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I can really relate to the denial part.
I was in and out of denial about my bipolar 1 for sometime.
What finally changed that was charting my moods daily. I was shocked to see the obvious patterns. It shook me up, and I no longer question it, so it was well worth doing.
They have a mood chart on this medhelp site, and u can also use it on an iphone, it is an app called MoodyMe.
The bad days are hard, as you learn more about your bipolar, it will get easier to manage. I manage a bit better, but still hate the lows. They are not nearly as severe as they used to be. Meds have made an enormous difference.
Hang in there, I know it is hard.
Are you on medication for this? If not, why not give it a try so you can at least know for sure if you are.....or are not bipolar. You have to either rule it out or in, and the only way to do this is with medication. If the medication makes you feel better...you have your answer. It's much better to take medication everyday and be able to live a happy and fulfilling life than to struggle with just getting through each day. This is like any other medical condition requiring daily medication to control the symptoms.......if you were told you had diabetes....you wouldn't question it and would take the needed medication....being Bi-Polar is no different. I hope this helps and best wishes.