Contemplating

[Arehxd]

I don't really know where I should begin.  I have been struggling with depression for as long as I can remember.  It feels as though it has been especially difficult lately, and I have been contemplating suicide more days than not for over half a year.  I don't want to put my problems out and I'm not looking for attention; there is no one else that I can talk to without them telling me that I am stupid, and I feel like this is the last shot I have at any sort of advice or consolation or anything.  I don't know what to do.  Will I just "get over" feeling this way?  What can I do to make it stop?  Thank you for listening.

[Arehxd]

I may call the doctor within the next few days and try as you have suggested.  Worst case scenario, I will just have to wait until I can find some insurance.  Thank you, and I truly appreciate the responses I have received.

[mammo]

Since it's only been 2 years since you were last on medication, is it possible that your parents could give you the money to go back to your doctor and get back on medication?
Also, you could ask to make monthly payments to the doctor in explaining your situation.  Maybe he won't expect to see you too often until you have insurance.  There may be a clinic in your area that you could also go to for now.  Hopefully someone will jump on here with some advice regarding this.  Please feel free to write me privately.  I've done and seen it all, and do not judge anyone, I just want to help.  Take care....

[lost_myself]

The last thing you're likely to find here is people that will tell you you're stupid. We're all here for the same reason, we are suffering too. Some of us are new, some have been suffering a while ..some of us are better and proof this is temporary and there are ways to feel better and be better.You will find support and GREAT advice on here and you need to continue seeking support close to you as well.
We've all been in your shoes and had the same thoughts as you for a variety of reasons, the thing we have in common is we are STILL here. What you are thinking about is a permanent solution for a temporary situation ..Kinda like trying to kill a fly with a nuclear bomb. Way too extreme...If you dont care to share your situation with everyone Im am willing to talk to you in private if you want to private  message (PM) me. If you're not comfortable with that because Im a guy Im absolutely sure one of the ladies here would offer the same.. Just know someone is here and we understand.

[Arehxd]

I am 19 years old, and I am currently not on any medication.  I just graduated from high school, and because of that, unfortunately, I have no health insurance.  I am working on getting it back, and then I plan on seeing a doctor about possibly going on medication again (I was on anti-depressants from age 15-17).

Thank you very much for your reply.  It was definitely encouraging to know that someone is out there and understands.

[mammo]

Are you on medication?  If not, make an appointment with a psychiatrist and go from there.  You do not have to suffer with this, considering all the help that is available.  None of us wanted to put our problems out there, but you have to if you want to get better.  This doesn't make you appear to be looking for attention...just help.  Suicide does not mean it will be over, so no need to even go there as you may end up in a worse condition.  Your age makes a big difference in what advice to give you, so if you could let us know if you're under or over 18 it would help us to help you.  We've all been where you are, so know you're not alone, we care, and there is help for you.