What exactly is happening to me, am I normal?

[solopercostituirmi]

I am 17 and for the past 4 months I have been feeling increasingly weird. My psychiatrist has diagnosed me with mild depression and I am on Zoloft as well as Tavor, yet I feel the Zoloft has never properly kicked in which is a somewhat bothersome thought. Everything started towards the end of my high school career, I woke up one day feeling very numb and this feeling of emptiness has been persisting ever since. It has become quite bearable with the passing of time-at first I was quite suicidal-but I still feel like I am down in the dumps with no way to lift myself up. This materializes in different forms in my everyday life: first and foremost, my academic performance which has always been impeccable plummeted considerably as I approached my final exams, and so too my dedication towards school in general. I became really distracted and could no longer summon up the interest in my studies I previously had. Also,  I have a great crowd of friends whom I've always esteemed and deemed better that anyone else around me, yet I now feel as though they do not give me much satisfaction and neither can they quell the loneliness I am experiencing  (but there is really nothing wrong with them, and I am intimate friends with some of the too!). I used to receive so much positive energy from people, and now I just perceive no difference between being surrounded or being on my own. I have an extremely loving father and sister who are doing their best to make me feel better, and yet to me they seem as dispensible as any other person on the planet. I feel as though everything I do is pointless and gives me no pleasure whatsoever, be it partying with my friends,  going to concerts (music has always really piqued my interest),  reading books (I am an avid reader), having sex,  or just doing simple technically pleasurable things such as taking day trips to the lake with some good pals. I can't really form new relationships with anyone, I just feel as though we don'r 'click' and the new people I meet I just really don't care about. I have ruled out relationships because I feel like I am unable to love or experience love. I have abruptly interrupted a fling with a boy I have been really into for a long time, and while I regret this mistake I just feel it was too much work.  What's more I feel somewhat generally impaired, like some part of my brain has been annihilated or something because I have become convinced I am no longer as bright as I used to be. my mind is addled, I sometimes find it hard to compound sentences or mistake words' meanings (for example, today I mistook the concept of "porch" for "gazebo") so I have become paranoid I have some kind of disease. I am constantly tired,  sleeping a lot does not help because waking up in the morning I feel equally as tired as the moment I went to sleep. In two months' time I will be moving to a different country to start uni, and this is scaring the **** out of me for I am firstly scared of not bonding with anyone, and also I've lost interest in my degree. I am not sad, I just feel totally lost and numb, whatever comes my way I can't quite catch it. I often entertain thoughts that are quite scary so this is making me feel like I am off the rocker. All I am asking right now is to feel connected to the world like I used to be, to feel grateful for those around me, to be angry and happy when needs be, to be moved by a song or a movie, to just be able to live without feeling stuck in a rut of abnormality. Can anyone relate and if so what can I do about it?

[Paxiled]

At your age, I'm surprised the psychiatrist didn't send you to a therapist before putting you on medication.  It sounds like you're still functioning, but not happy.  Talking it out with a professional to see if there's a reason for this should have been your first step, in my opinion, especially given how young you are and how common it is for people your age to get into a rut.  

[solopercostituirmi]

I do go to therapy, the problem is that it is not of much use given that we talk about a lot of things about my family, my past etc but we don't seem to have found the spark that lit the fuse. I've been on therapy for about 3 months now

[Paxiled]

You might find CBT a better fit.  Ask your therapist about it.

[solopercostituirmi]

will do that, thank you!!