking about an ultrasound later than the 12th week. So don't take that as any kind of clue about when you ovulated. And certainly with everything you are saying, it sounds like you don't have any grounds for suicide over this; it really sounds like it's your boyfriend's baby and can't be the other guy's.  

From what you said, I would put conception around August 13 or 14, which would line up with your recent cycles, and make sense for the sex with your boyfriend on the 9, 10, 12 and/or 13 to have produced the baby. Sperm from the guy on the 6th would be dead by the time you ovulated, and sperm from August 20 would be too late. (You were already pregnant then, according to your early, most accurate ultrasounds.)

Your early ultrasound was so early, in your 5th week, that it's pretty impossible for it to be "off" the way they get later in the pregnancy. Babies begin as one cell, then divide into two, then four, and so on, at a known pace for a while. So when a doc looks at a baby in its 5th week GA (which is only three weeks since conception), it hasn't had a lot of time to grow and diverge from the average. This is why early ultrasounds can be spot on for accuracy. Later in a woman's pregnancy, some babies grow faster and some grow slower than average, and so they stop lining up with exact ages. But as early as you had your scans, there's little doubt.  

I'm also going to send you a private message.

Help me I am suicidal

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