Depression and Anxiety becase of Grief

[Guadalupita]

I lost my husband year and half ago, and one month after that my family doctor decided to put me on 10mg of Lexapro, after 9 months I had a couple of suicidal episodes and he decided to increse to 20mg, during the last 3 months I have been feeling too tired, lack for interest, sleeping 10 to 12 hours, desperated to eat mostly @ evening (gain 40 pound in 1 year) and now my family doctor is adding Abilify 2mg to Lexapro 20mg, I have been only 6 days on it but I went from sleeping 12 hours a day to nothing, from last 6 nights I have slept only 2, I know I am adjusting to the Abilify, Before my husband's passed away I never have any depresion or anxity that I could not handle with some prayer.
Does anybody have use both medications for while? Is there any chance that one day I won't need it any more? How I will know that I do not need it? I am thinking the get off from the medication to see how I feel without that. Do you know how to get off besides cold turkey?

Note ( If my find odd my writing is becase English is my second language)

[Guadalupita]

Thanks for your answers, yes i am in a healthy grief group, and I know this takes time and a lot of work as well as tears and I am commited to keep on it. As far as hobbies I am trying to recuparate my old hobbies, because when I got married everything changed for me starting for a country, language and many things, so bring back part of that old myself from my past has been part of find my new ME. I am as much involved in my church as my full time job let me, I also volunter on OFL, Hospice and I became Stephen Minister during this time of grieving, Also accept all the invitations to go out that my women friends from church make to me (so far I have not any male friend but anyway I am not ready) and keep praying to understand what God wants from me now.
Thank againg for your caring words and God bless you

[remar]

Your English is wonderful. I'm so sorry about your husband. I think anyone in your situation could have problems with depression. This is a possibility that you don't need medication but counseling. A grief support group would probably help you also. Do you have anything like that where you live? You could ask your Dr or call your local churches. Are you spending time with family and friends? Do you have any hobbies? If you do decide to quit your meds you need to do it gradually with your Drs help so you don't have any withdrawal, or very little. We're here any time you want to talk. Remar