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RAVGEN prenatal paternity test
I recently went to a lab to get a Noninvasive Paternity test. I tested my one night stand and he was swabbed. I was approximately 7 weeks when I went in for the test. I got my results yesterday that he was excluded beyond 99% because there were mismatches in the DNA between his and the fetal DNA. I have been very anxious to tell my boyfriend I am pregnant because I am afraid if we do a dna test with him the results will say he is not the father. I am not sure if I can trust the exclusion of the other person from Ravgen. I need to ease my nervous. Any thoughts? Please help. Thank you!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Glad to hear, though it's not surprising. :-) Congratulations on your upcoming little one.
I just wanted to come back and give an update. My boyfriend came back at 99.9% the father on the test we did. Thank you for your help.
I would also like to add the situation. This situation was I had slept with my on and off boyfriend of 10 years 08/25 and it was unprotected sex and he finished inside me but we had a fall out and argument like usual so I had a one night stand with a different person on 08/28. However the other guy ended up taking the condom off but it was too hot so he said he couldn't cum so we stopped. Meaning he didn’t finish. My ovulation cycle was 08/23-08/31 with 08/29 being my peel ovulation date. However my period tracker has only had consistent data for maybe three months because I was on birth control until the end of June. I am currently 9w 4days pregnant according to my last period 08/15. I do not know if one night stand might have been able to get me pregnant if he did not cum. Yet I find it so hard to believe my ex is the dad because I have never gotten pregnant with him before.
3 Comments
Ravgen is pretty much the gold standard for this kind of testing. You have nothing to worry about if the other guy was 99% excluded; that is as good as 100% for your purposes.
Women trying to keep sex with Mr. Wrong a deep, dark secret often have the problem that they got the answer they want but can't bring themselves to believe it. The guilt of the sex they're trying to hide causes fear, and they take counsel of their fears instead of their lab results.
Since you got the answer you wanted but aren't relieved, a way to dig into what is really making you anxious is to talk to a counselor, therapist or minister about bigger, more amorphous but existential questions the pregnancy is prompting. (Questions like how you will live, how you will pay for the baby, what your parents or your religion will say about you being pregnant and unmarried, what if you don't want to be that close to the dad for the next 18 years -- all the biggies.) A therapist can be a lot of help with identifying emotional issues around pregnancy.
Another option would be to test with Mr. Wrong again, with the DDC this time. It would be a big waste of money after getting your answer from Ravgen, but getting the same answer from the top two labs in the world should ease your mind. (Right?) (If not, see option one, talk to a counselor.)
Another option is to test with your 10-year boyfriend with Ravgen. (If you can't stand to tell him there's a need for a test, you could do a "discreet" test, using a swab on the edge of a drinking glass, or the guy's toothbrush.) If you look at the pinned material at the top of the DNA/Paternity community, you will see that I always recommend testing with both guys, because one will come up "yes" and the other will come up "no," and each guy's test therefore providing a check of the other's. (Though if asked, I also always would counsel being upfront with your boyfriend about why you want to test, rather than up the sneaky factor by doing a secret test.) Again, testing your boyfriend would be a bunch more money to tell you what you already know. But at least, if one guy gets a yes and the other a no, you can have no more doubt about the lab results.
Regarding being a long-term couple and not getting pregnant, it doesn't sound like you were actively trying to have a baby all the time -- not trying to have unprotected sex on the proper day of every month (as identified by using ovulation test strips) etc. every single month for years, right? If I were asked whose data is the most compelling -- a respected lab measuring the baby's actual DNA in your bloodstream, versus you having sex with someone (when using contraception at least some of that time) and not accidentally getting pregnant, I would go with your lab results.
When you and your boyfriend talk about the pregnancy, one thing that may occur to him (and if not, his buddies will say it to him) is that he should ask you for a DNA test before he signs up to 18 or 21 years of potential child support, guilt, responsibility and worry. But he likely won't want to insult you by saying, "So, what about a DNA test?" One way you can head that off, is to tell him on the day when you tell him you're pregnant, that when the baby is born, you want to do a DNA test right there at the hospital so his paternity is on the baby's legal record. Point out that since you aren't married the law will not just assume he's the dad, the way it would if you were married. And that for the baby's legal rights, you will have to insist on the test being done and in the record. He'll probably get so nervous that you are somehow hinting you want to be married (or are setting him up for a child-support battle) that he'll forget there could be any other reason you might want the test. I assume once you get a test done by going to the lab together with the baby, you'll stop worrying. (Right?)
Good luck! I don't think you have anything to worry about in your lab results.
Women trying to keep sex with Mr. Wrong a deep, dark secret often have the problem that they got the answer they want but can't bring themselves to believe it. The guilt of the sex they're trying to hide causes fear, and they take counsel of their fears instead of their lab results.
