Aa
This is funny!
I somehow came across this today.. and it made me laugh.. something we all need while going through all of this ttc stuff! here is the website that has other funny stuff: http://www.whattoexpect.com/blogs/murgdansblog/default.aspx
Top 5 Reasons I Don't Want to Be Infertile
Ok. As I approach the big YEAR mark earmark for an official diagnosis of 'infertility'...I'm thinking even more (as if I hadn't been for the last few months anyway) about what a drag this all is. This isn't as easy as it was for, oh, say, my entire family ... or say, all of my friends ... or say, 90% of the rest of the world.
So have a few BIG reasons why this is completely inconvenient for us to experience...and let's face it...who would want to face it? (excluding of course all of those couples who choose to remain a family of 2 voluntarily..or those who are able to get pregnant on accident...they might like to be infertile)
I am cheap. There are no such things as bargains in the 'trying to make a baby world'. I am a bargain shopper! I only buy clothing at TJ Maxx, Marshall's, or Ross. I like a good discount. I cut coupons. I buy the groceries that are on sale. I spent 4 hours bargaining down the price of my car 'till the point where we were still haggling over twenty dollars. I don't want to pay full price for anything...except gasoline of course because who has a choice about that anymore. I am working hard to pay off all my debt knowing that next month after my 'fertility consult' I will likely have to start shelling out cold hard cash for every test and visit. I cannot be sure, because I am not an expert yet, but I am pretty confident that there are no blue light specials or cost cutter coupons for HSGs or IUIs. I am pretty sure that they know you are desperate and aren't going to barter and trade with you for services (I'll give you one weed-eater and a framed Van Gogh print in exchange for a Semen Analysis and a 3-day FSH level).
Annual Exams Suck. What does that have to do with approaching the year mark? Beginning on July 29th (If I am not pregnant by then), I will have to succumb to the stirrups and bear my feminine soul more uncountably more times than the current bi-annual rate.
Most People Don't Get It. I am not even officially infertile (might just be slow), but I am already subject to stupid comments and dumb advice from people who don't know what it even means to 'try to conceive'. I, as countless others, have been advised to 'relax', 'prop up on two pillows', 'stand on my head', 'count my ovulation days', 'have sex every 'x' number of days, 'give it time', 'be positive', etc. I have been told that 'adoption is a wonderful thing (hint, hint)' and I have even had one woman rub her hands all over me and tell me 'I just have to think about getting pregnant and I'm pregnant, maybe it'll rub...off...on...you'. gross
I am a perfectionist. I am successful. I am obsessed with doing things right. I don't usually screw up. I beat myself silly every time I make a mistake. Leave nothing to the imagination. I have done every right thing to get pregnant. Well. We have done every right thing to get pregnant (it just wouldn't work well alone in our case). I have even taken all the stupid advice given to me by the masses (see number 3). I have tried the fab lubes and the super supplements. We've tried every day sex. We've tried every other day sex. We've tried every third day sex. It doesn't make any difference whatsoever. And I'm not giving up coffee. Get over it people.
I need a vacation from work. What does this have to do with getting (or not getting) pregnant? First of all, I need money to take a vacation, money that I am currently saving so that I can hand it over to a) a fertility specialist or b) a future baby that could possibly happen. We can't afford a vacation right now and that *****. ALSO. I have 4 months worth of paid-time-off earned at work and I want to take a maternity leave (they won't let you take a maternity leave unless there is a baby involved). Every day that I go to work I can't stop thinking about the fact that our imaginary baby would have been born two months ago if we had been successful in our endeavor originally and that I could have been taking that fabulous four months off right NOW (woulda, coulda, shoulda...I know). Anyway I'm pissed. I want time off.
Top 5 Reasons I Don't Want to Be Infertile
Ok. As I approach the big YEAR mark earmark for an official diagnosis of 'infertility'...I'm thinking even more (as if I hadn't been for the last few months anyway) about what a drag this all is. This isn't as easy as it was for, oh, say, my entire family ... or say, all of my friends ... or say, 90% of the rest of the world.
So have a few BIG reasons why this is completely inconvenient for us to experience...and let's face it...who would want to face it? (excluding of course all of those couples who choose to remain a family of 2 voluntarily..or those who are able to get pregnant on accident...they might like to be infertile)
I am cheap. There are no such things as bargains in the 'trying to make a baby world'. I am a bargain shopper! I only buy clothing at TJ Maxx, Marshall's, or Ross. I like a good discount. I cut coupons. I buy the groceries that are on sale. I spent 4 hours bargaining down the price of my car 'till the point where we were still haggling over twenty dollars. I don't want to pay full price for anything...except gasoline of course because who has a choice about that anymore. I am working hard to pay off all my debt knowing that next month after my 'fertility consult' I will likely have to start shelling out cold hard cash for every test and visit. I cannot be sure, because I am not an expert yet, but I am pretty confident that there are no blue light specials or cost cutter coupons for HSGs or IUIs. I am pretty sure that they know you are desperate and aren't going to barter and trade with you for services (I'll give you one weed-eater and a framed Van Gogh print in exchange for a Semen Analysis and a 3-day FSH level).
Annual Exams Suck. What does that have to do with approaching the year mark? Beginning on July 29th (If I am not pregnant by then), I will have to succumb to the stirrups and bear my feminine soul more uncountably more times than the current bi-annual rate.
Most People Don't Get It. I am not even officially infertile (might just be slow), but I am already subject to stupid comments and dumb advice from people who don't know what it even means to 'try to conceive'. I, as countless others, have been advised to 'relax', 'prop up on two pillows', 'stand on my head', 'count my ovulation days', 'have sex every 'x' number of days, 'give it time', 'be positive', etc. I have been told that 'adoption is a wonderful thing (hint, hint)' and I have even had one woman rub her hands all over me and tell me 'I just have to think about getting pregnant and I'm pregnant, maybe it'll rub...off...on...you'. gross
I am a perfectionist. I am successful. I am obsessed with doing things right. I don't usually screw up. I beat myself silly every time I make a mistake. Leave nothing to the imagination. I have done every right thing to get pregnant. Well. We have done every right thing to get pregnant (it just wouldn't work well alone in our case). I have even taken all the stupid advice given to me by the masses (see number 3). I have tried the fab lubes and the super supplements. We've tried every day sex. We've tried every other day sex. We've tried every third day sex. It doesn't make any difference whatsoever. And I'm not giving up coffee. Get over it people.
I need a vacation from work. What does this have to do with getting (or not getting) pregnant? First of all, I need money to take a vacation, money that I am currently saving so that I can hand it over to a) a fertility specialist or b) a future baby that could possibly happen. We can't afford a vacation right now and that *****. ALSO. I have 4 months worth of paid-time-off earned at work and I want to take a maternity leave (they won't let you take a maternity leave unless there is a baby involved). Every day that I go to work I can't stop thinking about the fact that our imaginary baby would have been born two months ago if we had been successful in our endeavor originally and that I could have been taking that fabulous four months off right NOW (woulda, coulda, shoulda...I know). Anyway I'm pissed. I want time off.
Thanks for sharing this with us! It is totally true. I especially can relate to the 3rd one - I wish I could make everyone mind their own business! :) I checked out the link and there were some other cute things there too. At least you got me to smile today, dealing with AF and all! :)
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