IVF - How bad is it?

[travelcat7]

Hi all,
We've been TTC for the past five years.  My husband had two vasectomy reversals (2nd one worked) and yet we still couldn't conceive despite his amazing numbers (completely normal range).  I started infertility testing 7 months ago and have been on clomid only for 3 months and now clomid, HCG trigger, progesterone & IUI for the last few.  Next week is my last IUI.  If it doesn't work, they recommend considering IVF.  I'm 35.

All of this has been so far out of my comfort zone, but I have pressed on.  I admit, I'm a wimp and hate needles so the thought of injections and the retrieval freak me out a bit, but I know the end result would be worth it.

Nine people in my department are pregnant right now, as is my best friend.  That certainly doesn't help. :)

For anyone who hesitated, has it been better or worse than you thought?  How many cycles did it take for the BFP?

Thanks & best of luck to you all.

[trh0819]

Totally understand hesitation. My RE recommended IVF at our first consult but I wasn't ready. We went through 4 failed IUIs and two cyst aspirations before I finally agreed. I was afraid of the shots, the hormones, the cost, the "tampering with God's plan", the process as a whole, and mostly the idea of it not working. I'm only in the early stages-- just finished 2ww and got a BFP-- but as I was going through, I actually couldnt believe how easy it was. My RE helped us so much during our consultations and made my DH very comfortable. That made a huge difference, too. Throughout the injections, I felt like I was able to control more. I had something to do every day. I had a calendar to follow. I had check points. Unlike the IUIs, the IVF was so structured and I liked that. The shots were completely painless... after the first try  :-)  Progesterone... not so much but I use a heating pad after and it's totally fine. The only thing that I found to be complete torture was the 2ww. Honestly, that was the hardest part in all of this. The rest was completely manageable. I would absolutely do it again... although I pray I never have to! So far, so good.

[Chelsea74]

I had a similar decision to make very recently. After 4 cycles of Gonal-f with timed intercourse (ChemPreg on the 2nd) DH and I began to ask about the next steps. We were told that there was little more to be gained with IUI (as DH has no problems) and the best next step for us would be ivf. We were very unsure at first as it seemed like such a big step, but given I was already using Gonal-f with trigger, when I found out what ivf involved it didn't seem like such a huge step after all. At the same time, the increase in our chance of having a family with ivf is significant. We previously thought ivf was not a path we would ever take, as you said, if it doesn't happen it wasn't meant to be, but we feel very differently now. We know that we will never regret doing ivf whether it results in a family for us or not, but down the track we may very well regret not giving it a chance and doing everything we could.
I wish you all the very best on your journey and in making this decision!
Chelsea

[ck71]

Thank you so much for your great explainations regarding IVF because I was completely clueless.  And congrats to so many of you that got a BFP after your first IVF!  I just got AF after my first IUI and have been very discouraged at the amount of failed IUI procedures I have read about.  Although I told myself if IUI didn't work after 3 attempts I was done trying...I have found myself thinking about IVF.  Just not sure I want to go that far.  We have a beautiful and fiesty 3yr old daughter who was conceived naturally and very quickly.  We debated having another and then when we decided to try I thought it would be quick and easy again.  Think again.  After trying for 6 months found I had a blocked tube.  That was resolved and tried for a few more months.  Kept telling myself if this doesn't happen naturally it wasnt mean to be.  Then decided to have my husbands sperm tested and found his motility and morphology was off.   So even though i had said I wouldn't turn to procedures we found ourselves considering IUI.  I am very lucky in that my insurance coverage is amazing and will pay for multiple IUI and IVF so why not try.  So now I find myself in place where I am now thinking about IVF when i never imagined I would consider it.  I will be turning 39 in Sept and feel as if I am in a time crunch.  I am going to do an IUI this month since I am already scheduled to start meds this Fri and u/s next Wed.  But if this doesnt work what would all of you do in my situation?  Continue on with a few more IUIs or jump to IVF?  

[waitingonourlittleone]

Two more things:
    -The meds gave me wicked headaches - I was allowed to take tyenol it helped some,  
              I then eliminated caffine - that helped much more!  (My RN said it was prob the  
              lupron)
    -I would do the whole IVF procedure again if I had to.  

