I ve a question for depressed people.

[michael852]

Here is something I do not get with MD people my gf has it.They say I feel terrible for what I am putting you through.I.E  
no communication,isolation,lack of love ect. Ok if this hurts you so much and you know it then why do it,it seems counter productive to me.

P.s when her bout kicked in there was some communication but now almost 2 months in its trickled down to none at all,am I being played?

[nursegirl6572]

Really, the best thing you can do is educate yourself about the disorder, maybe read a few books.  Unfortunately, you can't change someone, you can be supportive and willing to listen, that is about it.  If her behavior toward you is affecting your relationshop with her...you may need to reevaluate the situation.  Your GF is the one who has not contacted you for quite some time, correct?  You sent her a text the other dsy?

My advice to you is to leave her alone.  If she isn't contacting you, there isn't anything you can do about it.  You have made it clear to her that you are there for her if she needs you.  That's about all you can do.  

Personally, I think you need to reevaluate the relationship.  Mood disorder or not, relationships are about give and take...and she is giving NOTHING.  Not to mention, you have some of your own issues to sort through, I don't think it's very healthy for you to try to hang on to something that honestly doesn't seem like it is there anymore.  I don't know how she can consider you her BF when you haven't spoken for 2 months.  You know?  It's not healthy for YOU to keep hanging on.

Perhaps send her a letter, be brief but clear that you cannot continue on like this, that if she is interested in working on the relationship, she needs to contact you. Be kind, tell her you wish her well and hope she finds peace, but that you also have to think of what is best for you.  

Sadly, people with different disorders often use that as an excuse to behave badly.  I have no idea what the deal is with this girl...she may be playing you, she may not be, but either way...the facts don't lie...you really aren't in a relationship anymore.  I just don't think anyone has officially ended it, which is something you need to think about.  Surely doesn't sound like a healthy arrangement at all.

You cannot have a relationship with someone you have not even heard from in 2 months.  It sounds like she has already moved on.  Maybe it's time you did the same??

[michael852]

Sorry her depression bout is going into its second month,not that we have not spoken in two months. we spoke for a short while like a week ago.  She told me she hates what she is putting me through.I do not want to abandoning ship bc she helped me with my OCD issues(that are better btw) and I do not like to give up easily on people.

[michael852]

p.s I asked her if I was reason for her being in a funk,she said no,she did not know why,but she did tell me that she does have MD and it does come and go every few years I think she said.I ve done a lot research on this about MD and alot of it does fit in with her.

[nursegirl6572]

I'm not sure what to tell you...you say in one post you are getting no communication from her, now you say she does contact you.  In the other thread about the text you sent her, you stated she never replies to any of your texts.  That sure sounds like a lack of contact to me.

In the text thread, you wrote this:
"even tho I ll be honest I do feel neglected and lonely and afraid once this is all taken care of I ll just be a friend( to me thats just painful you know even when you stuck beside that person through everything"...I think those are your true feelings...I think you know the romantic aspect of this relationship is over.

To be brutally honest, I think you are not being real with yourself.  You WANT to believe that your relationship isn't over, that everything that is going on is related to her depression.  I think you are sort of in denial, just my opinion.  It's fine to stick by someone and support them, but I don't think you're beaing realistic at all about the "relationship".  It's hard enough to have a long distance relationship, but to add to that the lack of contact from her, and one-sided nature of your relationship, I just cannot see how it is going to be fulfilling in any way for you.

I think you need to be honest with yourself and do some serious thinking about this.  You can still be supportive without having to be her BF.