My night at the ER

[Cheesecake7]

Oh my goodness what a long day. For 3 days I have been having these cramps/pains in my lower pelvis. I have gotten so many different opinions, and no one agreed. Several people thought maybe contractions, and so I called my doctors office. Long story short, they told me to go to the hospital to be check in case I was having contractions, I put it off hoping the pains would go away, but they didnt, so I went to the ER today. After being there for 9 hours the ER doctor comes in and tell me that I am having contractions, and he spoke to my OB and that at 15 weeks there is nothing that they can do for me. I flipped out. There has got to be something that they can do, right? So after some sobbing and freaking out I asked the ER doctor how they knew I was having contractions, since all that they had done was an ultrasound, no monitor, and he says "well, I think that you are having an abdnormal amount of contractions." What?!?!?!  You THINK? So he calls my OB to talk to me on the phone. My OB calls the ER and before I can even open my mouth he says "now you need to listen to me," almost yelling. I dont know what to think. Bottom line, th OB says that he think I am fine, and the ultrasound showed a very active, healthy, normal baby, and the OB thinks that the baby is fine and there is nothing that we can do except sit back and wait. Basically he reassured me, and I am feeling better about that. But, now I feel like an idiot, like everytime I go to the doctor now they are going to be whispering about what a pain I am and how much they hate me. I dont like being that person.  I know that I am a worrier, but I dont think I am being excessive, I guess I am.  DH says I shouldnt care if the people at the office like or hate me, but I do. I am afraid to ask questions or be a little persistent because now I have this big sign over my head that says "pain in the a$$ patient."  So basically, they automatically dismiss me when they hear my voice. Am I being hypersensitive?

[bny807]

SO sorry this happened!!!! i hope your able to take it easy today and not work!   Its so hard going through all of this and then to have to worry more! when will the worrying stop!???   I also wish that there was a way to let people have just a little bit of an inkling of what it really feels like to go through this,, without them going through it of course! but i guarantee that friends/doctors everyone would take a COMPLETELY different approach to the whole subject if they only knew!    thank goodness for this place!   GOOD LUCK your in my prayers!!! how are you feeling?? any more cramping??

[candie429]

I am so sorry for what you've been through.  I can't believe the insensitive comments they made to you, like Oh, no big deal, it happens, just try again.  Are you kidding me!?  That brings tears to my eyes.  People just have no idea what we people like us have been through.  I think you were exactly right to go the ER and get checked out, I would have done the same thing.  I can sympathize because my Dr isn't as caring as I'd hoped she would be.  I thought maybe a woman would be better and could relate, but she just wants to throw medicines at me and talk me into IUI"s without even being open to finding out what the problem is in the first place.  Argh!  I wish you lots of luck at your appointment today and definitely don't be afraid to stand up for yourself or your baby.  I'm the same way, I hate to have people not like me or thing I'm a pain, but in situations like this, you have every right to demand the best care.  All the best to you!

[kaprovea]

That is so awful that they would make you feel that bad.  I mean you want to make sure that the baby is alright and you have gotten this far and don't want anything to happen to the pregnancy.  I think that no matter what they think of you you should ask all the questions you want.  You don't know what is normal and what isn't until after you go through one pregnancy.  I agree with your DH.  I think that you should not care if they like you or not.  You are paying them alot of money to have a happy healthy pregnancy.

[miky72]

ARRRRGGHHHHHHH...I'm so sorry you had to go through this..
Your DR seems a "little" too insensitive for my taste..Are you sure yo HAVE to stay with him?
I hate them when they just do not care!!they are here to help us !
Good luck tomorrow at the office!

[Cheesecake7]

I just wanted to say that you ladies are amazing, and I love you all.    You know it amazes me that doctors, mainly males seem so able to dismiss what we have been through. Of course at this stage I am seeing an OB GYN and not a fertility specalist anymore.  Last night when I said that to get to this point has cost me two angel babies, and 17 months of TTC, I was told that, "it happens", and if I was to lose this baby I would just have to "try again."  I wish sometimes that these doctors just had a taste of the pain of ttc,  not that I would wish it on anyone, because I wouldnt. But, wouldnt it be nice if they had more of an understanding of how emotionally draining and ageing it is?  
Anyway, I always know that you ladies will understand, and I know that each and everyone of you will get there, you are all going to be the most amazing mothers.  

