Just need support

[Carla0731]

I wanted to introduce myself. I need a support group of people that can understand how heartbreaking infertility can be. Here is a brief background of my struggles.

DH and I have been married for 7 years. We started TTC from the first month of our marriage. After a few years of trying we began infertility treatment. At the same time we began looking into adoption. About six month into our treatment (and no BFP) we adopted three children from the foster care system. About a year later we still had a burning desire to have a biological child. We went back to our RE and tried again for a year to no avail. Although my RE never blamed my weight I always felt like it played a role in our infertility as I weighed nearly 300 lbs. Although my husband didn't want to put our TTC journey on pause I decided to take a year and a half off of trying and had weightloss surgery. I am now at my (and my drs goal weight of 145 lbs). For the first time in our entire relationship I am ovulating on my own. After we got the go ahead from my weightloss doctor we began trying naturally. After 6 unsuccessful months we sought the help of our Re. This is our first cycle with her. She confirmed my ovulation on day 17 and has me on progesterone because I have had short LP the past few months. I broke down and took an Internet cheapie HPT today and it was BFN. I have my beta tomorrow, but I have little hope now.

I just needed to find someone to connect with before I go insane. I honestly feel like I will never get a BFPand wonder why I am doing this to myself- chasing a dream that will never come true.

[Carla0731]

Des-

My cramping got really bad after I lost the weight and started to ovulate on my own. With each month that passes and I get more and more regular the cramps get worse and worse. I am taking clomid and I am a bit nervous as to how this will effect me when (if) my period starts.

I just wanted to say that this sight has really helped already. For the first time in a very long time I have hope that I will one day have a baby. It is helpful to read stories about people just like me, that have tried so many years and finally gotten there BFP. It really does give me hope!

[angella400]

stay strong, i did a myomectomy on july 4, 2011. diagnose before that with PCOS syndrome, had my last period in November 22, 2011, experiencing all the signs of pregnancy, did 3 pregnancy test that all return negative.
I decided to just enjoy mylife and what i have. and Hopefully if it is God,s will i may have children.  i think we should just find something else to occupy that yearning until baby comes.

[TAGLAS]

Hi sorry to hear about you struggles w/ infertility. Fertility treatments can be very expensive and a stressor in it's own right. Just wanted to say don't''t give up hope, we're all here for support.

HAHPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

[Des_a_rae]

So sorry hun!  I don't even test myself anymore.  I'm sick of seeing negative after negative, so when AF shows,  that gives me my answer.  I know what you mean about insurance as well.  My insurance covers NOTHING which is a shame actually.  It is very expensive but luckily I was able to get my clomid at walmart for only $9, that was for the 50 mg.  When they bumped it up to 100 mg's it was still only $18.  That's the least expensive thing you can do lol.  Everything after that costs an arm and a leg it seems.  I'm not sure about you, but I can only afford the IUI's also, probably be trying that this year sometime.  IVF is completely out of the question.  One round here in B'ham is $17,000. :(   I know there are insurance companies that cover this, or partly this, I just wished I could get into one of them.  Right now we're doing the same, out of pocket. :(
As for periods I do the same.  It's god awful.  That's one of the reasons I HAVE to get this done asap.  I can't live like this anymore.  The pain is undescribable, my endo is back I'm sure and I'm just tired of it all.  Do you always have painful periods as well?   Ugh, I always wonder why can't this be easy. :(  Anyways, sorry for rambling, I hope AF is out of there soon!!  I still have 3 days left of mine.  Best of luck hun, please keep us updated!! :)

[Carla0731]

Thank you both for your responses. They couldn't have come at a better time. I got the dreaded call 2 days ago that I am not pregnant and I am going through a period from h*** right now. I went in for an ultrasound yesterday and all looks good. For the first time I didn't have a cyst and I have been given clomid. To hopefully make me produce more eggs. We are also doing an IUI this month. Although I know I shouldn't think like this I keep seeing dollar signs. I forgot just how expensive all this can be, especially when insurance doesn't cover it.

It was really good to read your posts. It is helpful to know there are people out there that understand what you are going through.

[Des_a_rae]

I too want to say congratulations on your weight loss, that's amazing!! :)  You're very determined that's for sure and that plays a huge part in TTC.  I have been married for 12 yrs and TTC for 9 of those. I'm not sure what's going on with myself also because I know I ovulate on my own like yourself usually on Cd 17 sometimes through cd 19 but always every month.  Had surgery for Endo, cyst on fallopian tube and polyp in the middle of my uterus.  Hubby has YET to submit a SA.  I have god awful periods and I think he uses me as an excuse..he'll say..." if you're hurting that much now, what if you get pregnant, will it be worse?  I want to find out what's wrong with you first".  I'm going to be sitting him down soon and having that SA talk with him again, I can't live hurting like this anymore, month after month.  Anyways, sorry for blabbering, just wanted you to know we're all here and going through the same thing!!  Whether it's IVF, trying naturally or what not...we're all TTC!!  Best of luck to you!! :)

[wantalilmiracle]

First I would just like to tell you congratulations on your weight loss.  It's so important to take care of your body and yourself, especially when you want to have a healthy baby.  We all feel the same, it seems like there will never come the time when we get to tell people we are pregnant or the time where we get the opportunity to hold our baby for the first time.  We have to stay strong and remember why we are going through all this and just keep moving forward as needed.I wish you luck!