Really need your precious advice on what to do!

[Keep_alive_kicking]

I am 39.5 and after 2 failed IVFs I will move to donor eggs.
I have a fibroid which in the past year has grown from 3cm to 5cm.
My doctor recommends surgery before moving to donor because my fibroid might affect implantation and cause miscarriage.
Surgery to remove the fibroid is a quite big surgery and there has to be a general surgeon together with my gynecologist just to make sure that I am opened correctly and because I have had 2 major surgeries in the stomach area years ago they have to be extra careful. Recovery time before moving to donor would be 8 months.
Today I went to see another specialist for a second opinion on the fibroid and I really got confused. He gave me a vaginal ultrasound and he basically said that if I were his wife he would recommend trying a donor egg cycle first and if that succeeds and results in a miscarriage I should then have the big surgery to remove the fibroid. He admitted that it is risky to have the fibroid and be pregnant and there is a good chance of miscarriage but he would take the risk with me. If a pregnancy is achieved and then I miscarry I can have the surgery then and then use the frozen embryos which hopefully I will have left.  
I am really confused dont know what to do because my standard doctor (who knows my uterus maybe more thoroughly) insists on me having the operation.
I would really appreciate any opinion, help, ideas I could get from all medhelp friends who can understand my longing to have a child more than anybody else.
Thank you for reading this.

[journey2motherhood]

HI,

I know its very confusing.  I keep asking why is it ok for me to go ahead with my own eggs if I'm risking anything with this fibroid.  The RE told me because of your age, we don't want to waste the time waiting for recovery, etc.  I don't know really what is right anymore.  I'm just starting the next cycle of IVF (just on Bc now) and I'm frustrated already.  My patience is running out, I just hope this one works.  ugh.  
Please keep in touch and let me know what you decide and how you make out.  
Hang in there, you're not alone, I am here if you need me.

[pgplanner]

Just a couple of comments about using the donor egg.   It was a 5 month wait for our donor egg (due to her never having donated before and having to pass medical and psych tests).   Another factor that affects the wait is if the donor is already in a cycle to give her eggs to someone else (then of course you'll have to wait),
We've used donor eggs twice now and there were NO eggs left over for freezing either time due to going to a 5 day blast transfer (I heard there's a better chance some eggs survive for freezing if you do a day 3 transfer).  
I'm curious about the criteria for that Attain program if you use donor eggs to help with the expense.  I called and couldn't get straight information - I'm wondering because Attain makes you use fresh, then frozen cycles, they might not grow the embies out to 5-day blast (because then there is little or none for freezing).  Any comments about the Attain program from someone who's researched more or actually used the program?!

[Keep_alive_kicking]

Hi there!
The plan was the same with me also... to try a couple of times with my egg and when moving to donor have the surgery to remove the fibroid.
It is all so confusing because there are women who have huge fibroids and get pregnant naturally and they carry the baby to term.
I want to follow my heart (always do) but most of the time it does not take me anywhere good :)
I am thinking of seeing another gynecologist... maybe I need to fail one more time with donor before I feel ready for the surgery. Really... I dont know...
Thank you. Good luck to you too!

[journey2motherhood]

Hi,

I just came across your post and I also have a fibroid.  Mine is in the back of my uterus and is about as big as a grapefruit.  I've had 4 IUI's and 3 IVF's none resulting in a pregnancy.  I am going to do IVF one last time with my own eggs but I can tell you that my RE is removing my fibroid before going on to donor eggs.  

He doesn't want to take the chance in me having to use a donor and the expenses to have this fibroid interfere with the implantation.  The interesting thing is my ob/gyn is sure that this is preventing me from getting pregnant.  I don't know the whole thing confuses me, but I will have it removed if this does not work with my own eggs this time around.  

You have to do what is best for you, so follow your heart! Good luck to you!

[Keep_alive_kicking]

Thank you girls for your answers.

Usuk: I really dont know how many months will it take for donor. I will ask my doctor tommorrow. The thing that frightens me with the surgery is that I have had 2 big ones in the best on my belly already so they have to be really careful when they open me again. Also I want to kind of hide it from my family (mum, sister etc) because it will frighten them (I am a cancer survivor and they have been through a lot with me) and may be they will not be as supportive as I would like them to be. And my stress level will increase if they dont know and I have to hide for at least a week.

mhv: The fibroid is on the upper part, kind of hanging above the lining. The 2nd doctor thinks that it may not affect implanation. I have had it before the 2 IVFS but it became bigger with the fertility drugs. I had a hysteroscopy also a year ago and it was smaller and did not affect implantation so my long term doctor thought we should risk it since we were using my eggs and there was no time. Now with the donot she wants it out.

I will talk it over again with her tommorrow and will take a decision definitely this week.
Will let you know... Thanks so much xxxx

[mhv]

The one good thing is you will be using the donor eggs so hopefully the fibroid won't bigger.  I also have a small fibroid/cyst on my uterus.  My RE doesn't seem to think it's a big deal, and like you said if this FET doesn't work (we are using donor also) that we would address the issue then.  He said he didn't want to do a a surgery if it wasn't needed.  I even had a hysteroscopy done, and he didn't touch it because he didn't feel it would make a difference.  

Do you know where in your uterus it is?  top,bottom, close to the cervix or the funus area(top of the uterus, where embryo implants).   I was just curious.  Mine is on the bottom, towards the front of the uterus.

[usuk]

is there a waiting period for the donor eggs? with my RE it's at least 4 months with counseling, finding a match, synchronizing the two cycles, etc. if so you may not feel like it's 8 months of no progress.

[Keep_alive_kicking]

You are exactly right, this is like gambling because the doctor said that we dont know how the fibroid will react in the event of pregnancy. It might stay the same and cause no problems or it might get in the way big time.
He however thinks that it does not affect implantation so much.
My fibroid which I had for a long time was smaller but with the IVF drugs it got bigger. I think it has stopped growing for now.
I will have a chat with my long time doctor again tommorrow and I will take a decision before the end of this month. Either way I am not going to give up even though it is hard...
Thank you so much for your answer, it really helped.
Take care

M xxx

[jakl726]

it sounds like either way is a gamble.  if you do the surgery you will have to wait several months before you can try getting pregnant and likewise, you will also have to wait several months IF... that is IF the transfer doesn't take because of the fibroid.
my friend didn't know she had a fibroid when she got pregnant at 38yo.  the fibroid caused her a difficult pregnancy... a lot of close medical care (something you might take into account) should you try to try without surgery first.  she made it and had a healthy boy.  unfortunately, she wasn't lucky after that and had several miscarriages because of the fibroid.  i said it was a gamble because the first she was lucky and then after she wasn't so lucky.
also, i've heard that some fibroids do grow back and are more 'active' (as in they grow larger and competes for the baby's growth) during pregnancy... is this the kind of fibroid you have?
if it is me... i would try getting pregnant without surgery and prepare myself with the possibility of miscarriage.  AND, if a miscarriage do happen, you can have the d and c (a procedure you will have to have after a miscarriage) and the removal of the fibroid at the same time.  you should ask your long time doctor about this and if you choose to take chances of getting pregnant without surgery.
GOOD LUCK!