[Cheesecake7]

Thank you ladies. I guess that when i got on the phone last night with my doctor and he wouldnt let me speak, and raised his voice, I felt like a little kid getting yelled at.  I suppose it didnt helpt hat I was already crying and upset and feeling vulnerable.  I was just so angry that he would question why I even went to the ER. Because his office told me to!!!  I needed a pep talk so that when I walk into the office tomorrow morning I wont let them push me over again, especially since DH has a meeting and I have to go alone.
Anyone available to go to the doctor with me tomorrow?  lol     :)

[sasparilla]

Give em h=ell cheesecake!  Thats what they are there for.. to help you! So glad everything is okay.  

[leighanne143]

i agree, you should not be punished for being proactive and worried.  your insurance paid for the ER visit, so it did no harm to your doctor, besides the fact he was called.  I would have done the same thing and if my doctor had a problem i would have told him to go pound sand.  So stop worrying and if they do for some reason treat you differently, then you should speak up and let them know that is uncalled for.

[Lexi72]

Hell no you are not being hypersensitive.  I am in the medical field and we do everything we can to reassure a patient who is freaking out or scared as best as we can, that is our jobs as caregivers.  You know when something does not feel right  you need to voice that and not stop until you get answers.  So many things can happen when you just allow them to tell you that there is nothing they can do.  Be proactive and demand things it's ok, they don't know everything and you have to be an advocate for that baby and yourself.  So if they treat you poorly then it is ok to find another doctor while pregnant, so many women do.  Your doctor has to be on your side.  I know everything will work out great and you will go on to have a healthy baby.  Good luck and let us know how you are doing!  Hugs!!!

[blessedmomof3]

Oh hunny I am so sorry you had to go through that. You keep getting stupid DRs that don't know what they are doing!!!!! I am so glad everything is fine, and after what all you have been through you have the right to be perinoid. I still keep calling my DR over everything even though the MC is over and there is no baby. I was still having pains and I threw a fit to make them do a U/S to make sure there wasn't still something there. And I will again if I start having pain. You have to be that way with these Drs. You are fighting for your baby now, not just being a pain. So let them think what ever they want to.

[Latrice414]

im with helen, who give a rats a**, im on a first name bases with my ob dr and the staff and with my primary care physcian dr and the staff. I laugh when i go into the office because when they see me coming threw the door they are like awwwww sh**, what she want now.  When i call, they put me on hold and trick someone else to take the call, i dont care, and i told them that, you either care for me or i will find another dr who will gladly take my insurance and get paid.  WITHOUT patients, dr s would not have a job.

You and your baby comes first, ask all the questions you want, i ask WHY, HOW,WHEN, are your sure, ummm can you explain that in lamins term please lol, i no they hate me, SO.  Dont feel bad, im sure their are others who are in the same boat.  And since my m/c im really going to be a pain in the a** becasue when i get preggo again, i told her already i want an u/s every two weeks until the first trimester is over, she looked at me like this MF, and i said is that going to be a problem, she said no.(when i no she wanted to say yes it is)

DO NOT LET THEM DISCOURAGE YOU, GIVE THEM MY NUMBER, I LL CALL THEM FOR YOU:)

I hope all is well with you and baby and i will keep you in my prayers and i will say a prayer for the staff not to be a****

[Helen72]

Who gives a rat's *** what they think about you??  Your baby comes first.  Every time I am in a crisis, I call my ob and they fit me into their schedule without an appointment.  This happened 3 times now.  Yes, there is nothing they can do besides an u/s for me for reassurance but I DO need that reassurance.  Your dr is there to help you.  So you should not feel bad when you ask for help.  It's his job!!!!   Besides, seems like you had every reason to get medical opinion.
I hope you and your little one are doing well.
((HUGS))