[Chelsea74]

I know what you mean, after what you have been through it’s hard to relax and enjoy it.  It would be so wonderful to be blissfully ignorant to any possible problems and to just sail through without a care – but unfortunately that is not to be for us – our journey comes with fear and anxiety but we will still get there, just a rockier road. There’s absolutely no reason to think blighted ovum, but you know that already and it doesn’t help to hear it. I think only the passage of time can help (and a reassuring 6 week US will go a long way). Hang in there, this is your time!!

[waitingonourlittleone]

I agree with alot of what has been posted before.  Sometimes the idea of interfering with nature worries me, I start to feel guilty - then I think about BC, and the clomid, and I figure -I've been interfering with nature for quite a while already so.....whats a little more??  It seems to me like the whole world is getting preg. recently :)  home and work no excape... I try to be happy for them, and to understand when I need to be sad for me.  
     I have/had a needle phobia, after 5 months of Infertility treatment you get alot of practice :)  which is good if your moving on to IVF because you will have needed it.  
     The abd shots were fine (make sure you rotate your sites)- although I also became overwhelmed towards the end and had my moments of "I just don't want to" - with tears.  My wonderful husband would hold me tell me he knew and "just keep thinking baby" - we got through it - I also prefered him to give the shots (I'm the RN - he gives them better - go figure!)  When the meds arrive - it is very overwhelming - Just remember your not taking all of those at once - and you'll be told each step what to take and how to take it.  It becomes a routine.
     The Progest. shots are not fun!  - but if you ice the area you won't feel the shot -  you may feel some heaviness as the meds settle into your bottom and it's painful at times - it does seem to get better with time - I was allowed to take tylenol and did when I needed to in the beginning.  I also had my sites marked - This was something I had to ask for - and it made me feel better to know we were doing it right.  I have had to give my own shots - at times I have found my dominate side is easy and the other needs a partner :)  
     The egg retrieval was the simpliest part of the whole process!  I cried as they brought me into the OR and strapped me to the table - then placed my IV - I just couldn't help it....But the RN held my hand, and the anasthesiologist talked me to sleep - The next thing you know...your awake and done!  The transfer is like the water sono - you really have to pee - I needed to concentrate while they were pushing and prodding :)  But it's ok because you watch the embros go in, and start to get excited -   then.....you....wait......  I'll tell you more when I know

[seattleview]

To be honest, I am not sure how I feel about having gone through the IVF process. After TTC for 2.5 years and experiencing an ectopic last year, the pregnancy isn't real to me yet.  Part of it I think is that I'm trying not to get my hopes up since I know there are still a lot of hurdles we have to make it over (for example I've been obsessing about the possibility of a blighted ovum since I've read that's the cause of almost half of all first trimester miscarriages).  Hopefully I will be feeling better about everything after my 6 week ultrasound when at least the blighted ovum question will be resolved.

[Chelsea74]

seattleview - I totally understand what you are saying about the idea of it, it's just not the way any of us ever imagined we would be going about starting (or adding to) our families. As it is our best option right now, I think I have to just put it out of my mind and focus on the happy ending. Do you feel ok about it now that you are there?

I definitely plan to keep it private but I know it's not going to be easy - that is the part that I am most stressed about. Just saying you have an appointment is a good approach - no one would ever ask for more info, I'm sure.  

It sounds like some clinics are ok with doing the progesterone shots yourself and others not - hoping mine is ok with it as that's really the only option - I can imagine it is not easy or fun. mlb1234 - drawing circles on your butt sounds pretty funny, but a great idea!

jamaicababy - lots of babydust for your FET in July!

Chelsea

[mlb1234]

I have had to do almost all my progesterone injections myself.  dH works ights and that was when they said to give it.  If he gives it to me it is easy and I can't even feel it.  To give it to myself I have to use a mirror.  Because I can't put the needle in as fast it hurts just a tad as the needle hits the skin but once it pierces the skin I can't feel anything.  It is slow to inject and I have to do it with one hand.  I have found it easier to do on my left side and save the right side for when dh is home!  It's not the best but you get used to it fast.  I don't think it is dangerous to do to yourself as long as you know where it is supposed to go.  I had the nurse draw circles on my backside so I knew where to put it the first day!!  