Since you got the answer you wanted but aren't relieved, a way to dig into what is really making you anxious is to talk to a counselor, therapist or minister about bigger, more amorphous but existential questions the pregnancy is prompting. (Questions like how you will live, how you will pay for the baby, what your parents or your religion will say about you being pregnant and unmarried, what if you don't want to be that close to the dad for the next 18 years -- all the biggies.) A therapist can be a lot of help with identifying emotional issues around pregnancy.
Another option would be to test with Mr. Wrong again, with the DDC this time. It would be a big waste of money after getting your answer from Ravgen, but getting the same answer from the top two labs in the world should ease your mind. (Right?) (If not, see option one, talk to a counselor.)
Another option is to test with your 10-year boyfriend with Ravgen. (If you can't stand to tell him there's a need for a test, you could do a "discreet" test, using a swab on the edge of a drinking glass, or the guy's toothbrush.) If you look at the pinned material at the top of the DNA/Paternity community, you will see that I always recommend testing with both guys, because one will come up "yes" and the other will come up "no," and each guy's test therefore providing a check of the other's. (Though if asked, I also always would counsel being upfront with your boyfriend about why you want to test, rather than up the sneaky factor by doing a secret test.) Again, testing your boyfriend would be a bunch more money to tell you what you already know. But at least, if one guy gets a yes and the other a no, you can have no more doubt about the lab results.
Regarding being a long-term couple and not getting pregnant, it doesn't sound like you were actively trying to have a baby all the time -- not trying to have unprotected sex on the proper day of every month (as identified by using ovulation test strips) etc. every single month for years, right? If I were asked whose data is the most compelling -- a respected lab measuring the baby's actual DNA in your bloodstream, versus you having sex with someone (when using contraception at least some of that time) and not accidentally getting pregnant, I would go with your lab results.
When you and your boyfriend talk about the pregnancy, one thing that may occur to him (and if not, his buddies will say it to him) is that he should ask you for a DNA test before he signs up to 18 or 21 years of potential child support, guilt, responsibility and worry. But he likely won't want to insult you by saying, "So, what about a DNA test?" One way you can head that off, is to tell him on the day when you tell him you're pregnant, that when the baby is born, you want to do a DNA test right there at the hospital so his paternity is on the baby's legal record. Point out that since you aren't married the law will not just assume he's the dad, the way it would if you were married. And that for the baby's legal rights, you will have to insist on the test being done and in the record. He'll probably get so nervous that you are somehow hinting you want to be married (or are setting him up for a child-support battle) that he'll forget there could be any other reason you might want the test. I assume once you get a test done by going to the lab together with the baby, you'll stop worrying. (Right?)
Good luck! I don't think you have anything to worry about in your lab results.
Thank you! I did tell my boyfriend I was pregnant after I got my results from Ravgen and he infact asked me for a DNA test. However he booked it with DDC, but since you assured me my test with Ravgen is accurate I am feeling positive he will come back beyond 99% as the father. I was just snooping around different forums with people who claimed they received false negatives and was creating anxiety for myself. I will trust my results and trust my boyfriend is the father.
Sounds good. Any time you do a DNA test, do it together, and watch him do his swab and the custody of the swab from the time he does it to it being put into the hand of the lab attendant or other neutral third party. (Don't let him tell you he went to the lab and did it, if there is any possibility that he might send a buddy in his place with his ID. I don't know your situation and maybe he would never do that, but it's been known to happen.)
Also, check this with a family-law attorney or the judge's clerk at the family court in your area of jurisdiction, but I think as legal proof of paternity, the courts will only accept a DNA test done after the baby is born. (Laws don't always reflect science developed in the last decade, and besides, not all DNA labs are as good as Ravgen and the DDC.) It does matter, even if you have already tested with both Ravgen and the DDC and it's obvious the baby is from your boyfriend, because unless you're married when the baby is born (which automatically assigns legal paternity to your husband), you will possibly some day need proof. Everything can start out great and feel lovey dovey and someone will say, "Oh, let's not hassle with the courts." But if things change and the guy bugs out, it's good to have the proof he is the dad for child-support purposes. The baby does have the right to his or her father's support, and having done the DNA test right up front at the hospital when the three of you are a unit prevents a whole lot of issues later. Talk to your doctor to see how to arrange it.
Also, check this with a family-law attorney or the judge's clerk at the family court in your area of jurisdiction, but I think as legal proof of paternity, the courts will only accept a DNA test done after the baby is born. (Laws don't always reflect science developed in the last decade, and besides, not all DNA labs are as good as Ravgen and the DDC.) It does matter, even if you have already tested with both Ravgen and the DDC and it's obvious the baby is from your boyfriend, because unless you're married when the baby is born (which automatically assigns legal paternity to your husband), you will possibly some day need proof. Everything can start out great and feel lovey dovey and someone will say, "Oh, let's not hassle with the courts." But if things change and the guy bugs out, it's good to have the proof he is the dad for child-support purposes. The baby does have the right to his or her father's support, and having done the DNA test right up front at the hospital when the three of you are a unit prevents a whole lot of issues later. Talk to your doctor to see how to arrange it.
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