Bouncing like a rubber ball...

[6FT2]

I'm all over the show today.  The one moment I am elated to heck and the next I am slithering around on the floor like a puddle of gooo....

The worse is the doubt about things I do/did and then the confidence in what I do/did, just to be dropped right down again.

I am getting frustrated with my condition as well.  I have come to realise that there is almost seven forums that I "fit in to" due to all of the difficulties I have.  It's just driving me nuts ... bonkers ... up the wall.

What makes it unbeareable, is that It is always a case of "maintenance" and slowing down the rate of degeneration rather than cure/prevention.  Nothing seems to be set in stone either.  Diagnosis (Real diagnosis, not internet based), is always a 60% chance that it is "this" or a 60% chance that it is not "that" and nothing further.  It seems like medical science is only equipped to deal with the "normal" problems and not a body-wide glitch that one day causes your chest to ache and the next day makes your knee give in.

Should I have posted this in the venting section?

[6FT2]

Hi LeftCoastChick,

Thank you for your response, it's really appreciated.

I guess I should have been more clear ;D ... but that just goes to show how one's mind works when things are all upside down.  I am diagnosed as Rapid Cycling Bipolar and it might just be time to re-address my medication ... might be getting intollerent.

As for the maintenance...  I am actually talking about my physical condition, as I have Marfan's syndrome.  I still kick against the BP dx, as surely the MFS might be causing my mental state and not necissarily a chem imbalance.  

Last night, I was in serious joint agony and I am wondering if the mood disruption was maybe a prelude to the physical pain.

[LeftCoastChick]

I'll try to address you're initial concern. What you're descrbing is not depression but another mood disorder which you need to seek help for. The sooner you get into see a psychiatrist the better you will feel. You are going through hypomanic mood swings, one minute bouncing then next crashing. It's called rapid cycling. Now it's only my opinion, but folks with just depression don't get your symptoms, I have Bipolar Spectrum Disorder and I still get those ups n' downs, but not as severe - it's more like a bit of anxiety and small bouts of depression. There are no cures for most mental disorders, but maintenance, but it's better then a kick in the pants. Many people live very productive lives. Sure it's no fun, but most of these issues are caused by chemical imbalances and can be well managed so you don't feel weak kneed from anxiety. Get a referral to a pdoc as soon as you can.

Much luck,
LCC