I feel i have to tell my parents everything

[volume]

I am 19 years old. I feel very bad.....stressed i feel i have to tell everything about my sexuality to my parents else i feel bad,stupid..i feel stressed and i can not eat.I dislike all things i liked before...absolutly anything is ugly...for me..
everything...
The thing is that i can't not tell my parents everything....i feel ashamed....so what should i do to stop feeling guilty...?
I don't think a therapist would help me...because it has to do with my parents...my dad would make me feel guilty when i was smaller....he screamed at me,,ofend me,beat me...sometimes force me to do what he wanted..
I am not in peace with myself.....it's a feeling that to have my life back..(enjoy it) i must tell my parents evertything about my sexuality...all that  i am am ashamed to tell..... (for example i had an erotic dream with my mom...it's very hard to tell this to them..)and other things...Recently because i was feeling very bad..depressed i told them about me masturbating....and it helped me ...but now i feel i have to tell them more about my sexuality...so i told them how i would masturbate..and it helped me...but now i feel i have to tell them even more...i feel i need to become clean...absolutly clean..in front of them .in order to enjoy life...to feel good about myself...
To be honest i am not sure you can help me...because i know i have to tell them everything i am ashamed of especially about my sexuality...i think it is the only answer...(but it is very hard to do).
Sometimes i think myabe if they would tell me you don't have to feel guilty..and don't have to tell us everything you are ashamed of...may be my subconscious mind would finally relax and stop feeling bad and guilty?
DO you think it might work?

[trakazoss]

I think, you have oedipus complex. You can read about this in wikipedia.org

The Oedipus complex, in Freudian psychoanalysis, is named after the Greek mythical character Oedipus, who unknowingly kills his father, Laius, and marries his mother, Jocasta. According to the theory, the complex appears between the ages of three and five. The child feels sexual desire for the parent of the opposite sex and desires the death of the parent of the same sex.[1] Freud first put forth the theory in these words:

“ His destiny moves us only because it might have been ours –- because the oracle laid the same curse upon us before our birth as upon him. It is the fate of all of us, perhaps, to direct our first sexual impulse towards our mother and our first hatred and our first murderous wish against our father. Our dreams convince us that this is so.[2] ”

As understood today,[3] the Freudian Oedipus complex has two poles. The "positive pole" implies hatred and a death wish for the parent of the same sex (father for boys and mother for girls), and love and attachment towards the parent of the opposite sex. The "negative pole" implies the hatred and death wish directed at the parent of the opposite sex, and love for the parent of the same sex. Although common usage refers to "suffering from an Oedipus complex", psychoanalysis does not consider the complex a pathology, but instead a normal stage that all children go through. Oedipal desires are thought to remain heavily repressed and unconscious in the minds of all functioning adults.

[trakazoss]

Some people become more depressed in the winter months when days are shorter and darker. The sun and bright light seem to trigger a response to a brain hormone known as melatonin (produced by the pineal gland), which is, in part, responsible for preventing the "blues." Stay in brightly-lit rooms on dark days. Research reveals that two hours of morning sun is very effective in lifting depression. The evening light had comparatively little results.

[trakazoss]

I'm sorry of my bad english. I did not learn english at skool, and I don't have a dictionary (to look, how to spell it right)

I had have bad relationship with my parents... what resulted in depression as a consequences, even so childhood was long long ago

Well, parents are as differen as people are diferen. Also child abuse is different from one family to other.... so, what I experianced might be different from your experiances

*****
When I was teenager, I was weiting for my 18 birthday, to have right to leev my parents. When I was 19 years old I vas living on my own and did not have any contact to my parrents

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You are on the right track..you can ask your parents to release you from the responsibily of telling them everything...that will help if they do that. But more important for you is that you give yourself the right to privacy at your age, and that you accept the gift of individuality and your own pending adultness, and adult rights to  own your own body and your own mind.  I disagree with you re the therapist..it is the best thing you could do for yourself...tell the therapist instead of your parents, and solve the problem of an enlarged guilt gland.