Hello,
I am a 21 year old male and I have suffered from performance anxiety my entire life. When I was 15 I was given oral sex for the first time and I went soft after about 5 minutes. Then about a year later with my first actual girlfriend it took me almost 6 months to be able to remain hard enough to have sex with her. Once we finally were able to all was good, but whenever I am single and looking for a new partner, these thoughts of being with a new person and getting hard creep into my head and haunt me.
It is at its worst whenever I try to get with a new partner. Usually after being able to have sex one time with a new partner, it goes away and we are able to have sex whenever and it is great. However, it is super frustrating not being able to get it up when I am with a new girl that I want to be with. I have found myself with some beautiful women and have not able to get it up at the moment of truth and its super embarrassing and scarring. I feel so much pressure with new women and it has really been consuming me lately. I have had some success in just straight up telling the girl what is going on and this happens with every new parnter. Then after about an hour I settle down and we have sex. But I would really like to be able to avoid this super awkward conversation and just get into the moment.
I am totally confident the problem is solely in my head and psychological, so I don't want to rely on ED medication for this in fear that it will make my psychological issues worse. Does anyone have any advice on how I can overcome this?