my husband passed away

[suzi-q]

andi have been having a very difficult time..he died on August 21 suddenly...only 48 years old and we have a 5 year old daughter..I also suffer from depression for over 15 years and anxieity.....I have been on meds for that long and have recently gone back to therapy and a psychiatrist for meds.  I am and have been on 50 mg of paxil this whole time and now I take 2 mg a day of Klonipin for the anxiety andhe just added abilify2mg at my completely begging for something else to help.  the grief is very bad, but the anxiety and agoraphobia has gotten out of control where i can barely leave my house.  I usually send my daughter out with others on the weekends to have fun, but i have to start going out with her...as a matter of fact, i plan on spending the weekend wth my sister this weekend and the thought is already giving me anticipatory anxiety.....i need help....and i don't know what else to do.i manage to get to work, but it is a struggle all day with the grief and anxiety...and getting my daughter out for school is almost totally unbearable (dry heaving...any suggestions?

[mammo]

It's good that you are so vigilant with your daughter.  It's hard for them to grasp the concept of death at this age.  When I lost my son, his six year old son came up to me at the funeral home and told me I had to be quiet because his daddy was sleeping. It's heart wrenching for everyone, but as adults we can make some sense of it.  Children aren't sure exactly what's happened.  The two of you will get through this together.  I do wish you both all the best.

[suzi-q]

thank you so much for caring...so sorry for your losses also....you know how hard it is to go through grief...and I think I am finally coming out of shock and feeling very lonely...cry quite a lot and care for my daughter the best I can....God bless her, she is doing much better than I am...however, I get concerned because she doesn't seem to be grieving for him and they were very close...i talked to her school (she is in kindergarten) if there are any red lights going up anywhere.

[mammo]

I am so very sorry for your loss.  It sounds like you are doing everything you can for now, I think the therapy and addition of Abilify will help with time.  But I know you need and want help now.  Have you truly mourned the loss of your husband?  Try to let your daughter be your driving force, think of her loss and how much she truly needs you now.  Try to do things that relax you, things that occupy your mind.  Journal your thoughts and feelings, it's very therapeutic, like a form of releasing those feelings. You're enduring so much and I'm sure you're over-whelmed by it all, and it's taking it's toll on you.  I lost a son and grandson, I know your grief.  Keeping your mind and body occupied is the best thing you can do right now.  Cry, feel the anger, whatever it is, let it out.  Always make sure you are breathing deeply, in thru your nose and slowly out of your mouth.  Play games with your daughter, anything to buiild some normalcy into both your lives.  I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, all I can do is empathize.  I am always here if you ever want to talk or just vent.....okay?  Big hugs to you, it will be okay.  Take care.