dealing with pregnant friends

[magzs1112]

in the last month i have had three friends annouce that they are expecting, and i work with a friend who is also 3 months along.  yes i am very happy that they are pregnant but they also talk about it non stop.  i've been trying for 5 years now ( one year with treatment) and still havent gotten pregnant.  how do u deal with friends that are?  i know they are excited and want to talk about it, but they also know how frustrated i am.  i try not to let it bother me but it REALLY does, any ideas? thanks

[leighanne143]

hi magzs (funny cause my last name starts with mag, and magz in one of my nicknames)

after my MC's i was so angry with those around me that were pregnant.  i even stopped talking to ones who i was civil with, but not close to.  i myself had to work through my feelings before i could be happy for anyone else.  i got into therapy and started meeting with people that were into holistic things and realized that i had to send out positive energy to get it in return, so i could not longer be mad at those that were pregnant and did not have MC's but learn from them and know that one day it WOULD BE ME.

it is one of the hardest things to do.  i am sorry you are having troubles conceiving.  what does your doctor think?

[Lexi72]

I know how you feel.  My cousin informed me today that she is pregnant.  She did IVF and it worked first time.  I want to be happy for her but at the same time it is hard.  Iknow you guys know how that feels.  I am on my first round with IVF just started so I hope I have the same success and hopefully you will have your soon to..  I guess the only way to deal with it is to be positive and know that it will happen for you.  I am surrounded at work with pregnant women.  It is hard but they are pretty supposrtive and are positive for me for a positive outcome.  Let me know if you want to chat.  Don't get dicouraged.  We are here for you!

[Arlotheslug]

I know how you feel.  Right around my our original diagnosis - I found out 4 close friends were pregnant - one was even an accident.  It was hard, but like Mim181, I shared our pain with my friends and was, with some sorrow, really able to share in some of their pregnancies and be happy for them.  Now, it was not without sadness, I broke down at the third baby shower and could not go to the last baby shower - but by talking, they haev also become a great support for me.  I am a strong believer in sharing - not hiding this whole TTC - it is not something to be ashamed of - it just happened, for me it works.  Not saying it will for everyone, but it helps to be able to share.  

[mim181]

Depending on how close your friends are to you, do they know you are doing fertility treatments? The first few months of our fertility treatments we did not share many details about what it actually entailed--the test, scans, medication effects, countless apts. But then we decided keeping things quiet is more stressfull, so now we don't care who knows what we are doing in our quest in ttc.  Once I opened up more to my friends they became more sensitive--almost overly.  It is hard when you want something so bad and see pg all around you.  Last october and november my two closest friends told me they were pg, knowing what we have been going through ttc 31/2 years.-One year with treatment also.  I then found out I was pg in Dec, but it ended in an ectopic.  For several months by friends would not talk to me about their pg. The subject never came up around me and if I did bring it up, the subject would quickly change. This upset me more than anything.  Yes, ttc is difficult but I had always been able to share everything with my friends.  I think  having the ectopic scared them too.  I finally had to flat out tell them they don't have to be afraid to talk about their pg around me.  They both gave birth in June which was very hard for me, but at the same time I am happy for both of them.  It was a rough month for me, I also started more aggressive treatment with injectables and planned to do IVF in October.  July 3 I got a BFP and am praying everything goes smooth.  The best advice that I could give is to think postively, try to take it with a grain of salt, and don't give up ttc.  It will happen, we just don't always know exactly when.  

[abido]

i know how you feel.  the same thing is happening to me. its very frustrating but then we have to keep praying, have faith and keep the hope alive