Donor agencies in NYC?

[labbatts]

Hello all:

This is my first post and I am hopoing someone will be able to help me.  I am 40 yrs old and have been trying to conceive for 4 years.  5 failed IUI, 2 failed IVF, 3 miscarriages.  I am not hopeful to get pregnant with my own eggs anymore.. I am a poor responder and only had one egg transfer in my last IVF (did get pregnanct but miscarried after 6 weeks).  I go to Cornell and am very happy with my Dr.  I am looking into donor agencies.  I know Cornell has donor eggs but I want to have a large pool to choose from.  Also, I would like to see adult photos of the donor and Cornell does not do that.  If anyone has used a donor agency in NYC I would appreciate your response and opinion.  

Thanks.  Good luck to anyone TTC!

[labbatts]

I am resigned to the fact that if I want a child (which I do more than life itself), I must use a donor egg.  It took me a while to come to this.  I did my fair share of crying and feeling of self pity, but in the end, I realized what a gift an egg donor is.  I don't know about you, but I did have guilty feelings, like it was my fault for waiting so long, for pursuing my career before a family.  But what can you do... what is done is done.  Suprisingly, I found support in these Internet groups.  Just seeing that other people have gone through the same disappointments as I,  has given me more strength.  Do you have any doubts about the egg donor?  Take care.

[xyxy]

Hi. You will want to confirm but I think the 24K is for a shared cycle. I believe full cycle is in the 30s.

The stats are excellent. I think it basically comes down to whether they have a good selection of donors and if they can match us physically.  

I have my list of questions started for my appt in September. I am out of town, so I am doing all of the meetings on the same day.

How are you doing with all of this? You sound very resolute. That is good.

[labbatts]

Hi.  I only met with the psychologist.  Everyone has to do that first.  She said that if we do an agency, Cornell will do all the tests again.  They do not rely upon the agency.  So yes, I think it will be more expensive.  I do not know how many donors in the Cornell bank.  I have a second appointment, with (I think) the administrator next week.  I will ask about the waiting time then. I also think we can see childhood photos.

My dr. said that there is between a 50% to 70% chance of sucess with donor eggs.  The physchologist said they have 60% live birth rate.  Much better than the 10% rate with my own eggs.

I will find information about the drugs next week.  That was not discussed.  I do not know what the majority of people do.  I can ask that next week as well.  

I will write after my next appointment.  This seems like a real good option.  It is very expensive (I think it was estimated at 24K), but well worth it.  Take care.  

[xyxy]

Thanks for writing back. I've only talked with the coordinator and she said that we see pics of the donor from when they were 4 to 6 years old. I wasn't crazy about that either. We are basically leaving it in the hands of "others" that don't have anything invested to make the selection for us. Did you find out how many total donors Cornell has from which to choose currently?

I have not studied the materials closely, so I don't know what all the hurdles are to go with an outside agency. I am wondering if it could actually take longer? are there more steps and complications? are they screened as carefully? is it considerably more expensive? etc. etc.I am wondering what the majority of people do? I would guess they go outside, but who knows.

Did they give you a % of likely success of live birth w/donor? I am wondering about that. Did they give you a sample protocol for the "mock" and the actual? I am wondering what kind of drugs we have to take.

As you can see I have lots! of questions. What are your next steps?

[labbatts]

I had my appointment with Dr.  Went very well.  She aslo said that we could possibly get a donor within 3-4 months.  I also received a list of donor agencies that they use.  I don't know if I will use Cornell or agency?  What do you think you are going to do?  I would like to see a photo, but Cornell does not show them.  Also, at agency's, we get to choose, whereas at Cornell, they choose a match for you based on your requirements. what to do, what to do?  

[labbatts]

3-4 months is much better.  I will let you know how my session goes on Tuesday.  I know this is overwhelming, but the end result will be worth it!!!  

[xyxy]

Hi! I called the DE dept and they sent me a list of agencies they work with. They also sent additional docs that provide more detail to the process. It's all very overwhelming and I am very, very emotional and sad right now, yet grateful that this is even an option. I'd be happy to share the information with you but I can't attach docs here. I did talk to someone today and they said the wait could be much less depending upon an individuals specific requests, i.e. specific religious or ethnic backgrounds, etc. Some are matched as quickly as 3 or 4 months. So that's more hopeful.

[labbatts]

I have an appointment next week and will let you know what they say.  When I spoke to the DE department, they advised that the wait may be less as they are getting more donors than usual. Did you hear the same?  Let's share information as I do not want to wait 9 months either.  

[xyxy]

Hi there, I just read your post and am hoping that you are still logging on. I am just getting started with DE thru Cornell. My information meeting is Sept 9th. I have a call in for a listing of other agencies as the wait at Cornell is 9 to 12 months. Please let me know what you learn. Best of luck!

[mysty2001]

cooper center in New jersey has a TERRIFIC donor embryo program
Also, the center for national donor embryos is great if you are married

[labbatts]

Thanks.  I did not know that Cornell will offer other agencies.  I have a meeting with them in 2 weeks so I suppose I will ask then.  

Thanks again.

[ace918]

hi. cornell's donor program should offer you information on donor agencies they work with - if they didnt do that, ask them and I bet they have the info.  I am at Columbia and gave me a few other agencies to work with simultaneously if Iwanted to.

Good luck!