I also was able to keep the IVF quiet but I have a very flexible job.  I just stop there in the morning on my way to work.  Many Re clinic have early hours so you are able to do this.  For the transfer I just took a sick day as I was supposed to be on bedrest anyways.  My retrieval was on a weekend so that didn't matter.

[jamaicababy]

As all the other women said, the needles and procedure sounds worse than it actually is. I too was afraid of needles before starting the process, my husband did all my injections and they weren't as bad as I thought they would have been. Some days I did feel really horrible but i think it was mainly the stress of it all and the side effects.

This was our first IVF and unfortunately it was not successful :( we will be doing a FET in July hopefully.

The ER was ok a bit painful at the end but I had some issues which isn't the norm. Was bloated and uncomfortable before and after but it passed after about a week. I just kept thinking of the end result and the feeling we would have when we got a positive alas it was negative. I do believe though that it will happen and i am keeping my positive thoughts.

Good luck and just be positive, try and avoid stress. I am a high stress person but kept focused. It will not be as bad as you imagine and hopefully your first go will be successful! I didn't do progesterone shots I did suppositories and those were a pain. Also it is true you have to have a flexible job as the check ups are often and the retrieval and transfer all take time. I am lucky my job isn't that flexible but my boss knew what i was going through so it became flexible.

Good luck to you all waiting on results and congrats to those who got a positive.

[seattleview]

For me it's not the injections themselves that are so bothersome. They obviously aren't my favorite thing to do every day and some days they definitely hurt worse than others, especially the daily progesterone injections in the butt, and sometimes the pain does make me cry. But to me the worst part of the injections is just the whole idea of them - their symbolism and meaning I guess you might say. Hope that makes sense.

My husband will be out of town for my last daily progesterone injection, and since I have read online that many women seem to be able to do these on their own, I asked my IVF coordinator about it and she said there is no way I should attempt to do this myself because there's too much risk of doing it wrong and/or hurting myself.

We have been able to keep our process private the entire time and do not intend to ever tell people about it. It helps that we both have flexible jobs and non-questioning supervisors. For the week of the ER and ET I simply told my boss I was having a couple medical procedures done and that I would have to take a couple sick days that week. For all the lead up monitoring appointments, I told her I had doctor appointments - and I told my staff I had "appointments" without even adding what kind. For all the phone calls, I either close my office door and try to speak quietly, or go find a faraway unoccupied area of the building to make/take calls. No one's asked and I don't think anyone has suspected. The one thing I have been a little anxious about is maybe having surprise visitors to my house before I have a chance to hide all the meds, needles, and other supplies. So far so good!

[Chelsea74]

Travelcat7 - thank you for your question on all the extremely helpful information from those who responded! I hope your next IUI brings a BFP and a ticket off this rollercoaster!

I am at a similar point to you in my ttc journey.  I am 35, got pregnant naturally but miscarried, then tried clomid (3 cycles – no preg) and follistim with hcg trigger - chemical pregnancy on the 2nd cycle (currently in the 2ww of the 4th cycle). It seems it is time to move on.

I always thought that if you could get pregnant ivf wasn't much help but my RE says otherwise and it fits with what you said usuk about eliminating risk factors - I still don't fully I understand though so any more information you can provide would be very welcome :)

Having used follistim (commonly used to stimulate follicle growth in an ivf cycle) I can tell you those injections are nothing to worry about, and while the HCG trigger is bigger it's still no problem. I haven't had to do butt shots but I'm sure we will both tackle those too as others here have. Question though, is it possible to do the butt shots yourself? My DH has serious needle phobia so if I can't do it myself I'm pretty short on options there.

The point usuk made about the difficulties with keeping it private are not something I had considered yet - how did others deal with this?

From reading all the posts, it sounds like ivf is challenging but doable and well worth it! We were going to wait until mid July to start ivf but just found out that mid June is an option - I almost wish it wasn't as that is so soon but we are thinking maybe we should just close our eyes and dive in the deep end - and as duckiebearie said, just focus on the end result.

