Borderline Personality Disorder

[John_W]

Has anyone had a friend or Spouse that has BPD? It so were they on Meds? Did you have to talk them into seeing somebody? How did you do it? Reason I am asking is the mother of my children the Love of my life, my soulmate, I think has it. Shows all the traits of it. In the beging she showed the signs the was taking her prescribed Zoloft for anxiety. When she was on that she was great. Since she has been off it she went back to her old ways. and we are no longer together but she has my kids. I need to talk to her about it cause I dont want my kids being raised like that. Any thoughts?

Thanks
John

[woozy]

Oh, I thought it might have had something to do with the side effects..

[John_W]

jrmcjpm:  Thank you so much
Woozy: Lack of health Insurance and she felt they were not doing anything for her.
Just: I have been I dont think there is enough time @ medation. lol Is there any key things I should point out?

[justlikeyou]

make sure you write everything down clearly so you have it to read at the mediation meeting. if you dont, you may come away from the mediation meeting wishing you had remeberd something very important that might have effected to outcome of the meeting,

write everything thats important down, clearly..

[woozy]

why did she stop the zoloft, just curious?

[woozy]

why did she stop the zoloft, just curious?

[jrmcjpm]

mediation is defanitly in the right direction...i wish you the best and you and your family will be in my thoughts! keep me posted....take care of yourself too!

[John_W]

Believe  me Im trying. We go to Mediation on the 10th. Thats were I plan to bring everything up. I myself is going crazy. That maybe Im wrong and I'm the bad parent. But I know that's not the truth. I'm the one trying to kepe them safe not her. But the courts dont look at it that way. They think the kids should be with there mother. I'm not disagreeing with that but to look at each case with the same thought is not right either. I think the only way I can achieve my goal is thru mediation. If I am wrong about the BPD then I have to fight even harder. But if Im right everybody wins in the long run. Kids get a healthy stable relationship between both parents. Either together or apart at least then I know that her head is on straight and that I can trust her again with my kids.

[jrmcjpm]

well, i don't know...how is he with your kids?? it kinda sounds like you still want to be with her..i know it wasn't that long ago that you broke up, BUT, what she did was not only not fair to your children it wasn't fair to you...even if you think its because of the BPD....all i have to say is...and you already know this, the kids must come first and if there not coming first with your ex, then you need to step in and do something! are you able to take them, financially or do you have help if you needed to take them....i know it seems like a drastic step, and you don't want to hurt her or maybe push her further over the edge...but you need to do whats right and you know what that is...i got to a point where i was thinking my kids would be better off without me! and leaving them with their dad...and thats why i went and seeked professional help! i can't leave my kids! ! i hope this doesn't sound harsh and no offense to you at all, but anything you read or see on tv and anyone will tell you that the "MOMMY" is the most important person in a childs life and if she can't be there emotionally as well as physically than YOU as daddy HAVE to step in, because your children will end up resenting maybe even hating their mom and you for leaving them with her...sorry if that hurt...but i have been there as the child and now i see myself becoming like my parents and i had to stop the cycle! if your children stay in an abusive situation and it is a form of abuse...emotional abuse and that sometimes can be worse, they will then do this to their children, trust me! do something about it, please!

[John_W]

Well we use to get along until she when nuts again on me. Now there is another guy. So she is filling the void with him. Instead of trying to solve the problem she hides it with him if that makes any sense. She cheated on me because of this. But like I said she is my soulmate from the first time I ,saw her I felt it. I can look into her eyes at any time and tell her EXACTLY what she was feeling and thinking. With her the problem is if she is with someone they will come first not the kids. He is already 24/7 around my kids and has been since we broke up 2 months ago. I want to go see a therpist with her to help us whether that be help us stay together or help us communicate better for the kids. The way I look at it is there is nothing to lose. She looks at it as I am the @$$ and I should not worry about her .You know the whole Black & White issue

[jrmcjpm]

well, i'm the one that may have BPD and I just went and got help for myself the other day! and the reason i went was for my children. they perscribed celexa and it's only been 2 days on it and i kinda feel a little different already...i was getting really bad...taking it out on my children! 2 and 1 year old...it's defanitly not fair for the children and your doing the right thing, seeking help...do you and your wife get along..have you tried to ask her to go talk with someone...and also if you really think your children are in a bad situation then you as a parent, maybe you can tell her that your going to go to court for custody..that may push her into getting help...you already know that something is wrong and you need to protect your children! i hope things work out for you and your family...being the one that needed help i can tell you that it will not get better! and the one's that will pay for it are your kids....she needs to see that somehow...