I don't understand -- your profile indicates you're 34 years old and a transsexual. One would assume that by that age you've already gone through the worst of it, so I'm guessing there's more to the story. There's also a difference between suffering depression and being unhappy about your gender. Depression is a condition, it doesn't need a cause. Sadness or lack of fulfillment aren't the same as depression. Some more info might bring helpful answers.