Seattleview – huge congratulations and thank you for your account of your experience with ivf.

Huge congrats to all who got a bfp!! It’s very exciting and encouraging to read your stories and to see how many were on the first try.

Travelcat7, nshapland and Kimber1101  - Please let me know what you decide.

Chelsea

[seattleview]

For me, it was every other day over a period of eight days while on the stims. But it's not just the monitoring appointments, you have to be available to take phone calls later in the day after each of the those appointments as well, which might be challenging in a non-flexible environment.  Then you'll miss 1-2 days for the egg retrieval, and another 1-2 days for the transfer.  I am very lucky to work in a flexible environment with a supervisor who doesn't ask questions.  I just told her I was having "two medical procedures" done that week and that was that.

[Kimber1101]

How often do you have to go in for monitoring during the IVF cycle?  Is it really every other day or is it just in the beginning while your taking the stims?  I am concerned about how much time away from work - not a flexible company.  Just curious how others have dealt with it.

[pregnancylove12]

i did progesterone injections for a month or so and then i switched to crinone gel till i was 11 weeks pregnant. crinone was a million times better than injections but they say injections are more effective. so it is a balancing game.

[mlb1234]

My Re has you do progesterone shots until you get a positive beta then you switch to the crinone gel.  Both are fine.

[mlb1234]

I just finished my first IVF and just got a BFP (still very early though).  I am 40y and was like you - very hesitant at first but for some reason just kept marching down that road.  I did not like that it would not be very "natural" (as in mother nature choosing the egg and sperm) but if I get a child out of it I don't think that will bother me.   I fretted about freezing embryos that wouldn't be used but most people don't have any to freeze (as was my case).  As I was going through all the injections, etc I did not think it was bad but I did have to be organized.  It was a lot of work but once you see that BFP it is worth it.  The subQ injections are cake - no need to worry about those.  The IM's are more difficult but some Re's don't have you do any - it just depends on what they prescribe.  They don't actually hurt much just hard to do to yourself.  The days before the retrieval - depending on how many eggs you have - can be uncomfortable but not terrible.  I was glad to get them out though.  The transfer again is very easy.  If you really want a baby IVF gives you the best odds in the shortest amount of time.  Just don't wait too long - it is more successful the younger you are.  

[duckiebearie]

IVF gives u a good chance. Don't worry about the needles and medications.. just focus on the end results. I had my 1st IVF in may and am now in week5 of pregnancy. and I am 39.
go for it...

[mysty2001]

I highly recommend using donor embryos!
It is more successful, less stress on your body, much cheaper and you save lives by doing it!
Good Luck

[nshapland]

Do most REs use the progesterone shots?  My RE said he uses the Crinone gel.  Has anyone used the gel for IVF?  Or did everyone do the shots?

[feather2e]

I did 6 IUI's that were cancelled  due to overresponding to meds. I got pregnant with my first IVFand my son is now 19 months. I would have skipped the IUI's and did IVF right away if I had not got pregnant naturally the second time.

[travelcat7]

seattleview - congrats

Congrats to all of you have had a successful journey so far.  Best of luck to the rest of you and thank you for sharing your experiences.  

[seattleview]

Want to let you know I got my official BFP today!  HCG = 268.  Back in on Friday to make sure level is increasing appropriately.

[pregnancylove12]

I am DEATHLY afraid of needles and that was my biggest concern going into IVF. But we tried IUI 4 times and it didn't work, so this was our only option. I am not going to lie because the box of meds that came to my house was a little intimidating. My hubby did all of my shots and I NEVER looked at the needle and to be quite honest...it wasn't to bad. It was a lot easier than i thought it would  be and a very good friend told me that I wouldn't remember the needles when I was in the labor room. Well the first IVF worked and I don't even remember the needles now and I am only 18 weeks pregnant! It is truly worth it in the end (it even brought my hubby and i closer together in a weird bonding way)
Lots of sticky vibes.....
P.S. the only shot that ***** is progesterone and that doesn't start till after the retrival, so get a nice warming pack and apply it to the area and you will be as good as new!