He's finally getting help.

[ifsogirl]

So my husband has finally decided to get some help for his depression.  He has been on Effexor for 5 years and Welburtrin for 3 or 4.  Now he is going to get some counselling and see a psychiatrist.  I have found that about 1 month before he decided to get help he started becomeing much angrier.  I have tried to let it go a little more now that he has an appointment set up to see the psychiatrist but that is not until mid April.  He has become very argumentative with me.  He will become frustrated about something and find a way to blame it on me.  Even when it has to do with his work.  He has become more short temperd with the kids, girls age 4 and 18 mos.  And during an argument we had were he blamed me for all the decisions the strata made, yes I am on strata but I am only one vote, he told our older daughter that we were having $ problems and might loose the house.

How do I deal with him at this point?  I know that he will be getting help soon but I can't just let him be an *** whenever he has a bad day.  What are some good coping strategies?  And how do I difuse him when he gets so mad?

[ifsogirl]

Ok so he saw the psychiatrist yesterday and she has diagnosed him with clinical depression.  According to him she said that therapy won't help him as it looks like this is a genetic thing.  (His grandmother was a little unstable and one of his uncles was schizophrenic.) That he will just need to be on meds for the rest of his life.  She changed his meds and said this will make a huge difference in how he feels.

I'm thinking that he may be misunderstading her.  Yes she changed his meds, took him off Effexor and put him on Zoloft, but she has asked that both of us go back in about 6 wks.

Is there anyone out there who is married to someone with this diagnosis?  He is very happy to have a diagnosis that makes sense to him.  He spent most of last night on the web looking it up.  What should I be expecting from the switch in meds?  Or anything for that matter?

[birdie0907]

And ask him to see his own doc for now. Whether he needs meds, or just some different coping strategies or a change in attitude that some programs can provide, a good doc will have experience in helping point him in the right direction.

Also, by starting now with the doc, you will have an idea how accepting he is of the responsibility to own up to his side of the problems. Keep the psychiatrist appointment too, in case he doesn't settle down.

[LeftCoastChick]

See if he can get into the pdoc earlier to start with, even get him on a cancellation list.
I would also talk with him when he's not so angry if possible and set up some boundaries. Being cranky is one thing, letting it rip on the children is another. It sounds like he's got a bit of paranoia, that needs to be quickly addressed. You also need to know what you'll put up with and what you won't because children are involved and they remember everything, trust me on that one, then the scary thing is, they could pick up his behaviours, which is really hard to undo.  I would also talk to your own doctor about this, see if there is someone you can talk to as well, mental illness affects the entire family.

Hang in there, be safe and keep posting!
LCC